Xander The invitation was for one.Harmony Not such a pushover any more, am I?Anya Slayer's house have more weapons lying around.Harmony I've been working out, learning some new tricks, honing my--Instincts.Harmony This isn't over, Xander! I'll be back!Xander And we'll be ready for you! Stakes... crosses... the whole enchilada.
Dawn„Nobody knows who I am. Not the real me. It's like, nobody cares enough to find out. I mean, does anyone ever ask *me* what I want to do with my life? Or what my opinion is on stuff? Or what restaurant to order in from? No. Underline. Exclamation point. Exclamation point, exclamation point. No one understands. No one has an older sister who's a slayer. “
Buffy We're just going to the magic shop. No school supplies there.Dawn Yeah, Mom, I'm not going to Hogwarts. Geez, crack a book sometime.
Buffy Suck up.Riley What? It's a nice outfit.Buffy Mm-hmm.Riley Besides, "I'm here to violate your firstborn" never goes over with parents. Not sure why.
Dawn„Riley, my sister's boyfriend, is *so* into her. They're always kissing ... and groping. I bet they've had sex! “
Buffy Plans? We planned plans?Riley Well, you said, uh, "come over tomorrow and we'll hang," and then I said, "OK." Not the invasion of Normandy, but still a plan.
Giles Blast!Buffy You put it in neutral again, huh?Giles I'm just not used to this automatic transmission. I-I loathe this sitting here, not contributing. No, i-it's not working out.Buffy Giles, are you breaking up with your car?Giles Well, it did seduce me, all red and sporty!Buffy Little two-door tramp.Giles I-I-I don't know, I just - I was so at loose ends, I-I found myself searching for ... some way of feeling more...Buffy Shallow?Giles Perhaps, as I am to act as your Watcher again, a modicum of respect might be in order.Buffy Do I have to?Giles I'm serious, Buffy, there's going to be far less time for the sort of flighty, frivolous-Dawn Hey, there's Willow and Tara!Giles Ooh, they haven't seen my new car.
Dawn„Like Tara. She and Willow are both witches. They do spells and stuff, which is so much cooler than slaying. I told Mom one time I wished they'd teach me some of the things they do together. A-and then she got really quiet and made me go upstairs. Huh. I guess her generation isn't cool with witchcraft. “
Buffy So Giles and I worked out a whole schedule around school. A block of time every day just to focus on my new slayer training.Willow That's a work ethic! Buffy, you're developing a work ethic.Buffy Oh, no. Do they make an ointment for that?
Buffy So I won't be taking drama with you.Willow What? You have to, you promised!Buffy Well, I know, but Giles said that it just wasWillow The hell with Giles.Giles I can hear you, Willow.
Buffy Well, I think "odd" just got upped to "bad."Giles Hello? Anyone here?Tara Mr. Bogarty? The owner. I-I come in here a lot.
Giles I bet the death rate keeps the rent down. Oh, hello. Something's been taken from this case, look here.Buffy What'd they take?Giles I should think an item of, of value, or-or power, possibly even a-Willow A unicorn. 10-inch ceramic unicorn imported from Thailand.Buffy Was it valuable?Willow List price, $12.95.Giles Which begs the question, what kind of an unholy creature fancies cheap tasteless statuary?
Buffy Wait. So what you're saying is if I can get an acceptable babysitter here before you leave, I can go patrol?Dawn Babysitter? I'm fourteen! I'm old enough to *be* a babysitter!Joyce And who are you gonna get on such short notice?Dawn I can take care of myself!Buffy Xander.Joyce Xander?Dawn OK.
Xander Dawn patrol.Dawn Hey.Xander Check this out, they put cheese on round bread. It's gonna be big.
Willow Tara ... you're not an outsider.Tara Well, yeah. I kinda am.Willow No, you're not.Tara Willow, it's okay. Where does this go?Willow Somebody making you feel uncomfortable? Is it Xander? It's Xander, isn't it?Tara No, Xander's a sweetie.Willow It's Giles! It's 'cause he's ... British and doesn't understand about stuff.Tara It's no one. You guys all just have this really tight bond. It's-it's hard to break into that. And I'm not even sure I want to.Willow I'm sure. You're completely one of the gang now. Everyone accepts that. You're one of the good guys.
Anya Crap. Look at this! Now I'm burdened with a husband and several tiny pink children, more cash than I can reasonably manage...Xander That means you're winning.Anya Really?Xander Yes. Cash equals good.Anya Ooh! I'm so pleased. Can I trade in the children for more cash?
Harmony What's so funny?!Xander Nothing! What could be funny, just "Look out, it's a terrifying Harmony gang, ooh!"Harmony Stop laughing!
Buffy Harmony ... Harmony has minions?Xander Yeah, that was pretty much my reaction.Buffy I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's just ... Harmony has minions!Xander And Ruffles have ridges. Uh, Buffy, there's actually a more serious side to all this.Buffy I sure hope so, 'cause I'm having trouble breathing. What is it?Xander Well, she did come here to kill you.Riley Buffy, come on, they have killed once that we know of. She could be a threat to you.Anya Especially now that she can enter your house any time she wants.Buffy What?
Spike„Happy to oblige. Here I thought it was gonna be a slow night. Step on up, kiddies. Thrashings for all. “
Spike Well. Hello, Harm.Harmony Spikey. I mean, Spike.Spike Long time. You look good.Harmony I feel good.Spike I remember.
Harmony How've you been?Spike Not bad. Just got a brand-new telly in my crypt, so...Mort Why are you talking to him?Harmony It's okay, we used to go steady. Spike, Mort. Mort, this is-Mort I know who he is. He kills our kind.Harmony Oh yeah! What's up with that?Spike Bloke's gotta have a hobby, don't he? Piss off, Mort.
Harmony We're gonna kill the slayer.Spike Singing my song now, are you? You should pay me royalties for that one, or at least get your own tune.Harmony I'm not gonna make the same mistakes you did. I've been doing my homework, reading books and stuff.Spike What, Evil for Dummies? Look at you, all puffed up and mighty, thinking you're the new Big Bad. It's, uh ... well, let's face it, it's adorable.Harmony You just can't stand the fact that I'm my own person now. There comes a time in every woman's life when she realizes she needs to take the next step. I've taken it. I've found the real me... and I like her.
Harmony Buffy'll be dead by sunrise. I've got a plan.Spike Lemme guess. Snatch one of her friends, use 'em as bait, lead her into a trap. That sort of thing?Harmony No! Much, much better one. I'm not gonna tell you!Spike Thought as much. Best of luck. Let me know how this arch-villain thing works out for you.Harmony I'll do that. And after Buffy is gone? I'm gonna kill everybody in this town that was ever mean to me ... Spike!
Buffy„Especially the biggie! Numero one-oh. "Do not invite bloodsucking dead people into our home." “
Spike„Bollocks. Gonna have to pinch one of those satellite dishes. “
Spike Speaking of dishes, to what do I owe this unpleasant - Ow! Bloody hell!Buffy I don't have time for banter, Spike. Where's Harmony's lair?Spike Haven't seen her in months. How should I know - Ow!Buffy Where is she?Spike At least lay off the nose. Okay! Okay! Used to have a cave in the north woods. About forty meters past the overpass construction site. Ow. I was telling you the truth.Buffy I know.
Harmony So, slayer, at last we meet.Buffy We've met, Harmony, you halfwit.Harmony I'm the halfwit? Um, excuse me, but look who's fallen into my ... trap.
Buffy„Harmony, when you tried to be head cheerleader, you were bad. When you tried to chair the homecoming committee, you were really bad. But when you try to be bad ... you *suck*. “
Buffy You are going to be in so much trouble when we get home.Dawn Yeah, well ... I'm telling Mom you slayed in front of me.Buffy Fine. I'll just tell her that you ran out of the house in the middle of the night, that you got Anya hurt, invited a vampire in, got kidnapped....
Buffy Giles, are you sure about this?Giles Why wouldn't I be?Buffy Well, aside from the fact that most magic shop owners in Sunnydale have the life expectancy of a Spinal Tap drummer ... and, have you ever run a store before?Giles I was a librarian for years. This is exactly the same, except people pay for the things they don't return. It'll give me focus. Increase my resources. And it'll prevent you lot from trampling all over my flat at all hours. There may even be some space for you to train in the back.Buffy Boy, you've really thought this through. How bored *were* you last year?Giles I watched Passions with Spike. Let us never speak of it.
Buffy Don't. Break. Anything. Just don't *touch* anything.Dawn Not that Buffy's really changed at all. Like she ever would.Buffy What you're doing right now, not moving? Good. Keep doing that.Dawn She still thinks I'm Little Miss Nobody, just her dumb little sister. Boy, is she in for a surprise.
Xander The invitation was for one.Harmony Not such a pushover any more, am I?Anya Slayer's house have more weapons lying around.Harmony I've been working out, learning some new tricks, honing my--Instincts.Harmony This isn't over, Xander! I'll be back!Xander And we'll be ready for you! Stakes... crosses... the whole enchilada.
Dawn„Nobody knows who I am. Not the real me. It's like, nobody cares enough to find out. I mean, does anyone ever ask *me* what I want to do with my life? Or what my opinion is on stuff? Or what restaurant to order in from? No. Underline. Exclamation point. Exclamation point, exclamation point. No one understands. No one has an older sister who's a slayer. “
Buffy We're just going to the magic shop. No school supplies there.Dawn Yeah, Mom, I'm not going to Hogwarts. Geez, crack a book sometime.
Giles Blast!Buffy You put it in neutral again, huh?Giles I'm just not used to this automatic transmission. I-I loathe this sitting here, not contributing. No, i-it's not working out.Buffy Giles, are you breaking up with your car?Giles Well, it did seduce me, all red and sporty!Buffy Little two-door tramp.Giles I-I-I don't know, I just - I was so at loose ends, I-I found myself searching for ... some way of feeling more...Buffy Shallow?Giles Perhaps, as I am to act as your Watcher again, a modicum of respect might be in order.Buffy Do I have to?Giles I'm serious, Buffy, there's going to be far less time for the sort of flighty, frivolous-Dawn Hey, there's Willow and Tara!Giles Ooh, they haven't seen my new car.
Willow Tara ... you're not an outsider.Tara Well, yeah. I kinda am.Willow No, you're not.Tara Willow, it's okay. Where does this go?Willow Somebody making you feel uncomfortable? Is it Xander? It's Xander, isn't it?Tara No, Xander's a sweetie.Willow It's Giles! It's 'cause he's ... British and doesn't understand about stuff.Tara It's no one. You guys all just have this really tight bond. It's-it's hard to break into that. And I'm not even sure I want to.Willow I'm sure. You're completely one of the gang now. Everyone accepts that. You're one of the good guys.
Anya Crap. Look at this! Now I'm burdened with a husband and several tiny pink children, more cash than I can reasonably manage...Xander That means you're winning.Anya Really?Xander Yes. Cash equals good.Anya Ooh! I'm so pleased. Can I trade in the children for more cash?
Harmony What's so funny?!Xander Nothing! What could be funny, just "Look out, it's a terrifying Harmony gang, ooh!"Harmony Stop laughing!
Spike„Happy to oblige. Here I thought it was gonna be a slow night. Step on up, kiddies. Thrashings for all. “