Frischlinge

Buffy

[sighing] Anything?

Willow

Ah! 'Introduction to the Modern Novel.' "A survey study of twentieth century novelists." Open to freshmen, you might like that.

Buffy

'Introduction to the Modern Novel?' I'm guessing I'd probably have to read the modern novel.

Willow

Maybe more than one.

Buffy

I like books. I just don't want to take on too much. Do they have an introduction to the modern blurb?

Willow

Oh! Short story.

Buffy

Well, that's good.

Willow

Oh, no. It conflicts with Psych.

Buffy

Maybe I shouldn't take Psych.

Willow

You gotta. I-It's fun, a-and you can use it as your science requirement. Anyway, Professor Walsh is supposed to be great. She's like, world-renowned.

Buffy

How do you get to be renowned? I mean, like, do you have to be 'nowned' first?

Willow

Yes, first there's the painful 'nowning' process. Wait! 'Images of Pop Culture.' This is good. T-They watch movies, T-TV shows, even commercials.

Buffy

For credit?

Willow

Heh. Isn't college cool?

Buffy

How'd I miss that one?

Willow

Well, you did sort of wait till the last minute with your course selection.

Buffy

Sorry, 'Miss I-chose-my-major-in-playgroup.'

Willow

That's an exaggeration. I just, you know, think it's good to be prepared. Don't want to be caught unawares.

Buffy

Well I've been busy! It's been a very slay-heavy summer. I just haven't had a whole lot of time to think about life at UC Sunnydale.

Willow

It's exciting, though, isn't it?

Buffy

Yeah! It's gonna be an adjustment.

Willow

Yeah, it's like, five miles away. It's uncharted territory.

Buffy

Giles said I have to be secret-identity gal again.

Willow

That makes sense.

Buffy

It's gonna be tough, though... with a roommate.

Willow

Yeah.

Buffy

I'm psyched about college. (The vampire smiles as he gets closer.)

FRESHMEN! WE'RE DOING THIS BY FOLDER COLOR! IF YOU'RE NOT HOLDING ON TO A YELLOW FOLDER, YOU'RE IN THE WRONG GROUP. YOU BELONG UP BY WIESMAN HALL. (She points. Buffy looks at the folders in her arms but doesn't see a yellow one. She starts to walk in the indicated direction.)

Not gonna take it!

No!

Don't take it lying down!

No!

What do we want?

[Unintelligible... Food?]

When do we want it?

Now!

Rally, tomorrow night. We have to let the administration know how we feel.

Buffy

Yeah, right.

Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?

Buffy

Uh, you know I meant to and then I just got really busy.

Party, Thursday at Alpha Delt, you gotta be there. Free Jello shots for freshman women.

Buffy

Hey, you guys know where Wiesman hall is?

Willow

Buffy, Hey!

Buffy

Oh, boy am I glad to see you.

Willow

Isn't this cool? There's so much going on.

Buffy

Yeah. Almost, one might say, too much.

Willow

I got all my courses... except for 'Modern Poetry', I had to switch to 'Ethno-musicology.' But that's cool, West-African drumming, I think it's going to change everything. Have you met your roommate yet?

Buffy

No.

Willow

Me neither. I hope she's cool.

Buffy

(Indicating the fliers in Willow's hands.) I see you got ticketed too.

Willow

Yes! I've heard about five different issues and I'm angry about each and every one of them. What'd you get?

Buffy

'Jello shots.'

Willow

I didn't get 'Jello shots!' (She picks a flier out and tries to hand it to Buffy.) I-I'll trade you for a-a 'Take Back the Night.'

Buffy

Are we heading anywhere near Wiesman Hall? I still need to get my I.D. card.

Willow

Oh, I got mine this morning. The lines are really long now, you should have gone early.

Buffy

Well, I hope that I learn from this experience, and that I grow.

Willow

I'm being annoying, aren't I?

Buffy

No, it's nice that you're excited.

Willow

It's just in High School, knowledge was pretty much frowned upon. You really had to work to learn anything. But here, the energy, the collective intelligence, it's like this force, this penetrating force, and I can just feel my mind opening up--you know?--and letting this place thrust into and spurt knowledge into... That sentence ended up in a different place than it started out in.

Buffy

I'm with you, though, I'm all for spurty knowledge. It's just, a little overwhelming. Don't you feel it?

Willow

Well, I'm... (Gasp) Ooh, boyfriend! My on-campus boyfriend. (Oz comes up and he and Willow kiss.)

Buffy

Oh no, I forgot to pick mine up. Line's probably really long there, too.

Willow

How are you?

Oz

Good. It's pretty much a madhouse, a madhouse.

Buffy

I know, I was just saying that to Willow. I mean it's just so overwhelming. Don't you feel completely disoriented?

Oz! (A student comes up to them.)

Oz

Hey, Paul.

Finally matriculating with us, very cool! Tell me you're playing this week!

Oz

Thursday night, Alpha Delta.

Willow

Ooh! (She holds up a flier.) I have that one!

I'm bringing the wrecking crew. Jello shots? Hmm? Do you know where they're distributing the work study applications?

Oz

(Points.) Back of Richmond Hall, next to the auditorium.

Thanks. Seeya bro. (He walks off.)

Oz

Go get'em. (He remembers what Buffy was talking about.) My band's played here a lot. It's still all new. I don't know what the hell's going on. (He sees someone.) Hey, Doug!

Willow

Library... ooh! Library. C'mon. (They start climbing a flight of stairs.)

Buffy

It's too bad Giles can't be librarian here. Be convenient.

Willow

Well, he says that he's enjoying being a gentleman of leisure.

Buffy

Gentleman of leisure? Isn't that just british for unemployed?

Willow

Uh-huh, he's a slacker now.

Buffy

Speaking of slack, have you heard anything from Xander?

Willow

Not for awhile, he's still on his cross-country-see-America thing. (They reach another landing and turn to climb yet another flight.) He said he wasn't coming back until he had driven to all fifty states.

Buffy

Did you explain about Hawaii?

Willow

Oh, he seemed so determined.

Buffy

I hope he gets back soon. It'd be fun to have the whole gang back together--you know?--hanging out in the... library. Wow!

Willow

Oh my gosh! Isn't this amazing?

Buffy

It's... cozy.

Willow

You know I never wanted to hurt Giles' feelings, but occult books aside, our old library just didn't have the greatest selection. But this!

Buffy

Yeah, this is great, you know, if we ever need a place for the Nuremberg rallies.

Willow

This is a real library. (Someone shushes them.) See we even have to whisper. It's like a whole new world.

Willow

Here.

Buffy

Thanks. (Buffy puts the books in the basket.) Can't wait till mom gets the bill for these books, I hope it's a funny aneurysm.

Willow

'Introduction to Psychology.' Oh, up there. (She indicates three of four books stacked on the edge of the top of a bookshelf.)

Buffy

I'll get'em. You know, this store discriminates against short people.

Willow

Oh, I think there's a protest next week.

Buffy

Woah, oh. (They fall on the head of a young man crouched underneath. He staggers back but recovers.) Oh, ahh. Oh god, I'm so sorry.

Riley

I'm okay. It's okay. Well, that was bracing.

Buffy

I'm so... the books were just too high, and then everything was bad. (She bends down to pick up the books.)

Riley

Let me give you a hand. (He bends down and picks up some books.) Let's put a few of these down here. (He puts them on a lower shelf.) So, uh, are you girls taking Intro Psych, or do you just want me dead?

Buffy

Uh-huh. I mean the first one.

Riley

Well, you'll have a lot of fun. Professor Walsh--she's quite a character.

Willow

You've taken it?

Riley

I'm a TA, I'll be helping the Professor out. I'm sorry, I've forgotten my manners in all the concussion... I'm Riley.

Willow

Willow, and this is my friend Buffy.

Riley

It's nice to meet you both.

Buffy

I'm nice to meet.

Willow

Hey, do you know if we're going to be studying 'Operant Conditioning' in the first semester? 'Cause I hear that's kinda Professor Walsh's specialty.

Riley

Absolutely. Do you know her treatise on Dietrichs work?

Willow

I know of it.

Riley

It's not in the syllabus, but it's a fascinating read... if you're in to that sort of thing. They have it here.

Willow

Oh, where?

Riley

I'll show you. I don't meet that many freshmen that know that much about psychology.

Willow

Well, it's fascinating.

Buffy

Yeah, you know, 'cause everyone's got a brain. (Riley half smiles politely and starts leading the way.) Or, almost everyone. (She follows Riley and Willow.)

Buffy

Hi.

(Looks up.) Oh, hi! Are you Buffy?

Buffy

Yeah.

Kathy.

Buffy

Hi, it's nice to meet you.

Yeah!

Buffy

So, it's, ah... it's a pretty nice room.

Hmm! I was surprised, 'cause you hear horror stories about freshmen housing. You took the right side?

Buffy

Yeah, umm, but if you want it...

No, no. I just wanted to make sure that's what you wanted. Exited for classes tomorrow?

Buffy

Painfully.

(Laughs) I bet there's going to be a lot of parties to go to this week, too. Not that I'm a crazy partier. Oh, and I'm not always this hyper, either. I'm just excited.

Buffy

Yeah, me too.

I am really glad they put me with somebody cool... I can tell that you're cool. I just know that this whole year is going to be super fun! (She unfolds the poster onto the wall revealing it to be of Celine Dion.)

The point of this course is not to critique popular American culture. It is not to pick at it, or look down upon it. And it is not to watch videos for credit. (Small laughter from students.) The point is to examine...

Buffy

(Whispers to student beside her) Do you know if this class is full yet?

And there are two people talking at once, and I know that one of them is me. And the other is... a blonde girl. You, blonde girl. Stand up. I'm very excited to hear what you have to say that's worth interrupting my lecture for.

Buffy

I was just asking if the class was still open, if I could still sign up.

(Picks up a clipboard.) If your name isn't on this sheet then you are wasting everyone's time. Are you on the sheet?

Buffy

They told me that if I just...

Do you understand? You are sucking energy from everyone in this room. They came here to learn. Get out!

Buffy

I didn't mean to... suck.

Leave! (She starts to leave.) Thank you. (She walks out.)

Riley

If, uh, you're looking for Psych, it's through here. (He points.)

Buffy

Oh, thanks. How's your head?

Riley

Sorry?

Buffy

Yesterday. In the bookstore. You don't remember.

Riley

Oh no, sure, I remember you. You're Willow's friend.

Buffy

Yeah.

Riley

My head is fine, it just stung for a bit and I lost most of my basic motor functions. It's no biggie. (They reach the lecture hall.) We're here. I'm sorry, I'm trying to remember you.

Buffy

Buffy.

Riley

Buffy, right. Have fun tonight, ok?

Buffy

Thanks. (She starts toward the tiers and turns back.)

Riley

It's not in her lesson plan.

Buffy

Great. (She turns back to the tiers and spots Willow and Oz. Willow waves to her, and Buffy climbs up to sit beside her.)

Willow

How was pop culture?

Buffy

I decided not to take it. It seemed dull.

Ok. This is Psych 105, 'Introduction to Psychology', I'm Professor Walsh. Those of you who fall under my good graces will come to know me as Maggie. Those of you who don't will come to know me by the name my TAs use, and think I don't know about, 'The Evil Bitch Monster of Death.' Make no mistake, I run a hard class, I assign a lot of work, I talk fast and I expect you to keep up. If you're looking to coast I recommend 'Geology 101,' that's where the football players are.

Buffy

Ooh!

Wow, sorry.

Buffy

No, I-I wasn't looking.

Did you, uh, lose your way?

Buffy

Me? Oh, no, no, I'm just going to Fischer Hall. Which I know is on the Earth planet. Recently voted 'Most Pathetic.' Uh-huh.

Hmm, well, I'm lost and I have a map. (He holds it up.) So...

Buffy

Ooh, I come in second. I'm Buffy, by the way.

Eddie.

Buffy

Ok, so... (They both study the map.) That's Fischer Hall, right?

Ok, and this is Dunwirth Building, that's my dorm... it's just... it's us I can't find.

Buffy

Are we the blue part?

No... yes!

Buffy

Ok, right, so I-I came from there, then we just wanna go that way (She points.) to the bike path.

You sound very certain, I'm in. (They start walking and he sees the books in Buffy's arms.) You're taking 'Psych 105' with Professor Walsh.

Buffy

Yeah, I mean, I'm gonna try. She's not afraid of the long words, huh?

Yeah, she's pretty intense. A lot of the courses are really tough.

Buffy

I'm a little upset. I had it on good authority that this was a party school.

I think it's supposed to get easier.

Buffy

I still feel like carrying around a security blanket.

'Of Human Bondage.' Have you ever read it?

Buffy

Oh, I'm not really into porn... I mean I'm just... I'm trying to cut way back.

(Laughs.) No, there's no actual bondage, it's just a novel. I've read it, like, ten times. I always keep it by my bed... security blanket.

Buffy

I don't really have a security blanket... unless you count Mr. Pointy.

Mr. Pointy?

Buffy

Oh, bike path. So it's nice to know that I'm not the onlyentirely confused person on this campus.

I suspect there's a lot of us.

Buffy

Well, I'll look for you in Psych.

Yeah, maybe we can help each other figure out what the hell they're talking about.

Buffy

(Laughs.) Ok.

Maybe even make it through the year. (Laughs.)

Buffy

Goodnight.

Night.

I'm sorry... did you lose your way?

Oz

You looking for someone?

Buffy

Yeah.

Willow

You made a friend? Good for you.

Buffy

Thanks, mom.

Yeah, Eddie just took off, packed his stuff, left a note. Happens sometimes. People just can't handle it. There's always a few kids who lose it early in the first semester and just bail.

Weak ones, I guess. (He leaves.)

Boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, (sigh) astonishingly boring... we... we have to kill some cooler people. Will somebody remind me?

(Now wearing the sweater.) You were the one who said pick on the weak ones, thin the herd and all that. Does this sweater make me look fat?

No, the fact that you're fat makes you look fat. That sweater just makes you look purple.

You're such a loser.

Hey, words can hurt like a fist.

Hey, check it out. (He holds up a folded poster.)

Well? Do we have a Klimt? (He opens it.) Yes!

(Carrying it over to a wall with two different styles of posters on it.) Big score for Klimt! (He staples the poster to the wall.) Monet still well in the lead, but look out for team Klimt, coming from behind. (He makes a mark on a white board under the 'Klimt' heading.)

Freshmen! Man, they're so predictable.

And you can never eat just one.

Yeah, I'm hungry!

What a shock. We eat when I say we eat.

Well, we could hit the tunnels...

We eat (she vamps out and roars) when I say we eat.

God, lighten up.

I think it's funny when you scream... it's like... (he roars) whoa!

I got ta get me some better lackeys. I swear, you guys are useless. (she gets up and starts crossing the room) I shouldn't even take you on the hunt.

Great! Why don't you let dead Eddie get your dinner.

That's pretty much the plan. (She walks past Eddie, who opens his eyes at that moment.)

Buffy

Giles?

Rupert, is this Bleu cheese or is it just cheese that's gone blue? (She reaches the front room and sees Buffy, she appears to be wearing a shirt and nothing else.) You're not Giles.

Buffy

Uhm... you know the door was open, so I just... uh, Giles does still live here, right?

He does.

He appears. (Giles comes out of the hallway. He's wearing a bathrobe.) Rupert, you have a guest.

Giles

Buffy! Hello.

Buffy

Is this a bad time?

Giles

No! Oh, uh, forgive me. This, uh... this is, uh, Olivia. She's, uh, an old friend, she's staying here for a few days.

Couldn't pass through sunny Cal without looking up ol' Ripper.

Buffy

Uh huh.

Giles

Buffy's a, uh, was a student of mine. How's, uh, how is university?

Buffy

Pretty much the same as high school, in the sense that I need help.

Giles

Ahh... help... yes.

Buffy

But, this just looks like a bad time.

No, you guys talk. I'll just go slip into something a little less comfortable. (She and Giles share a look and she leaves the room.)

Giles

So, uh, trouble with, uh, studies?

Buffy

This is a bad time.

Giles

You keep saying that.

Buffy

Well it looks pretty bad! I think someone had just a little too much free time on their hands.

Giles

I'm not supposed to have a private life?

Buffy

No! (In a whiny voice.) 'Cause you're very, very old, and it's gross.

Giles

Well, before I succumb to the ravages of age, why don't you tell me what brings you here.

Buffy

There's this student missing.

Giles

Yes?

Buffy

Eddie. He's supposed to have left school but... I just don't think he did. I met him outside last night, and then I went back where we met, and it looked there had been a struggle.

Giles

And?

Buffy

And we need to stop this! And Eddie's RA said kids disappear a lot. There could be a gang of vampires working the campus. We need research, an-an-and charts and stuff.

Giles

I-I still don't see where I fit in. You haven't described anything that you can't do yourself.

Buffy

Ok, remember before you became Hugh Hefner when you used to be a watcher?

Giles

Officially you know longer have a watcher. Buffy, you know I'll always be hear when you need me. Y-your safety is more important to me than anything but, you're going to have to take care of yourself. You're out of school and I can't always be there to guide you.

Buffy

I'm sorry to bug you.

Giles

Buffy, I...

Buffy

Oh! No! I mean yeah, you're... you're right. I can handle it. It's just that... I'm on it.

Giles

I-I'm here if you need me. (She leaves.)

(Walking into the room.) She's gone?

Giles

Yes.

So, did you help her?

Giles

I'm not sure.

Buffy

How am I supposed to hunt in this mob? Don't you people have homes?

Buffy

Eddie?

Buffy

Eddie! Eddie, hey, wait up!

Buffy

God I was worried that something had happened to you...

Buffy

...and of course it has, 'cause you're a vampire. I'm sorry.

I'm not.

Slayer! (Buffy turns and sees her.) Wow, uhm, I heard you might be coming here. (The other vamps come out of hiding and surround Buffy.) This is, I mean, what a challenge! The slayer!

Buffy

And you are?

I'm... I'm Sunday, I'll be killing you here in a minute or so.

Buffy

You know that threat gets more frightening every time I hear it.

Uhh... are we gonna fight? Or is there just gonna be a monster sarcasm rally?

I'm in for a piece.

Buffy

Everybody gets to play.

Guys, this is totally mine.

Ok, but you gotta share the eatin'. 'Cause I'm thinkin' slayer's blood's gotta be--Whoa!--like Thai Stick.

Buffy

I thought people were suppose to get smarter in college?

Yeah, I think you had a lot of misconceptions about college. Like that anyone would be caught dead wearing that.

Don't take this the wrong way, but... (She punches her in the face again.) You fight like a girl.

Freshmen!

N-n-n-n-no! The best part was when you ragged on her clothes. She was like, 'No! Not the ensemble!' (All the vamps laugh.)

Those Jeans? With the little patches? She has no one to blame but herself.

I heard they're coming back.

Not if I kill every single person who wears them.

I still think you should've let us have a piece, we could've finished here off.

She's not gonna last the night, she's a done deal. In fact, guys, you're gonna hit the tunnels.

Buffy

Mom?

Buffy.

Buffy

Hi.

Honey, how are you? (She hugs her and Buffy hugs back, one armed.)

Buffy

I'm ok.

How's college? You've been fighting.

Buffy

Oh, uh, they started it.

Just as long as you're being careful. I-I really didn't think you'd show up here for a while.

Buffy

Oh, I didn't have classes today, and everything's just been so hectic I figured it'd be nice to come and crash for...

Oh, well yeah. You know, I-I didn't think you'd be back for a couple of weeks. Uh, but I didn't move anything, it's still your room.

Buffy

You filled it with packing crates.

Yeah, but I didn't move anything.

Buffy

If it's still my room, shoudn't I still be able to fit in it?

Well it's just for a couple of weeks while we do inventory at the gallery. I just really didn't think you'd be back so soon.

Buffy

Neither did I.

Buffy

Hello? Hello? (There's nothing but silence, so she hangs up and leaves.)

Xander

The whole world in front of her, and she comes back to this dive.

Buffy

Xander! (She gives him a one-armed hug.)

Xander

Hey, Buff.

Buffy

Oh, when did you get back?

Xander

Couple days ago.

Buffy

You freak of nature. Why didn't you call me?

Xander

Well I knew you guys were starting the whole college adventure and I didn't want to, um, you know... help you move.

Buffy

I missed you. How was your trip? Is America nice? I hear it's nice.

Xander

There's some purple mountains majesty, I'm gonna have to say.

Buffy

What'd you do? What'd you see?

Xander

Well...

Buffy

Tell me!

Xander

'Grand Canyon!'

Buffy

You saw the Grand Canyon!

Xander

Well, I saw the movie 'Grand Canyon,' on cable. Really lame.

Buffy

Hunh?

Xander

Basically, I got as far as Oxnard and the engine fell out of my car, and that was literally. So, I ended up washing dishes at 'The Fabulous Ladies Night Club' for about a month and a half while I tried to pay for the repairs. No one really bothered me or even spoke to me until one night when one of the male strippers called in sick and no power on this earth will make me tell you the rest of that story. Suffice to say I traded my car in for one that wasn't entirely made of rust, came trundling back home to the arms of my loving parents, where everything was exactly as it was except I sleep in the basement and I have to pay rent. How's college?

Buffy

Male strippers?

Xander

No power on this earth!

Buffy

Ok. College is good.

Xander

Ok, uh, once more with even less feeling.

Buffy

No, really! I-I mean, Willow's in heaven and Oz has this really cool house off campus with the band. (They both sit on the couch.)

Xander

And you're sitting here alone at the Bronze looking like you just got diagnosed with cancer of the puppy.

Buffy

It's just... there was this vampire, and she took me down, and I just... I don't know how to stop her.

Xander

Then where's the gang? Avengers assemble! Let's get it going!

Buffy

No, I don't want to bug them. I mean they're just starting school, and they don't need this.

Xander

Ok Buff, what's the 'what' here?

Buffy

It's just, what if I can't cut it?

Xander

Can't cut what? Slaying?

Buffy

Slaying, everything.

Xander

Buffy, this is all about fear. It's understandable, but you can't let it control you. 'Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to anger.' No wait, hold on. 'Fear leads to hate. Hate leads to the dark side.' Hold on, no, umm, 'First you get the women, then you get the money, then you...' okay, can we forget that?

Buffy

Thanks for the Dadaist pep talk, I feel much more abstract now.

Xander

The point is, you're Buffy.

Buffy

Yeah, maybe in high school I was Buffy.

Xander

And now in college you're Betty Louise?

Buffy

Yeah, I'm Betty Louise Plotnick of East Cupcake, Illinois. Or I might as well be.

Xander

Buffy, I've gone through some fairly dark times in my life, faced some scary things, among them the kitchen at 'The Fabulous Ladies Night Club.' Let me tell you something, when it's dark and I'm all alone and I'm scared or freaked out or whatever, I always think, 'What would Buffy do?' You're my hero. Ok, sometimes when it's dark and I'm all alone I think, 'What is Buffy wearing?'

Buffy

Can that be one of those things you never, ever, tell me about?

Xander

It's a deal. (He stands up.) Let's put this bitch in the ground! What do you say?

Buffy

I think I say thank you.

Xander

And nothing says thank you like dollars in the waistband. Ok, what do we do first?

Buffy

Kids disappearing every year. Not too many, just enough so that everyone thinks they up and left.

Xander

I can't believe the vampires took your stuff. Murder I expect, but petty larceny seems so... petty.

Buffy

They have to be keeping it somewhere, on campus or at least near by.

Xander

Hey, how far back do the disappearances go?

Buffy

Uhh... they weren't too common before '82.

Xander

Match number! Check this out. (He carries two newspapers over to the counter, and Buffy picks one up and reads it aloud.)

Buffy

'Psi Theta loses it's charter. Building to be closed for renovation.'

Xander

1982. Look at this. (He reads from the other paper.) 'Former Psi Theta fraternity house lies dormant while zoning issues drag on before the city council.' We have a winner.

Buffy

Looks pretty cherry.

Xander

You up for a little reconnaissance?

Buffy

You mean where we all sculpt and paint and stuff?

Xander

No, that was the renaissance.

Buffy

Oh. I've had a really long week. Let's go look at the house.

Buffy

Score!

(In a mocking voice.) Look how tough I am.

Buffy

Oh! That's my skirt! You're never going to fit in it with those hips! We have to kill them!

Xander

We need weapons.

Buffy

I don't see my weapons trunk down there. It was right by my bed. Mr. Gordo? (Her voice turns to steele.) Go to my room. If it's not there try Willow's. I'll keep an eye... my diary?!?

Uh-oh, score!

Xander

I'll hurry! (He works his way back from the skylight.)

Buffy

Laugh all you want, this time we play it my way. And the rules are just going to be a little bit... (The skylight gives way and Buffy falls into the room.)

Say, don't I know you from... beating the crap out of you?

Buffy

(Standing up.) I just thought I'd drop in. Get it? Drop in? Boy, tough room.

I must say, you've really got me now. I mean, it's a diabolical plan, throw yourself at my feet with a broken arm and no weapons of any kind. How'm I going to get out of this one?

Buffy

You got a nice set-up here, but you made one mistake.

Yeah? What was that?

Buffy

Well, I'm not actually positive, but statistically speaking people usually make at least... (Sunday punches her.)

It seems kind of weird. (She hands the note to Oz.)

Oz

Yeah, weird's a pretty good word for it.

Willow

Buffy wouldn't just take off, th-that's just not in her nature. Except for that one time she disappeared for several months and changed he name, but there were circumstances then. There's no circumstances.

Does Buffy have a history of emotional problems? 'Cause on my request form I was pretty specific about a stable non-smoker.

Oz

I don't think this is her handwriting.

Willow

I bet there were circumstances! We've probably been so wrapped up in our own petty lives that... that we totally missed the circumstances. We're bad friends!

Oz

Let's think this through.

Willow

How can you be so calm?

Oz

Long, arduous hours of practice. Now either Buffy took off, or she was robbed, or...

Xander

It's a prank!

Willow

Xander!

Xander

How are my guys? (He hugs Willow, then hugs Kathy.) I don't know you, do I?

No.

Xander

This is very intrusive, isn't it?

Little bit. (Xander let's her go.)

Xander

Xander.

Kathy.

Xander

(Looks at Oz.) Do we hug?

Oz

I think we're too manly.

Willow

What's the prank?

Xander

Prank? Oh, the room. Well some friends of Buffy's played a funny joke, and they took her stuff. And now she wants us to help get it back from her friends who sleep all day and have no tans.

Willow

Oh! Those friends!

Oz

Funny guys.

Xander

They took the chest. Well, let's go! Let's go to our friend. It's nice meeting you Kathy.

You too!

Xander

Let's go to Will's, get supplies.

Willow

Is Buffy in danger?

Xander

She's in a holding pattern, we've got some time.

Oh, and this. This is my favorite item.

Buffy

You don't want to touch that.

You know this arm's not looking so good. It might have to come off.

Buffy

You want to know the truth? I only need one.

This is startin' to suck.

Woah!

What about breaking your arm, (She grabs at Buffy's left arm) how'd that feel.

Buffy

Let me answer that with a head butt. (She does and sends Sunday staggering.)

Buffy

And for the record, (Buffy makes a fist with her left hand.) the arm is hurt, (She uppercuts Sunday, sending her flying.) not broken.

Oz

Hey, Buff. Need a hand?

Buffy

(Brandishing a stake with a twirl.) No thanks, (She twists around throwing the stake into Sunday's heart.) I'm good.

Xander

So, all that other stuff in there? That's just gonna sit in there, right? Uh, I mean, no one owns it in the strictest sense.

Oz

It seems wrong, somehow.

Xander

Dibs on the rowing machine.

Giles

Buffy!

Willow

Hi, Giles.

Xander

What's with the arsenal?

Giles

I've been awake all night. I know I'm supposed to teach you self-reliance, but I can't leave you out there to fight alone. To hell with what's right, I'm ready to back you up. Let's find the evil a-and fight it together.

Buffy

Great! Thanks! We'll get right on that.

Giles

The evil is this way? (He follows.)

Buffy

My room is.

Willow

Hey Giles, could you get this box on top? (He does.)

Xander

So, college not so scary after all, hunh?

Buffy

It's turning out to be a lot like high school, which I can handle. At least I know what to expect.