Spike Bleedin' crime, is what it is. Jackin' up the bar price to pay for fixin' up this sinkhole. Not my fault insurance doesn't cover act of troll.Buffy Gee, maybe it's time you found a new place to patronize.Spike I've half a mind to! Especially since the flowering onion got remodeled off the sodding menu. 's the only thing this place had going for it.Buffy What are you doing?Spike Wha, what do you mean what am ... I ...Buffy Here? At this table? Talking to me. Like we're some kind of talking buddies.Spike Well, I saw you ... sitting here alone. Thought, I don't know, you could, maybe do with a bit of, uh, you know, company.Spike Suit yourself! Although... It's just, we took on that Glory chippie together, I was right there with you, fightin' the fight.Buffy Actually, you were sleeping the sleep of the knocked unconscious.Spike Still, points for intent. You'd think that would be enough to cut me a sliver of slack. Earn a little consideration, respect.Xander Hey, uh, Evil Dead, you're in my seat.Spike Bugger it.Anya Xander, I think you may have hurt his feelings.Xander And you should never hurt the feelings of a brutal killer. You know, that's, uh, that's actually some pretty good advice.
Xander So, who's up for some more liquid refreshments? I'm buying, for I am payday man.Willow I could use a water.Xander Water poses no challenge for payday man, for I have... Hey, where's my change? Spike, you diabolical fiend.
Buffy Poor Will. Still getting those headaches?Willow Fewer and further between, but...yep, they're still exercising their visitation rights.Tara Honey, in case you didn't hear me the first six thousand times, no more teleportation spells.Willow Well, it's just we have squat in the way of Glory-fighting arsenal, and ... another run-in with her and my headaches and nosebleeds are gonna be the least of our problems.Buffy You know what? This is the first R-'n'-R I've had in weeks. How about we go one night without saying the name Glory.Tara I'm down with that. Let's just call "she who will not be named" another name. Let's just call her-Buffy Ben!Tara For example.Buffy I'll be right back.
Xander The point is, I work hard for that money.Spike And you're saying I didn't?Xander You stole it.Spike And you're making it into very hard work!Xander Listen, bleach boy, I don't have a chip in my head. I can do far more damage to you than you can ever do to me.Spike Yeah? Like you could ever hurt me.
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Joyce Buffy?Buffy I'm back by popular demand.Giles Did you have a nice time?Buffy You know, I think I did. Much-needed fun, apart from Willow's headaches and Spike's cameo appearance.Dawn Spike was there?Buffy Unfortunately.Joyce Well, I'm relieved that you're home. Because to be honest, I wasn't feeling all that safe with you gone. At first. And then I, um, remembered that, um, Rupert was here and I felt much, much safer.Giles Yes, well, thank you for the little backpedal, but uh, I'm forced to agree that I'm ... barely an adequate substitute for a Slayer in the house. Good night.Joyce Good night.
Buffy So how is Dawn?Giles She's, uh, she's coping very well. Extremely well, really, considering the extraordinary circumstances of her origin.Buffy Then lemme ask you something. Um, we've been going easy on her the last week ... letting things slide?Giles Oh, I don't think that's at all wise.Buffy You don't?Giles No, the best thing you can do now is behave exactly as you always have. Any special treatment at this stage is likely to undermine Dawn's sense of normality.Buffy You think so?Giles Absolutely.Buffy Thanks. Dawn!!
Harmony„Oh, I'm gonna stake you! I'm coming after you, you bad, evil vampire, and I'm gonna slay you! I'm sneaking up and I'm going to stake you so much with my slaying powers that I have because I'm the chosen - Oh, Spike! “
Buffy "Six found murdered on train at Sunnydale Station."Tara Glory?Buffy "Unconfirmed reports of severe trauma to the throats of one or more of the victims." Survey says ... vampire.
Spike Oh, it's you. What are you doing here lurking about?Dawn I'm not lurking. I'm looking. What are you doing?Spike Nothing.Dawn So is that how you get around town in the daytime? I mean, does that lead into the sewers or something? Can you show me?Spike No. Why are you- Does Buffy know you're here?Dawn Yeah, right. 'Cause nothing would make her happier than to find out I'm hanging out after school in the vampire's lair. Especially yours.Spike Go home then.Dawn I don't feel like it right now.Spike Well, you can't bloody well stay here.Dawn Why not?Spike Because, I've got things to do. Bad, evil things! That are not for a child's eyes.Dawn I'm not a child. I'm not even human. Not originally.Spike Yeah, well, originally I was. I got over it. Doesn't seem to me it matters very much how you start out.Dawn That's smart. I get that. I like how you talk to me like I can understand things. Everyone else is being all ... twitchy and secretive.Spike They're just trying to keep you safe, I expect.Dawn I feel safe with you.Spike Take that back!Dawn I, I mean, you have that whole ... superpower thing, and ... you're just as tough as Buffy is, maybe tougher. Buffy thinks so too.Spike She does?Dawn Well, she's always worried about what she's gonna do if you ever get that chip out of your head.Spike Is that right? So, um... what else does Buffy say about me?
Dawn And the lady just invited you in?Spike Well, I had hubby by the throat, didn't I? Promised her he'd live if she gave me the invite.Dawn And did you? Let him live?Spike What do you think?Dawn Huh.Spike Too much for you?Dawn No! Keep going.Spike And I kill 'em. Right quick, the whole lot. But... There's someone missing. Supposed to be ... this little girl. So I get real quiet, and I hear this tiny noise coming from the coal bin. This little sigh. So I listened harder, it's very, very quiet...Spike Oh ... bloody hell.
Buffy Spike, I need your help, Dawn is- Here.Dawn Spike was just telling a story, a-and he was just at this really cool part-Buffy What the hell is this? What is she doing here?Dawn Just hanging out.Buffy Here?Dawn Can you please let him finish the story? Then you could do the lecture?Buffy Yeah. Okay. Let's hear the story that Spike is telling my little sister.Spike Right. Yeah. So, uh, I knew the girl was in the coal bin. So I rip it open, very violent, haul her out of there ... and then I give her to a good family in a nice home, where they're never ever mean to her, and didn't lock her in the coal bin.Dawn What? That's so lame!Spike I was just about to send her home. I knew you'd be frettin'.Buffy Dawn, get your stuff, we're getting out of here.
Buffy Why doesn't that register with you? Crypt plus vampire equals bad.Dawn 'Cause it was Spike!Buffy Hanging out with Spike is not cool, Dawn, okay? It is, it is dangerous, and ... icky.Dawn I don't think Spike's icky.Buffy Yeah, well, think again, sister-
Buffy You have a crush on him.Dawn No I don't! It's just, he's got cool hair, and he wears cool leather coats and stuff. And he doesn't treat me like an alien.Buffy He's a killer, Dawn. You cannot have a crush on something that is ... dead, and, and evil, and a vampire.Dawn Right, that's why you were never with Angel for three years.Buffy Angel's different. He has a soul.Dawn Spike has a chip. Same diff.Buffy I, I can't listen to this! Spike is a monster, okay? A-and plus, you are only fourteen years old.Dawn I like hanging out with him is all. And even if I did have a crush, he wouldn't notice in a million years. Not with you around.Buffy What does that mean?Dawn Spike's totally into you. Oh, come on. You didn't notice? Buffy, Spike is completely in love with you.Buffy Huh?
Buffy Xander?Xander What?Buffy Never mind.Buffy I-it's just that ... Dawn ... said that...Xander Yeah?Buffy Forget it.Xander Buffy!Buffy She thinks that ... she said that ... Spike's in love with me. I'm not joking.Xander Oh, I hope not. It's funnier if it's true.Buffy I'm serious. Xander, this is serious!Xander All right.Buffy It's creepy.Xander No. Not creepy. 'Cause it's not real! I mean, how upset can you really get over one of Spike's ... fevered daydreams that's not gonna happen?Buffy I guess.Xander So, where did Dawn, how did she come to this *extremely* ... entertaining conclusion?Buffy She was hanging out with Spike. I think she has a crush on him.Xander What?Buffy I mean, I always knew that he had this ... weird fixation with me...Xander I'm the one she has a crush on! Me!Buffy There's nothing here. Let's go.Xander It's always been me! Big funny Xander! Oh, what, she just suddenly decides I'm not the cool one any more? Why is that okay?
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Joyce Oh, Buffy. Spike came by to apologize for yesterday. Our missing child drama.Buffy And he just decided to ... hang out for a while?Joyce Oh, well, I got talking about the gallery. See, there was this-Spike Oh, don't get us all laughing again, Joyce. Anyhow, I really need to talk to your eldest.Buffy What about?Spike I got a bit of info you might be keen on knowin'.Buffy Sorry, all out of cash. Why don't you hit on Giles - hit *up* Giles.Spike I got a bead on the guy who killed those people. The ones on the train.Buffy Do tell.Spike I'll do better than that, I'll show. What's the matter?Buffy Nothing ... just...Spike Two vamps holed up in a warehouse downtown. Come on, what are you waiting for, grab your coat and your pointy sticks.
Buffy Ew.Spike It's not blood, it's bourbon.Buffy Eeeeew.Spike Suit yourself.
Spike I wanna be sedated... Do you like the Ramones?Buffy So if you're not doing this for the money, why *are* y-Spike Shh!
Buffy These vamps have been here for a while. They've nested.Spike So ... you're saying they're a couple of poofters?Buffy No. I'm saying they had nothing to do with last night's murders.Spike How do you figure?Buffy Whoever did it only arrived in town last night. Looks like you've wasted my time.Buffy What are you doing?Spike I, I was ... I wasn't thinking.Buffy What is this?Spike Oh, come- don't get your knickers twisted, I was-Buffy What ... is this? The late-night stakeout, the bogus suspects, the flask? Is this a date?Spike A d- Please! A date? You are completely off your bird! I mean - Do you want it to be?Buffy Oh my god.
Buffy Oh ... oh no. Are you out of your mind?Spike It's not so unusual. Two people ... in the workplace ... feelings develop.Buffy No! No, no, feelings do not develop. No feelings.Spike You can't deny it. There's something between us.Buffy Loathing. Disgust.Spike Heat. Desire.Buffy Please! Spike, you're a vampire.Spike Angel was a vampire.Buffy Angel was good!Spike And I can be too. I've changed, Buffy.Buffy What, that chip in your head? That's not change. Tha-that's just ... holding you back. You're like a serial killer in prison!Spike Women marry 'em all the time!Buffy Uhh!Spike But I'm not ... like that. Something's happening to me. I can't stop thinking about you.Buffy Uhh.Spike And if that means turning my back on the whole evil thing-Buffy You don't know what you mean! You don't know what feelings are!Spike I damn well do! I lie awake every night!Buffy You sleep during the day!Spike Yeah, but - You are missing the point. This is real here. I love-Buffy Don't! Don't say it. I'm going.Spike Oh, come on, we need to talk-Buffy We don't need to do anything! Okay, there is no we! Understand?Spike Buffy.
Spike Who's there?Voice A happy memory, pretty Spike. Look who's come to make everything right again.
Spike So, uh, let me get this straight. Darla got mojo'd back from the beyond ... you vamped her... ...and now she and you are working on turning Angel into his own bad self again.Drusilla Mm-hmm.Spike Sounds fun.Drusilla It is. Like lollipops at the circus. Although ... didn't care for Angelus setting us on fire.Spike And this has got you, what, all nostalgic now, has it?Drusilla I want us to be a family again, my William.
D
Drusilla„Naughty! Shh. You needn't make up stories. I already know why you're not coming. Poor boy. Tin soldiers put funny little knick-knacks in your brain. Can't hunt! Can't hurt! Can't kill. You've got a chip. “
Spike Right, so you've heard. Poor Spike's become a cautionary tale for vampires, right? "You better be good, kiddies, or else they might wire you up someday!"Drusilla I don't believe in science. All those bits and molecules no one's ever seen. I trust eyes and heart alone. And do you know what mine is singing out right now? You're a killer. Born to slash ... and bash ... and... oh, bleed like beautiful poetry. No little tinker-toy could ever stop you from flowing.Spike Yeah.Drusilla Ohh.Spike But the pain ... love, you don't understand, it's ... it's searing. It's, um, blinding.Drusilla All in your head. I can see it. Little bit of ... plastic, spiderwebbing out nasty blue shocks. And every one is a lie. Electricity lies, Spike. It tells you you're not a bad dog, but you are.
Harmony What the heck is this?Spike Oh, bloody hell.Harmony Who is - oh, wait. I get it. Our little sex game was just the beginning. Now you've gone and picked up some cheap queen of the damned to dress up like your precious Drood-zilla.Spike Harm.Harmony You'd better not be thinking what I think you're thinking. 'Cause my answer is the same as always. No threesomes unless it's boy, boy, girl. Or Charlize Theron.Spike Harm, you moron, this *is* Drusilla.
Spike It's been fun while it lasted, Harm, but I think it'd be best now if you hit the road.Harmony Why? Because she's back?Spike No. Because I am.
Willow Well, he ... he actually told you? He, he said, "I love you"?Buffy Well, I-I didn't let him get that far, but ... I could see the words coming.Joyce Honey, did you ... somehow, unintentionally, lead him on in any way? Uh, send him signals?Buffy Well, I ... I do beat him up a lot. For Spike that's like third base.
Spike See anything interesting?Buffy Spike. I, uh ... what ... what happened?Drusilla Me.
Spike Come back, she did. Couldn't live without me.Drusilla My boy's been feeding again. But I know what he really wants to eat. Shall we tie her up? Play with her a teensy bit first.Spike I'm through playing.Drusilla Oooh. I like it when you're all dour and straight to business-like.Spike Bloody well through playing.
Buffy What's going on?Spike Simple. I'm gonna prove something. I love you.Buffy Oh my god.Spike No, look at me! I ... love you. You're all I bloody think about. Dream about. You're in my gut ... my throat ... I'm drowning in you, Summers, I'm drowning in you. I can do without the laugh track, Dru.
Spike Don't mock this.Buffy Go mock yourself.Spike This is Drusilla, girl! You have the slightest idea what she means to me? It's the face of my salvation! She delivered me from mediocrity. For over a century we ... cut a swath through continents. A hundred years, she never stopped surprising me. Never stopped taking me to new depths. I was a lucky bloke. Just to touch such a black beauty.Drusilla Aw...Ow.Spike So you see, it means something.Buffy Not to me. Kill her, why do I care?Spike Here's why. If you don't admit ... that there's something there ... some tiny feeling for me ... then I'll untie Dru, let her kill you instead.Drusilla Yes, please. I like that game much more.
Spike Just ... give me something ... a crumb ... a barest smidgen ... tell me ... maybe, someday, there's a chance.Buffy Spike....The only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious.
Spike Oh, what... Ohh! Gaaah! What the bleeding hell is wrong with you bloody women? What the hell does it take? Why ... do you bitches torture me?Buffy Which question do you want me to answer first?Spike Look, I, I'm at the end of my bleeding tether. You know? I don't even know why I even bother, you know. This is your fault. You're the one to blame for all this.Drusilla Am I?Spike Bloody right you are! If you hadn't left me for that chaos demon, I never would have come back here! Never would have had this sodding chip in my skull! And you - (to Buffy) wouldn't be able to touch me, because this, with you, is wrong. I know it. I'm not a complete idiot. You think I like having you in here? Destroying everything that was me, until all that's left is you, in a dead shell. (scoffs) You say you hate it, but you won't leave. You know, what I should just do, is get rid of both of you. Burn you. Cut you into little pieces so there won't be any more bints to cock up things for Spi- ... Oh, great.
Spike Buffy! Come on now, stop. You can't just walk away from this.Buffy What part of punching you in the face do you not understand?Spike So we had a fight. It's not our first, love, and it doesn't change anything.Buffy It changes everything, Spike! I want you out. I want you out of this town, I want you off this planet! You don't come near me, my friends, or my family again ever! Understand?
Spike„No, it's not that easy. We have something, Buffy. It's not pretty, but it's real, and there's nothing either one of us can do about it. Like it or not, I'm in your life, you can't just shut me out.“
Spike Bleedin' crime, is what it is. Jackin' up the bar price to pay for fixin' up this sinkhole. Not my fault insurance doesn't cover act of troll.Buffy Gee, maybe it's time you found a new place to patronize.Spike I've half a mind to! Especially since the flowering onion got remodeled off the sodding menu. 's the only thing this place had going for it.Buffy What are you doing?Spike Wha, what do you mean what am ... I ...Buffy Here? At this table? Talking to me. Like we're some kind of talking buddies.Spike Well, I saw you ... sitting here alone. Thought, I don't know, you could, maybe do with a bit of, uh, you know, company.Spike Suit yourself! Although... It's just, we took on that Glory chippie together, I was right there with you, fightin' the fight.Buffy Actually, you were sleeping the sleep of the knocked unconscious.Spike Still, points for intent. You'd think that would be enough to cut me a sliver of slack. Earn a little consideration, respect.Xander Hey, uh, Evil Dead, you're in my seat.Spike Bugger it.Anya Xander, I think you may have hurt his feelings.Xander And you should never hurt the feelings of a brutal killer. You know, that's, uh, that's actually some pretty good advice.
Xander So, who's up for some more liquid refreshments? I'm buying, for I am payday man.Willow I could use a water.Xander Water poses no challenge for payday man, for I have... Hey, where's my change? Spike, you diabolical fiend.
Buffy Poor Will. Still getting those headaches?Willow Fewer and further between, but...yep, they're still exercising their visitation rights.Tara Honey, in case you didn't hear me the first six thousand times, no more teleportation spells.Willow Well, it's just we have squat in the way of Glory-fighting arsenal, and ... another run-in with her and my headaches and nosebleeds are gonna be the least of our problems.Buffy You know what? This is the first R-'n'-R I've had in weeks. How about we go one night without saying the name Glory.Tara I'm down with that. Let's just call "she who will not be named" another name. Let's just call her-Buffy Ben!Tara For example.Buffy I'll be right back.
Harmony„Oh, I'm gonna stake you! I'm coming after you, you bad, evil vampire, and I'm gonna slay you! I'm sneaking up and I'm going to stake you so much with my slaying powers that I have because I'm the chosen - Oh, Spike! “
Dawn And the lady just invited you in?Spike Well, I had hubby by the throat, didn't I? Promised her he'd live if she gave me the invite.Dawn And did you? Let him live?Spike What do you think?Dawn Huh.Spike Too much for you?Dawn No! Keep going.Spike And I kill 'em. Right quick, the whole lot. But... There's someone missing. Supposed to be ... this little girl. So I get real quiet, and I hear this tiny noise coming from the coal bin. This little sigh. So I listened harder, it's very, very quiet...Spike Oh ... bloody hell.
Willow Well, he ... he actually told you? He, he said, "I love you"?Buffy Well, I-I didn't let him get that far, but ... I could see the words coming.Joyce Honey, did you ... somehow, unintentionally, lead him on in any way? Uh, send him signals?Buffy Well, I ... I do beat him up a lot. For Spike that's like third base.