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Transcript (englisches Original)

Shot of Anya dropping her dress. Xander looking surprised.

Giles

Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer...

Anya

Please remove your clothing now.

Shot of Anya and Xander kissing.

Anya

Relationship. What kind do we have, and what is it progressing

toward?

Tara

They don't even know I exist, right?

Willow

I just like having something that's just, you know, mine.

Shot of Tara putting something on Willow's forehead and lips.

Tara Voiceover

I am, you know.

Willow Voiceover

What?

Tara

Yours.

Shot of Buffy and Riley kissing, embracing. Shot of Buffy in bed

looking up at Riley as he bends down to kiss her.

Episode begins:

(Buffy fighting a vampire. She kicks him, they exchange a few punches,

she throws him across the graveyard. Riley joins in and kicks the

vampire. They exchange punches as Buffy loads her crossbow. She brings

it to her face and aims. Riley throws the vampire over his

shoulder. Buffy lowers the crossbow to smile proudly. Riley lifts the

vampire and holds him in position. Buffy fires, but a demon appears

and shoves Riley out of the way, then helps the vampire up. Buffy

drops her crossbow and joins the fight. She kicks the vampire and then

the demon, then moves aside to regroup.)

BUFFY

Okay, you get Fang, I'll get Horny. (Riley looks at her.) I

mean...

(The vampire attacks. He throws Riley over his shoulder. Riley rolls

and comes up holding a stake.)

(Buffy kicks the demon in the chest, then a circular kick to knock him

over. She kicks his knee and punches him several times in the

back. Riley knees the vampire in the back. Buffy has the demon by the

neck and stabs him in the back. Riley stakes the vampire and he's

dust.)

(Buffy throws down her weapon and sighs. Riley puts his stake back in

a thigh holster.)

BUFFY

Whoo! Vampire-demon tag team. (Brushing hair out of her face)

Who says we can't all get along?

RILEY

Don't recall ever seeing that before. (Steps close to her.)

BUFFY

It never happened. (Touching his face) Vamps ... hate demons

... (Riley strokes her hair) Like stripes and polka dots. (Running her

hands down his arms) Major ... clashing. (She and Riley caressing each

other) So, uh ... I guess we should tell Giles about this.

RILEY

Right.

BUFFY

I mean, it's the kind of thing he'd ... wanna know about.

RILEY

Uh-huh.

BUFFY

Like, as soon as possible.

RILEY

As soon as possible.

(Cut to Riley's bedroom door opening. Riley comes in holding Buffy,

kissing enthusiastically. She's pulling his shirt off.)

BUFFY

I mean it now. First thing... (smooch) In the

morning... (smooch) We go tell Giles. (Riley's carrying her across the

room.)

RILEY

First thing. Good plan. (They fall onto the bed.)

Opening credits.

Guest starring Amber Benson, Leonard Roberts, Bailey Chase, Kathryn

Joosten, and Emma Caulfield as Anya.

Written by Tracey Forbes, directed by David Solomon.

(Camera pans slowly across the lobby of Lowell House, darkened. We see

chairs, couches, fireplace. Pan up the stairs and across the landing

to the door of Riley's room. Cut to inside the room. Riley and Buffy

asleep, snuggling. Riley wakes up, looks at Buffy, kisses her

shoulder, gets out of bed. Creepy music, sounds like the same music in

"Hush." Riley puts on pants and leaves, closing the door quietly. He

hears a rattling noise and looks around, looks downstairs, walks

slowly through the dark halls toward a door. Shot of the doorknob and

his hand grasping it. He opens the door and walks into a

bathroom. Turns on the light. The noise continues. Camera pans through

the bathroom: sinks, toilet stalls, bathtub with the shower curtain

pulled shut. Riley looks around the bathroom, approaches the tub

slowly. He yanks back the shower curtain. There's nothing there except

a drippy faucet. Riley makes a face and turns it off. He stands there

looking at it as cheerful music starts.)

(Cut to an ice-cream truck driving down the street, daylight, making

cheery music. Cut to Xander driving the truck, wearing a red-and-white

striped shirt and matching hat. Anya sitting next to him.)

XANDER

Aw, come on. Big party at Riley's house. It's gonna be

fun. Why don't you wanna go? (He stops the truck)

ANYA

You know why not. Those initiative men make me... not

comfortable. And you don't care.

XANDER

They don't even know that you're an ex-demon. And we don't

know that they'd care even if they did know. Which, by the way,

they're not gonna find out. (Gets up and goes into back of truck to

set up) Anyways, they'll probably be too busy flirting with every

other girl at the party to even notice you.

ANYA

So ... you don't think I'm desirable enough to be flirted with?

(X looks surprised) Is that it?

XANDER

I'm just not gonna win here, am I?

ANYA

(sighs. Accusingly) You don't find me attractive any more.

XANDER

What are you talking about? I think you're gorgeous.

ANYA

Oh, really? Well then, why didn't we have sex last night?

XANDER

(looks up) Is that what this is about? We've gone other nights

without sex.

ANYA

(angry) I know. Twice! I can't believe we're breaking up.

XANDER

Breaking- We're not! Are we?

ANYA

Of course we are. You, you've obviously grown tired of me. I

mean, I've seen it happen to thousands of women over the centuries, I

just never thought it would happen to me.

XANDER

Anya, there's a lot more to you and me than the sex. (Anya

rolls her eyes) Well, there should be! I mean, a relationship is

something that you work at. Work through. Together.

ANYA

I don't understand. I'm pretty, I'm young... I mean... (stands

up, walks closer) Why didn't you take advantage of me? Is something

wrong with your body?

XANDER

(getting mad) There's nothing wrong with my body.

ANYA

Well, there must be. I saw that wrinkled man on TV talking about

erectile dysfunction-

XANDER

Whoa! Hey. (Chuckles nervously) All systems go

here. (Gesturing at his crotch) No function problem, okay?

(Anya looks skeptical)

XANDER

(claps his hands, starts unbuttoning his shirt) You want sex?

Let's have sex. Right here. Hot, sweaty, big sex.

(Camera angle changes so we see into the truck from the perspective of

the customer window in the side of the truck. Xander's hands stop

moving. His and Anya's heads turn together.)

(Shot of a group of kids and parents staring up at them.)

(Shot of Xander and Anya giving false smiles.)

GILES VOICEOVER

There's always been great discord between them.

(Cut to Giles holding a rolled-up piece of paper.)

GILES

And yet you say that the, the vampire went to the demon's

aid. The two of them were working as a team?

BUFFY

(sitting on Riley's lap, nods) Everything except giving each

other little pats on the behind.

(We see the interior of a college lounge room. Buffy and Riley in one

chair, Giles on their right, Willow and Tara on the sofa across from

them.)

GILES

Extraordinarily odd. (Sits back, crosses his legs, gestures

with the paper) As a rule, demons ... have no empathy for any of the

species other than their own.

(Shot of Buffy and Riley giving each other affectionate looks)

GILES

In fact, most think of (sees someone walking by, lowers his

voice) vampires as ... abominations. Mixing with human blood and all.

WILLOW

So ... what brought these two together?

RILEY

Not what. Who.

GILES

(realizing) Adam. (Pulls off his glasses)

BUFFY

Think about it. Who better to bring together a bunch of

... demon types than someone who's made out of a ... bunch of demon

types?

TARA

So he's, um, bridging the gap between the races.

WILLOW

Huh, like Martin Luther King.

(Shot of Giles raising his eyebrows skeptically)

GILES

Um, (clears throat) I suggest that, uh, over the next several

nights, you two (Shot of Buffy's and Riley's hands stroking each

other) concentrate your patrol in that same area. If there's any other

peculiar pairings or groupings, you let me know.

RILEY

I'll let the squad know as well. They're patrolling. (To Buffy)

We'll have a, uh, reserve unit out during the party.

GILES

(frown) Party?

RILEY

Tomorrow night. We're having a thing.

GILES

At a time like this? Who, well, whose idea was that?

RILEY

Mine. Boys are pretty ragged, need to let off steam.

(Giles nods.)

GILES

Point taken.

RILEY

You're welcome to come.

GILES

Well, much as I, uh, long for a good kegger, I have other

plans. The Espresso Pump. (Sits back, looks embarrassed)

(Buffy and Riley exchange another amorous look, more hand stroking)

WILLOW

What are you doing there?

GILES

I'm, um, uh, it's a, a meeting of, uh, grownups. It couldn't

possibly be of any interest to you lot.

RILEY

Buffy, hey, look at the time. Don't you, uh, have a class?

BUFFY

Yeah, in about 20 minutes.

RILEY

Yeah, but ... I have that ... thing... (Buffy gets it)

BUFFY

Right, that ... thing, we could ... squeeze in ... before.

RILEY

Yeah.

(They get up)

BUFFY

Bye!

RILEY

Gotta run.

(Giles waves his paper)

WILLOW

(stretching, grinning) They, they're probably going to- (Tara grins)

GILES

Yes, thank you Willow, I did attend university in the Mesozoic

era, I do remember what it's like.

(Cut to exterior shot of Lowell House, night. Cut to inside. It's

dark. Forrest and Graham come down the stairs from the second floor,

shivering.)

(They hear a noise, turn. Walk over to Riley's door and

listen. Rhythmic moaning from behind the door.)

(Graham grins.)

(They walk off. Focus on the door.)

(Cut to inside the room. Buffy and Riley in bed, smooching and rolling

around. Panting, moaning. A hand opens the drawer on the bedside

table. There are lots of condoms inside. The hand grabs one and

retreats.)

(Cut to downstairs. Another Initiative guy (Mason) is putting wood on

the fire in the fireplace. Forrest and Graham come down the stairs.)

here.

pumpin' away upstairs.

(Mason looks up and grins.)

(Forrest and Graham grin too, rubbing their arms to keep warm.)

(Cut to the bedroom. Pan up a naked leg. Buffy and Riley

smooching. Shot of hands on a naked back. Shot from above with Buffy

on top. Closeup on kissing mouths. Long shot of them rolling over so

Riley's on top.)

(Cut to downstairs. Mason finishes with the fire and stands up,

blowing on his hands and rubbing them together. He sits in a chair in

front of the fire.)

(Shot of Graham watching the fire, Forrest walking away.)

(Lingering shot of the fire crackling, flames building.)

(Lingering shot of Riley's bedroom door.)

(Cut to the bedroom. More smooching, moaning. Buffy's back on

top. They get more and more passionate.)

(Cut to downstairs. Flames explode out of the fireplace. Mason

flinches as the flames engulf him.)

(Mason screams. His sleeves and the front of his shirt are on fire.)

(Forrest looks around, grabs a banner and uses it to extinguish the

flames on Mason. Graham moves forward.)

(Graham runs off.)

(Shot of the fireplace. The flames look very contained now.)

Commercial.

(Anya walking down an alley, looking annoyed. She turns a corner onto

the street. We see the entrance to the Bronze in the distance.)

SPIKE

Grr!

(Spike leaps out, wearing his vampire face, growling. Anya jumps back

with a yell. Spike looks annoyed.)

SPIKE

Oh, it's you. (Morphs back to human face)

ANYA

Spike! (petulantly) What are you doing? You made me yell really

high.

SPIKE

Hey! Yeah, I did. I scared you. (Grins. Walks right up to her

until his face is inches from hers) Gimme money.

ANYA

I'm not paying you for scaring me. (Pushes him away.)

SPIKE

You're not paying me. I'm robbing you.

ANYA

Oh, well now that's just ludicrous. You can't hurt me because

you've got that chip in your brain. Also, I like my money the way it

is... when it's mine. (Starts to walk past him.)

(Spike growls and spins her around.)

ANYA

Oh, now come on. You're not even bumpy any more.

SPIKE

(feels his forehead with fingers) Oh. I was just a minute

ago. Hang on. (Steps back, preparing) Get me mad again.

ANYA

(sighs) Does this really work? Scaring people into giving you

their money?

SPIKE

Yeah, it works. Keeps me in blood and beers. (Grins) Plus, you

know, funny. Watching those little humans quail.

ANYA

I'm beginning to understand why you're so friendless.

SPIKE

Look who's talking! (Looks her up and down) I don't see droopy

boy on your arm. (Softly) Did he have better things to do?

(Anya crosses her arms and raises one eyebrow dangerously.)

(Cut to exterior of Lowell House. Loud party music, people walking in

and out, holding beers. Cut to inside, more of the same. Xander,

Buffy, Willow and Tara standing together.)

(Shot of Buffy looking across the room and smiling.)

(Shot of Graham, Forrest and Riley by the stairs holding

beers. Riley's looking across the room (at Buffy), not paying

attention.)

burnt off.

(Shot of Riley smiling across the room at Buffy.)

(Shot of Buffy smiling back.)

RILEY

(not listening) Mm-hmm.

(Forrest and Graham frown, look where Riley's looking. Cut to Buffy

and the gang.)

WILLOW

How many kids?

XANDER

I dunno, a whole herd of them. And some parents to

boot. (Buffy glances at him, then looks past him and smiles) It was

kind of embarrassing, which, welcome to life with Anya.

TARA

So you don't even know if she's coming tonight.

XANDER

I'm thinking no. She was... pretty upset. Which, makes me

wonder, is it me? Am I the crazy one? (Willow and Tara shrug at each

other)

BUFFY

(still looking at Riley, not listening) Uh-huh. Absolutely.

(The others look where Buffy's looking.)

WILLOW

Hey, Buffy, this might be a good time to mention that someone,

so not me, spilled something purply on your new peasant top which I

would never borrow without asking. Still love me?

BUFFY

Uh-huh.

(Willow and Tara look at each other and laugh.)

(Buffy ponders for a moment, then looks at Willow.)

BUFFY

Huh? What about my peasant top?

WILLOW

Nothin'.

TARA

(quickly) Xander was just talking about Anya.

(Buffy nods.)

XANDER

Oh, it's nothing much. Just feeling pretty glad right now that

a certain ex-demon doesn't have any powers.

(Buffy's attention is gone again, staring over at Riley.)

ANYA VOICEOVER

Boy, I miss those powers.

(Cut to Anya and Spike sitting on a couch at the Bronze, holding beers

and looking morose. Spike has his arm along the top of the couch,

almost touching her.)

SPIKE

Yeah, tell me about it.

ANYA

A year and a half ago, I could have eviscerated him with my

thoughts. Now I can barely hurt his feelings. (Sighs) Things used to

be so much simpler.

SPIKE

(wistfully) You know ... you take the killing for

granted. (Anya nods nostalgically.) And then it's gone, and you're

like, "I wish I'd appreciated it more." Stopped and smelled the

corpses, you know?

ANYA

Yeah. Now everything's complicated.

SPIKE

It's a terrible thing, love is. I been there myself. (Pause) It

ended badly.

ANYA

Of course it did. It always does. Seen a thousand

relationships. First there's the love, and sex, and then there's

nothing left but the vengeance. That's how it works.

(Spike smiles, leans in really close.)

SPIKE

You and I ... should just go do the vengeance. Both of us! You

eviscerate Xander, and I'll stake Dru. Like a project.

(Anya looks tempted.)

ANYA

I don't know. I just can't. (Sighs)

(Spike looks resigned. He takes his arm down.)

ANYA

(encouraging) You can go do Dru though.

SPIKE

(nods) Yeah. I will. (Sits still for a moment) Maybe later.

(Anya smiles. They sit together quietly.)

(Cut back to the party. People dancing, having fun.)

(The Snobby Guy from "Beer Bad" is talking to a girl.)

inherent sensuality of language. I mean, you, you learn French and

they make it all about conjugations and, uh, fronted vowels ... but

nobody really talks about ... you know, the way language tastes, you

know, the, the way it feels, rolling over your tongue. I mean, just

think about "car" versus "voiture." (He leans his hand on the wall,

makes a startled face) Oh!

(The girl looks puzzled. He stares at the wall. Shot of his hand on

the wall.)

wow. (Chuckle)

(Cut to Xander walking through the crowds. He walks up to a girl

(Julie) who's looking at a cabinet of trophies.)

XANDER

(reading trophy inscription) "Lowell house. 1962."

(Julie smiles.)

XANDER

Um, just, you know, impressing you with my knowledge of local

history. Or my knowledge of reading.

XANDER

You should see me add short columns of small numbers.

(Julie laughs.)

XANDER

Thanks. I mean ... funny "how amusing," or funny "back away

and avoid eye contact"?

(Xander nods.)

XANDER

(shrugs) Right now I seem to be here with you.

(She smiles. He smiles back.)

(Cut to Buffy approaching Riley.)

BUFFY

Hey, uh, can we- (points upstairs) I, um, need you to take a

look at an ... essay, for ... class.

RILEY

That ... essay, right. Here. (Hands his drink to

Forrest. Forrest looks annoyed. Graham looks amused)

RILEY

I'll catch you guys in a minute, uh, essay ... gotta look at

... (Buffy pulling him upstairs)

(Forrest and Graham watch them go.)

(Forrest shakes his head. They drink their beers.)

(Cut to Snob Guy still talking to the girl. Another guy walks by.)

(Evan looks confused.)

... here. (Points at the wall)

watches with a grin) Now stay. Don't move. (We see some other people

in the background watching and grinning)

kinda feel ... (heavy breathing, gesturing with his other hand near

his crotch) Oh my god. Oh god. (Girl laughs)

(Cut to Willow and Tara sitting on the stairs.)

WILLOW

Horses, like big ... tall ... teeth that can take your arm off

horses?

TARA

Well, sure. I learned to ride when I was a kid. It's

fun. (Smiling) And, by the way, most horses don't like arm very much.

(Willow looks uncertain.)

WILLOW

I had a bad birthday party pony thing when I was four. I, I

look at horses and I see really big ponies.

TARA

You should ride with me sometime. I guarantee safety and fun.

(Willow smiles.)

WILLOW

Well... if you promise you'll look after me.

(Puts her hand on Tara's knee. Tara suddenly jumps back.)

TARA

Don't touch me!

(Willow frowns in confusion.)

TARA

That's ... just disgusting. (Standing up)

WILLOW

(standing) Tara ... what's the matter?

TARA

(panting) I don't, I don't know.

WILLOW

I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to ... are-are you feeling okay?

TARA

I'm f-fine, I just wanna ... (pointing upstairs) go to the

bathroom ... (runs up the stairs)

(Willow watches her go, concerned.)

(Cut to Spike and Anya entering the party together. Spike stares at a

guy exiting.)

SPIKE

Hey ... I know these guys from somewhere.

ANYA

Initiative soldiers, they live here. Experiments happen in the

lab under the house. (Spike beginning to look nervous and angry) It's

where they kept you, put in your chip. Let's have fun!

SPIKE

(angry) What are you doing? You brought me *here*?

XANDER

(offscreen) Anya? What are you doing? (Anya turns)

SPIKE

That's what *I* said! Only I hit the "here" part.

XANDER

Anya, this is crazy. (Anya crosses her arms, glares at him) We

had a little fight. It just means that we have to work our way through

some stuff. It doesn't mean that we rebound with the evil

undead. (Spike looks offended) And what have we been doing with him

anyway?

SPIKE

(grinning) Oh, who's the puffed-up manly man? All splotchy and

possessive. (Walks over to Xander)

ANYA

It's not very convincing, is it?

SPIKE

Yeah. I see now what you said about him earlier. (Looks Xander

up and down) No follow-through.

XANDER

(loudly) Hey! What a surprise! Hostile 17! (Spike trying to

shut him up) Can I get you a drink, Hostile 17?

(Spike looks around anxiously to see if anyone heard.)

ANYA

Xander, stop.

(Spike jumps back from some people who walk by. A bunch of guys walk

past, ignoring them. Spike looks around.)

SPIKE

Pfft! (Regaining his confidence) Well, may be some fun to be

had in the lion's den after all. You two keep scraping. I'll find the

liquor. (Walks away)

XANDER

Anya. What are you doing with him?

ANYA

(angry) We didn't have sex, if that's what you mean. That's all

I do now, not have sex.

XANDER

You're overreacting. We had a fight. But see, it's okay. It's

normal.

ANYA

Yes. The normal part of the ending a relationship right before

the vengeance begins.

XANDER

Right. No! Vengeance?

ANYA

Relax, I'm not gonna do it. I'm just trying to tell you that we

have nothing in common besides both of us liking your penis. And now I

don't even have that! So I get to say when it's done. And it's done.

XANDER

Okay, you know what? You don't deserve to be the one to walk

away from this. I've put up with a hell of a lot from you ... much of

that in the last minute ... and if anyone gets to be the one to leave,

it's me. (Starts to walk away)

ANYA

(incredulously) You're leaving *me*?

XANDER

Yes. I am.

ANYA

Where are you going?

XANDER

To enjoy the party. (Walks away)

ANYA

(yells as she pushes through the crowd, moving away from him)

Well then, then I'm staying too, to, to show you how much I'm not

bothered by you having fun! Because I'll be having more fun!

XANDER

(yells across the room) I'm having fun already!

ANYA

(yells) Me too! (Unhappy face) Woo hoo! (Turns and stalks off)

(Xander looks frustrated, walks off in the other direction.)

(Cut to a bunch of people cheering and laughing. Xander turns a corner

and discovers some people sitting on the floor playing Spin The

Bottle.)

XANDER

Huh. Sometimes I just don't get the sophisticated college

lifestyle.

(He starts to leave, then notices one of the players is Julie, the

girl he was talking to earlier. She notices him too. She looks

surprised, then smiles. She motions with her head indicating that he

should join them. Xander grins and comes to sit down.)

XANDER

Gee, it's a good thing Mom's out. We'd be in trouble.

(Cut to Spike sitting by the beer kegs watching other people drink

(and he's drinking too). The drunk Initiative guy across from him

frowns.)

SPIKE

Yeah. I get that a lot.

(The guy keeps frowning and looking at him. Spike just sits.)

(Cut back to Spin The Bottle. Xander spins, and it lands pointing at

Julie.)

XANDER

Julie! (Looks around nervously) Okay. This, then, would be the

kissing. (Nods nervously.)

(Julie gets on all fours and leans toward him. He moves forward,

looking around for Anya, and quickly kisses her cheek.)

XANDER

Very smooth cheek you have there. Do you exfoliate?

(Suddenly Julie grabs him and plants a passionate kiss on him. The

others laugh and cheer. She climbs on top of him, still kissing.)

XANDER

Whoa! (More kissing. He grabs her arms and pulls her away.)

(She suddenly looks horrified.)

off. Xander looks confused, then runs after her.)

(Xander walks through the crowds, looking around. We hear a girl

yelling "Oh my god!" happily. X finds a group of people around the

spot on the wall. Snob's girl is touching it and going "Oh, oh, oh!

Touch it!" She falls back against Snob Guy. He puts his hand on the

wall. The others chatter loudly.)

(Xander hears crying noises from behind a closed door.)

XANDER

Hi, uh, you okay? (More crying) Julie? (He tries the doorknob

but it's locked.)

(Cut to inside the closet. Julie is crying and cutting her hair off

with a straight razor or knife.)

(She keeps crying and repeating "I'm bad" while chopping off pieces of

hair and dropping them on the floor.)

(Cut to Willow knocking on bathroom door.)

WILLOW

Tara? It's me. (Nothing. She knocks again) Tara? (Opens door)

Tara? (Walks into bathroom, looks around. The camera pans through the

bathroom exactly as it did with Riley at the beginning of the

episode.)

(Willow goes to the sink, turns on the water, splashes it on her

face. She straightens up, drying her face with a towel. She hears a

gurgling noise and turns around. Frowns, walks over to the

bathtub. Dripping noises. Willow pulls back the shower curtain and

finds a young boy in the bathtub, under water, arms crossed over his

chest, struggling. She reaches down to grab him but he disappears and

there's just a tub full of water.)

(Willow straightens up, turns around. The boy is standing behind her,

dripping wet, arms still crossed over his chest. She screams.)

(Cut to Buffy and Riley in bed, kissing. Buffy's on top. They hear the

scream and stop kissing, look toward the door.)

RILEY

(panting) Was that Willow?

BUFFY

(panting) I don't know. (Looks at him.) Doesn't matter. (They

resume smooching)

(Cut to Spin The Bottle game. Two people kiss while the others

cheer. Xander enters.)

XANDER

Hey guys, that girl Julie, she's freakin' out. (They ignore

him, still playing the game.) Is anyone friends with Julie? (Laughter,

ignoring him.)

(Cut to Willow coming down the stairs.)

WILLOW

Xander? Tara? (Runs through the house. Finds Xander staring at

the Spin The Bottle people.)

WILLOW

Xander. Ghost boy. Drowning in a tub. I, I tried to save him,

but, being a ghost already, well, I was way too late.

XANDER

A ghost? (Willow nods) What's the deal? Is every frat on this

campus haunted? And if so, why do people keep coming to these parties,

cause it's not the snacks.

(Tara walks up, touches Willow's arm.)

WILLOW

Tara, how are you?

TARA

I'm okay, but ... I, I don't like it here. This house ... I, I

think we should go.

(Willow nods.)

(Xander looks over as there's more laughter from the bottle game.)

(Closeup on the bottle spinning. Instead of slowing down it gets

faster and faster. The players look puzzled. Suddenly the bottle

explodes. People yell as broken glass sprays at them.)

WILLOW

We need Buffy. (She and Xander run off. Tara follows.)

(They run upstairs.)

XANDER

(yells) Buffy?

WILLOW

(yells) Buffy? Riley?

(They pound on the door. No answer.)

(Suddenly, sharp-looking spiny thorns, with green leaves, sprout from

the cracks around the edges of the door. Willow and Xander jump back.)

XANDER

Buffy!

(Long shot of Buffy and Riley in bed, smooching and writhing. We hear

panting and moaning, which echoes, and faintly we can hear Xander

still pounding and yelling Buffy's name. The bed recedes until it's

just a small square in the middle of the screen, with blackness all

around.)

Commercial.

(Long shot of the bed as a tiny square in the middle of a black

screen.)

RILEY

Do you wanna go back?

BUFFY

Never.

(Cut to Xander still pounding on the door.)

WILLOW

Buffy! Riley!

XANDER

Buffy!

(Tara turns and looks behind them)

XANDER

We gotta get them outta there.

(Tara starts to walk away while Willow and Xander stare at the

writhing thorns still growing from under the door.)

(Tara walks to the balcony and looks down on the main floor. The

people are looking around as the building starts to shake. People

scream and run around. Glass rattling, everything shaking. The people

scream and run toward the door. Suddenly there's a strong tremor and

everyone falls onto the floor including Tara, Willow and

Xander. People get up and run around.)

(Shot of Spike sitting calmly in his chair as people run around

panicking. Spike smiles.)

SPIKE

Well, this party's starting to liven up after all.

(Suddenly straps shoot out of the chair he's sitting in, wrapping

around his chest, wrists, legs, and one over his mouth. He drops his

plastic cup of beer.)

SPIKE

Mmph!

(Shot of Graham standing still, looking grim, as people run screaming

past him. Forrest runs toward him, against the flow of people.)

safety!

and savior.

and turns him to face the wall as the green scanner light travels

across their faces.)

(Elevator opens. Forrest gets in, looks back at Graham, who just

stands there. Forrest grabs him and pulls him into the elevator. The

door closes.)

(The building is still shaking. People running and screaming. Shot of

Anya in the midst of them. The shaking stops. Anya looks around,

panting. Suddenly she sees a girl screaming and waving her arms,

running toward her. The girl runs right to Anya and through her. Anya

gasps and puts her hands on her stomach. Looks behind her but the girl

has disappeared. Anya looks around. The shaking begins again.)

(Cut to the bottom of the stairs. Willow, Xander and Tara coming

down. Anya runs over to them.)

XANDER

Anya. We gotta get out of here. Come on!

(Books start flying off the shelves and attacking them. They all duck

and run away.)

(Shot of Spike struggling, managing to pull the restraints off

himself. Jumps out of the chair and runs off.)

(The gang and a few others running toward the door and out. Xander

looks back and sees Julie, bald, staggering toward him.)

(Xander runs over and grabs her, helps her toward the door. There are

patchy clumps of hair still on her head but she's mostly bald.)

(Cut to the Initiative labs: people working on computers. Forrest and

Graham enter. They go over to a scientist who's on the phone.)

(Scientist motions them to wait.)

and Graham follow.)

the frequencies.

locking mechanisms malfunction ... you know what to do.

(Scientist walks off. Forrest looks at Graham.)

(They walk off.)

(Cut to exterior of Lowell House. Xander helps Julie out. Tara,

Willow, Spike, and Anya are there. Julie immediately runs off. Spike

takes out a cigarette and lights it.)

WILLOW

We have to go back in there.

ANYA

Why?

XANDER

Because Buffy and Riley are trapped.

ANYA

So? (Willow and Tara look surprised) She's the Slayer, he's a

big soldier boy, what do they need you for?

XANDER

Anya, look around! There's ghosts and shaking, and people are

going all Felicity with their hair... We're fresh out of superpeople,

and somebody's gotta go back in there. (Deep breath) Now who's with

me?

(Willow and Tara hesitate.)

SPIKE

I am.

(Everyone looks at Spike in surprise.)

SPIKE

I know I'm not the first choice for heroics ... (drops his

cigarette and grinds it out with his foot) and Buffy's tried to kill

me more than once. And, I don't fancy a single one of you at

all. But... (pauses) Actually, all that sounds pretty

convincing. (Frowns, shakes his head and walks away.) I wonder if

Danger Mouse is on.

ANYA

Xander, let's get out of here.

XANDER

You wanna bail, fine. (Points into house) I'm going back in

there, and I'm not coming out till I bring my friend with me.

(He walks to the door, opens it, peeks inside. Takes a few steps in,

then something invisible pushes him out. He flies backward and lands

several yards down the path. Groans and makes a pained face. Shot of

Anya looking upset.)

XANDER

Or ... it ... could be Watcher time.

WILLOW

We'll, we'll go to Giles'.

TARA

No, no, wait, he, he isn't there. He was going to the Espresso

Pump.

WILLOW

Right, he-he told us not to come. He, he needed some grownup

time.

(They hurry off.)

(Cut to Giles in the coffee bar, playing a guitar. He's wearing casual

clothes and has an earring in his left ear. Lots of people are sitting

and watching/listening.)

GILES

(sings) No one knows what it's like

To be the bad man

To be the sad man

Behind blue eyes

No one knows what it's like

To be hated...

(Shot of Anya, Willow, Xander and Tara watching, amazed. Willow's and

Anya's mouths hanging open.)

ANYA

Oh.

WILLOW

Wow.

GILES

(sings) To be fated...

XANDER

Um, could we go back to the haunted house? Cause, this is

creeping me out.

TARA

Does he do this a lot?

XANDER

Sure. Every day the earth rotates backward and the skies turn

orange.

GILES

(sings) But my dreams, they are as empty, as my

conscience... (Notices the kids watching, looks embarrassed but keeps

singing) seems to be...

(Willow smiles.)

GILES

(sings) I have hours, only lonely...

WILLOW

Now I remember why I used to have such a crush on him.

GILES

(sings) ...my love is vengeance[?]...

TARA

Well, he *is* pretty good.

GILES

(sings) ...that's never free-ee....

ANYA

(agreeing) His voice ... is pleasant. (All three girls are

riveted.)

XANDER

What?!

GILES

(sings) No one knows what it's like... [unintelligible]

WILLOW

Oh, come on, he is kinda sexy.

GILES (sings) Like I do...

XANDER

I'm fighting total mental breakdown here, Will. No more

fueling the fire please.

GILES

(sings) And I blame you...

(The song trails off as we cut back to Lowell House, now deserted,

wreckage everywhere. The camera pans across the room and up the stairs

to Riley's door, just like before, only now the vines cover the entire

door and much of the ceiling and floor nearby. Muffled howling and

screeching noises.)

(Cut to Buffy and Riley in bed. They let go of each other and lie side

by side, panting.)

BUFFY

You're, you're too far away from me.

RILEY

I'm right here.

BUFFY

(panting) You ... have to ... keep touching me... (Rolls over

and starts kissing him again. Moaning, panting)

(Cut to the college library. Giles pacing while the others sit at a

table.)

GILES

When you called to Buffy and Riley, they didn't cry out or, or

respond in any way?

ANYA

(bored) No. They're probably dead.

XANDER

Unless they're too busy doin' it to answer.

GILES

Doing what? (Sits at the table across from Xander)

XANDER

You know, for a god of acoustic rock, you're ... kind of naive.

GILES

(rolls his eyes) I didn't think you meant ... In the midst of

all that, do you really think they were keeping it up?

(Everyone looks at him.)

GILES

Oh, for a different phrasing.

WILLOW

Well, see, that's the thing. People all over the party were

starting to act ... weird. (Quietly) Sexually.

GILES

In what way?

WILLOW

You know. (Embarrassed) Ways. (Looking through an old book)

GILES

Well, it could be some form of, uh, succubi, or a satyr's

prank. It could even be energy coming from the, the lab underneath the

Lowell fraternity.

WILLOW

It wasn't always a fraternity, look!

(They all come to look at her book.)

WILLOW

(reading) "Between 1949 and 1960, the Lowell Home for Children

housed upwards of 40 adolescents: runaways, juvenile delinquents, and

emotionally disturbed teenagers from the Sunnydale area."

TARA

Children? Did any of them, um, die in there?

GILES

If there were deaths, then, uh, perhaps we're dealing with a

fairly ... standard haunting.

WILLOW

It doesn't say. It's mostly about the old house director,

Genevieve Holt. "Sunnydale Children's Aid. 30 years of community

service. Giving disadvantaged kids the love and care they deserve."

GILES

When did she die?

WILLOW

(looks at book, looks up at Giles) She didn't.

(Cut to old lady's house. She opens a pair of French doors and ushers

in Giles, Xander, and Anya.)

GILES

Of course.

(Xander and Anya looking around the room)

GILES

I, I suppose you were like a mother to them. (Sits on sofa) You

did everything for them?

of the lord. I was given a medal.

(Xander and Anya sit on sofa beside Giles)

GILES

Yes, wonderful. Uh, congratulations. Um, this'll sound a little

strange, but, ah, did you notice any odd... disturbances in the house?

GILES

We-well, um, like uh, furniture moving of its own accord, or,

uh, objects appearing out of nowhere, or, or perhaps you saw someone

appear one moment, and then they were gone the next, i-inexplicably.

GILES

Yes, it does, doesn't it? Yes. Um... (Looks at Xander and Anya)

Well, forgive me for, for asking this, but um, the children in your

care, were any of them ever ill, or did anything ever happen to any of

them?

what you mean. The engraving on the medal says how good I was with the

children. (Smiles)

GILES

(smiles) Oh, yes.

hugs and praise when they were good, and ... punished them when they

were dirty.

GILES

Well, ah, children will be children. They, you know, they do

like to play in the, uh, the muck. (Smiling)

(Mrs. Holt looks disapproving.)

ANYA

You didn't mean mud dirty.

GILES

(starting to understand) Very, uh, perceptive of you.

kingdom. Lost to lust.

GILES

But you ... helped them.

preening like Jezebel. Doting over their pretty hair.

XANDER

So you'd hack it off.

removes his glasses) They were better for it.

ANYA

What about the bathtub? Something happened there.

tainted with impure thought and deed.

GILES

You held them under?

judgment on me?

GILES

(Rises) Well, someone ought to! You traumatized and, (she waves

her hand dismissively) and abused these children, children who, who

have no doubt become extremely disturbed adults! (She starts to walk

away; he pursues her) You have ruined lives, Mrs. Holt. Furthermore,

what you did has now manifested itself as a, a malevolent presence

which threatens still more lives! You have a great deal to answer for.

and every one of you. (Points to them all)

XANDER

Yeah? You smell sin? Well let me tell you something, lady, she

who smelt it dealt it!

(Giles looks at him.)

XANDER

It's like what you said, but faster.

(Cut to the three of them leaving her apartment.)

XANDER

Well, that totally adds to my "old people are crazy" theorem.

ANYA

I don't get it. I mean, those kids were tortured, but they

weren't killed, so where are those ghosts coming from?

GILES

I don't believe there are any ghosts.

ANYA

One ran right through me.

GILES

Not a ghost. An apparition. I believe we're dealing with a kind

of poltergeist. A whole cluster of them, in fact, born out of intense

adolescent emotion and sexual energy.

ANYA

Both of which were totally pent up during Mrs. Holt's reign of

repression.

XANDER

So with Buffy and Riley having ... you know, acts of nakedness

around the clock lately, maybe they set something free. Like a ... big

burstin' poltergasm.

GILES

Yes. And now the poltergeists are drawing more and more energy

out of them. Feeding on them in fact. Buffy and Riley are, are

powering this whole thing.

XANDER

Okay, they're the battery in the boo factory, so what happens

when the battery's drained?

(Cut to Buffy and Riley in bed. Blurry slow-motion kissing.)

GILES VOICEOVER

They die.

Commercial.

(Buffy and Riley in bed. Blurry slow-motion kissing. Panting,

moaning. Riley pulls away, lies back.)

BUFFY

Don't stop. Never stop touching me.

(She turns his face toward her and they kiss again.)

(Cut to Tara spreading a red cloth on a table, then sitting in a chair

. Willow brings candles and sets them on the table, sits down. We see

Giles sitting on the floor. They're in Willow and Buffy's dorm room.)

ANYA

What good are weapons against disembodied spirits, Xander? They

have no ass to kick.

(We see Xander rummaging in Buffy's weapon chest.)

GILES

She's right. (Gets up, holding a book) You should just stay

outside.

WILLOW

We'll bind the spirits long enough for you to get Riley and

Buffy out.

XANDER

How much time will you buy us?

TARA

Could be tricky, we're calling upon the communal spirit of a

certain time and place. (Willow lighting candles. Xander takes out

weapons, hands one to Anya, holds a machete.)

XANDER

Let's go.

(Anya looks at the sword he gave her, and follows him.)

(Cut to Xander outside the Lowell House. He sighs.)

XANDER

What do you feel?

ANYA

(pressed against the window) Sad, afraid of being without you,

and a little hungry.

XANDER

I meant about the house.

ANYA

Oh. Still haunted.

(Cut to the dorm room.)

TARA

Give me your hands. Form a circle.

(She and Willow and Giles hold hands, eyes closed.)

TARA

Children of the past, spirits of Lowell, be guided by our

light. Come forth and be known to us.

GILES

Ho-how will we know when it works? (A noise. They all open

their eyes and see a bunch of ghostly children standing around them.)

TARA

We'll know.

(They look around nervously.)

(Cut to exterior of house. The door swings open. Xander and Anya look

in nervously. Xander steps forward, looks in.)

XANDER

House is clean.

ANYA

Let's go. You first.

(Xander takes a breath, walks in. Anya follows. They look up. The

entire staircase is covered in the leafy, spiny vines.)

XANDER

We need to work fast. Never know how long before the munchkins

get homesick.

ANYA

Or the human battery conks out.

(They start walking up the stairs, through the vines.)

XANDER

Watch your fingers.

(He starts hacking at the vines with his machete.)

TARA

We implore you ... be still. (Ghost children watching silently)

GILES

Find it in your hearts to leave our friends passage.

WILLOW

Transform your pain. Release your past. And ... uh ... get

over it.

(Giles looks at her, nervous. Willow shrugs.)

(Cut back to Lowell House. Xander is ahead of Anya, hacking at vines.)

XANDER

You okay?

(Anya looks angry, hacking at a vine.)

(Xander makes it to Riley's door, tries to reach for the knob. A

sudden wind comes up.)

(Cut to dorm room. The wind blows Willow's hair around. The children

look up. Their hair is blowing too. The wind howls loudly. Screeching

noises.)

TARA

(yelling) Find here the serenity you seek, the peace you -

(The red-covered table flies out from under their hands and crashes

against the door. The wind stops. They look around.)

GILES

What's happened?

TARA

We lost them.

WILLOW

Xander.

(Cut to Lowell House. The howling and wind continue. Xander is

suddenly thrown back from the door, landing on his back.)

ANYA

Xander!

(The vines grab Xander, throw him into the bathroom and shut the

door.)

ANYA

Xander! (Runs to the door and grabs the knob. She is thrown

back, through the balcony railing and down to the floor below. Lands

half on the floor, half on a sofa.)

(Cut to Xander in the bathtub, being held underwater by unseen hands,

struggling. Through the water he can see the children standing over

him, watching. He can't breathe.)

(Cut to Anya getting painfully to her feet, looking determined. Starts

up the stairs. Howling and screeching noises continue.)

ANYA

Shut up, repressed crybabies!

(A huge thorn suddenly sprouts from the vine her hand is resting

on. The thorn goes right through the middle of her hand. She screams.)

ANYA

Ow!!

(Pulls the thorn out, looking even madder. Continues up the stairs.)

(Cut to Xander still struggling. Through the water he sees Anya

reaching for him. She pulls him out of the water and helps him up.)

(They burst out of the bathroom into the hall. There are more vines

everywhere.)

XANDER

Come on, we just gotta-

(A vine knocks him down.)

ANYA

Xander!

(Anya helps him up and they continue fighting their way through the

vines.)

ANYA

We can make it through this.

(The push on cautiously. A bunch of vines wrap around Anya.)

ANYA

Xander, get it off!

(He unwraps her. They clutch each other, make their way to the

door. Twist the knob and push the door open.)

(Shot of the bed seen from far away, as before, suddenly rushing

closer and closer.)

(The howling noises stop.)

(Shot of Xander and Anya framed in the doorway.)

(Buffy and Riley in bed, naked. The light from the doorway illuminates

them. They sit up, clutching the sheets against themselves.)

BUFFY

Xander! Don't you knock?

(Shot of Xander and Anya looking disheveled. They look at each other,

turn and walk away.)

RILEY VOICEOVER

I can't believe it really happened.

(Cut to cafeteria the next day.)

BUFFY

I just had no idea. It's so creepy! (Looks up at the others) He

was really singing?

(Willow nods.)

XANDER

I'd say it was more like crooning. (To Anya) If we grow old

together, remind me to skip the midlife crisis. (Puts his hand on her

knee.)

ANYA

(smiling, softly) Okay. (They look affectionately at each

other.)

WILLOW

Come on, you have to admit, it was kinda sexy.

XANDER

Please stop saying that. I'm willing to offer cash incentives.

RILEY

We're just lucky no one got injured. (Looking at Buffy) No

thanks to us.

WILLOW

Don't be too hard on yourself.

BUFFY

He's right, Will. If Riley and I hadn't ... gotten so wrapped

up in each other, none of this would've happened.

ANYA

True. Feel shame.

(Riley looks like he is doing just that.)

XANDER

My girlfriend. Mistress of the learning plateau.

WILLOW

Really, it wasn't your fault. You were under the influence of

powerful magicks.

BUFFY

We were like zombies. I had no control over myself at all.

WILLOW

Must have been horrible.

(Buffy looks sidelong at Riley.)

(Riley looks at her, looks down.)

BUFFY

Yeah. Horrible.

(They both nod firmly.)

RILEY

Uh-huh.

BUFFY

Mm-hmm.

RILEY

It was bad.

End.