Mein Wille geschehe

Hey, thanks Riley.

Riley

Looks good. (Notices Buffy) Oh, hey Buffy.

Buffy

(Jokingly) Is there something you want to tell me?

Riley

What?

Riley

Oh, yes — I am a lesbian.

Buffy

Well, it's good that you're so open about it.

Riley

Oh, hey, you know how we were talking about having a picnic? I was thinkin' — do you ever hang out at Rhode's field? It's beautiful there. Usually not that crowded, either. I thought maybe we could have a little spread — sandwiches, maybe some ants? It'll be fun.

Buffy

We were talking about having a picnic?

Riley

So, was that a conversation I actually had, or one I was just practicing?

Buffy

Practicing?

Riley

Okay, yes — I have been known to do a little prep work before our conversations. It's not easy, you know, talking to you sometimes. It's like an oral exam.

Buffy

Boy.. that's just what every girl longs to hear.

Riley

Well, you're tricky!

Buffy

Like an exam?

Riley

I never know how you're going to react to something. That's why I like you so much. You're a mystery. Probably every beautiful girl in the world has some jerk telling her she's a mystery, but.. I swear. You really are. There's a lot about you that needs puzzling out.

Riley

I loose you somewhere?

Buffy

Right around.. beautiful.

Riley

Hey — don't you just love a picnic?

Buffy

It's just, different, you know? A picnic. First of all, daylight — kind of a new venue, Buffywise. And the best part — he said he would bring all the food, so all I have to do was to show up and eat. Those are two things I'm really good at.

Willow

So he's nice?

Buffy

Very, very.

Willow

And there's sparkage?

Buffy

Yeah. He's— have you seen his arms? Those are good arms to have. I really like him. I do.

Willow

But..?

Buffy

I don't know. I really like being around him, you know? And I think he cares about me.. but.. I just.. feel like something's missing.

Willow

He's not making you miserable?

Buffy

Exactly. Riley seems so solid. Like he wouldn't cause me heartache.

Willow

(Fake worry) Get out. Get out while there's still time.

Buffy

I know.. I have to get away from that bad boy thing. There's no good there. Seeing Angel in LA.. even for five minutes.. hello to the pain.

Willow

The pain is not a friend.

Buffy

But I can't help thinking — isn't that where the fire comes from? Can a nice, safe relationship be that intense? I know it's nuts, but.. part of me believes that real love and passion have to go hand in hand with pain and fighting.

Buffy

I wonder where I get that from.

Buffy

(Exasperated) So..you saw their faces but you can't describe them.

Spike

(Playing coy) Well, they were human. Two eyes each, kind of in the middle.

Buffy

Uh huh. And the lab?

Spike

Underground. I came out through an air vent. I don't know exactly where. I'm done. Put the telly on.

Spike

It's about time. Hope you got it warm enough.

Spike

I don't know why you're so dainty all of a sudden. You've done this for Angel — you must have.

Spike

Hey! Give it!

Buffy

Okay, that's it. The invalid amnesiac routine is over. The kitchen is closed until you can tell me something useful about the commandos.

Spike

I'm tryin' to remember. It was very traumatic.

Buffy

How long are you going to pull this crap?

Spike

How long am I going to live once I tell you?

Giles

Look, look, Spike — we have no intention of killing a harmless.. uh, creature.. but we have to know what's been done to you. We can't let you go until we're sure that you're .. impotent —

Spike

Hey!

Giles

Sorry, poor choice of words. Until we're sure you're, you're..

Buffy

Flaccid?

Spike

You are one step away, missy.

Buffy

(Sarcastically) Giles, help! He's going to scold me.

Buffy

You know what? I don't think you want us to let you go. Maybe we made it a little too comfy in here for ya.

Spike

Comfy? I'm chained in a bathtub drinkin' pig's blood from a novelty mug. Doesn't rank huge in the Zagut's Guide.

Buffy

You want something nicer? (She leans her head to the side, exposing her throat to him) A look at my.. poor neck? All bare and tender and exposed.. all that blood just .. pumping away..

Giles

Oh, please.

Spike

Giles, make her stop.

Giles

If those two don't kill eachother, I might lend a hand.

Willow

What about a truth spell? I'm not positive it would work on a vampire, but we could try. Make him fess up?

Giles

A truth spell, of course. Why didn't I think of that?

Willow

‘Cause you had your hands full with the undead English Patient?

Giles

Yes.. We'll have a go.

Willow

Looks pretty simple. I'll stop by the magick shop tomorrow.

Giles

Excellent.

Willow

Alright. I'll be back in the morning with donuts and motherwort. Bye, Buffy! I'll see you at home.

Buffy

Bye!

Giles

Great. Thank you, Willow.

Giles

Um, Willow may have had a very helpful idea. She seems to be coping better with Oz's departure, don't you think?

Buffy

She still has a way to go, but yeah — I think she's dealing.

Spike

What, are you people blind? She's hangin' on by a thread. Any ninny can see that.

Willow

Devon said that he sent for his stuff. I guess that means he's planning on settling down somewhere.. else. Not here.

Buffy

I guess so..

Willow

I feel like I've been split down the center and half of me is lost.

Buffy

I know. It feels like that now..

Willow

Oz is gone.

Spike

(Yells) Come on, now! It's telly time!

"This is Buffy and Willow. We're not in right now, so please leave a message."

Giles

Oh, uh, Willow.. It's Giles. Um.. I thought you were bringing the ingredients for that spell? I really have to—

Spike

(v.o.) "Passions" is on! Timmy's down the bloody well, and if you make me miss it, I'll—

Giles

(Yells to Spike) You'll do what? Lick me to death?

Giles

Look, uh.. Willow.. I think we ought to try the spell. Among other things, I'd like to shower sometime today. Alone.

Buffy

Driving.

Riley

Yeah.

Buffy

You seriously drive for fun.

Riley

Well, not four-wheeling or anything, but yeah. Don't you?

Buffy

Actually, no-wheeling is more my specialty. I'm an avid pedestrian.

Riley

You're kidding, right? I mean, you know how to drive..

Buffy

Well, I took the class.. Cars and Buffy are, like .. un-mixy things.

Riley

It's just because you haven't had a good experience yet. You can have the best time in a car. It's not about getting somewhere. You have to take your time. Forget about everything. Just.. relax. Let it wash over you. The air.. motion.. Just, let it roll.

Buffy

We are talking about driving, right?

Riley

Thought I was.

Riley

I'm taking you. Some night when it's warm. Up past the vineyards — it's going to change everything for you.

Buffy

I'm in.

Riley

Hey, Willow.

Buffy

Hey.

Willow

I interrupted. You've got apples. My mist.

Riley

Wait. Sit. There's plenty to go around.

Buffy

Did something happen? Is something wrong?

Willow

No.. Everything's fine. Same.

Buffy

Oh.

Willow

Your apples are turning brown, the way they do.

Riley

Yeah, I guess they do that.

Buffy

Yeah.

Willow

Yeah.

Xander

Geez, you mean Oz just sent for his stuff and didn't even call her? That's pretty harsh.

Anya

I only wish I had my powers back. I'd liquify his entrails for her.

Xander

That's sweet. God, poor Will. No wonder she's—

Xander

—having a wonderful time.

Buffy

Wow. Way to re-bound.

Xander

I believe that's the dance of a brave little toaster.

Willow

Hey, guys! C'mon! This music's great!

Xander

It's nice to see you brought your boogie shoes tonight, Will.

Willow

Yeah.. I-I know I've been sort of a party-poop lately, so I said to myself, "Self!" I said, "It's time to shake and shimmy it off."

Buffy

Sounds like a good policy.

Willow

Yeah! And it works, too. You know, I figure, in the grand scheme of things, we're all just—

Buffy

Drunk..?

Willow

Drunk.. I mean, that's such a-a strong word. Kind of a guttural Anglo-Saxon word. Drunk.

Xander

Will, not loving the drowning of the sorrows.

Willow

Not drowning — wading. A-a-and.. See? (She points to the beer bottle) Light. No big.

Buffy

No big? Anyone remember when Buffy had the fun beer-fest and went one-million years B.C.?

Xander

Sadly without the fuzzy bikini..

Anya

Off topic, Xander.

Xander

Right. Topic now. (He gets up and walks to Willow) Will, how about you give me that beer?

Willow

No! Why should I? I've got pain, here — big-time legitimate pain.

Xander

We all have pain, Will.

Willow

Oh, like what? "Oh, poor me.. I live in a basement." Yeah, that's dire.

Buffy

Okay, you know what? That's it — I'm taking you home.

Willow

(Pulls her arm away) No, I don't want to.

Buffy

Well, you'll thank me when you still have a friend in the morning.

Willow

I just can't stand feeling this way. I want it to be over.

Buffy

It will. I promise. But it's gonna take time.

Willow

Well, that's not good enough.

Buffy

I know. It's just how it is. You have to go through the pain.

Willow

Well, isn't there someway I can just make it go away? Just ‘cause I say so? Can't I just make it go ‘poof'?

Willow

Harken all ye elements, I summon thee now. (She drops something into the bowl/pentacle in front of her.) Control the outside, control within. Land and sea, fire and wind. Out of my passions, a web be spun. From this eve forth, my will be done. So mote it be.

Willow

It is my will that my heart be healed. Now. (She sighs and puts the mirror down when nothing happens. Picks up the spellbook) I will that this book speak it's words to me. (She sighs again, putting the book down when nothing happens. She picks up a bent Q-Tip) I will that this Q-Tip gets.. unbendy..?

Willow

Come in.

Willow

Giles, what are you doing here?

Giles

I'm.. a bit concerned about you, actually.

Willow

Did Buffy tell you about the beer, 'cause..

Giles

Uh, Buffy didn't tell me anything..

Willow

Oh, well.. forget the beer part, then.

Giles

Happily. I came because we had an appointment the other day..

Willow

Oh.. Right, right.. The truth spell.

Giles

Yes, um.. Willow.. I know that you're going through a very difficult time.. But, sherking your responsibilities—

Willow

But.. I didn't — sherk. I.. Did the research, and I picked up the motherwort, I just forgot the doing the spell part.

Giles

Well, that isn't like you at all.

Willow

I know. I-I've been off. I-I even tried to do a spell last night. To have my will done? I was hoping it would make me feel better. But it just went ka-blooey.

Giles

A spell? I don't think it's wise for you to be doing that alone right now. Your energy's too unfocused.

Willow

Well, that's not true. I said I was off, not incompetent.

Giles

I only meant that you're grieving, and it might be wise if you took a break from doing spells without supervision.

Willow

So I get punished ‘cause I'm in pain?

Giles

It's not punishment. I'm only saying this because I—

Willow

Oh, you care. Yeah. Everybody cares. Nobody wants to be inconvenienced. You all want me to take the time and go through the pain, as long as you don't have to hear about it anymore.

Giles

No, that's not fair.

Willow

Isn't it? ‘Cause I'm doing the best I can and it doesn't seem to be enough for you guys.

Giles

And I see how you could feel that way, I do—

Willow

No, you don't. You say that you do, but you don't see anything.

Giles

Um.. Oh, sorry.. Um, sorry. P-perhaps I'd better be going. Let's um, let's talk about this later.

Giles

Oh! I'm sorry.. So sorry.

Giles

Elobe, enemy, be now, quiet.

Spike

You know.. not too keen about this spell stuff. Tends to be a bit unpredictable.

Giles

Yes, well, you might have thought about that sooner. Um.. (Continues reading) Let your decietful tongue be.. (Has trouble with he words) Be.. Uh.. Let no.. Untruths.. Be spoken..

Spike

Hey, what's that all about?

Giles

Hm? Oh, nothing. I just got ash in my eye.

Spike

Well, I won't have you doin' mojo on me if you can't read properly. You might turn me into a stink beetle or what all.

Giles

T'would be a generous ending for you, Spike.

Willow

I mean, I'm going through something. I just don't see why he was getting down on me.

Buffy

Giles just worries. Spells can be dangerous. It doesn't mean he thinks you're a bad witch.

Willow

I am a bad witch.

Buffy

No, you're a good witch.

Willow

I'm not kidding anyone. If I had any real power, I could have made Oz stay with me.

Buffy

Will, you wouldn't have wanted him to have stayed—

Willow

And I didn't have the guts to do the spell on Veruca, and my "I Will it So" spell went nowhere. The only real witch here is fuzzy little Amy.

Buffy

I think you're being a too hard on yourself.

Willow

She's got access to powers I can't even invoke. I mean, first — she's a perfectly normal girl..

Willow

Then poof — she's a rat.

Willow

I could never do something like that.

Buffy

Hello? Uhh.. I'll be right there. (Hangs up) Spike escaped.

Willow

A-and you're going? Now?

Buffy

Sorry — duty thing.

Willow

Well, I mean, what's the rush? Spike can't hurt anyone, right? And I figured since I'm kinda grievey, would could, uh..you know, have a girl's night. We could eat sundaes and watch Steel Magnolias and you can tell me how, at least I don't have diabetes.

Buffy

Will, I can't hang out with you until I get Spike back to Giles, you know that. Okay, I'll be back as soon as I can. I promise.

Willow

I don't see the big. He's probably just standing out there. You could find him in two seconds..

Buffy

Thought that was gonna take longer.

Spike

Me too. Musta got.. turned around..

Spike

Hang.. hang on, this— this is it. Wait.. no.. yes.

Buffy

What are you talking about?

Spike

The lab. Commando lab. The door was right here where I escaped.

Buffy

(Incredulous) I don't think so.

Spike

Open up! I'm gonna kill you!

Buffy

Spike, there's nothing there.

Spike

Let me in! (Dejected) Fix me..

Buffy

Okay, drop the act..

Spike

Get off!

Buffy

Okay, that's it— I'm gonna gag you.

Spike

Hey! Watch it!

Buffy

One more word out of you, and I swear..

Spike

Swear, what? You're not gonna do anything to me. You don't got the stones.

Buffy

Oh, I got the stones. I got a whole bunch of .. stones.

Spike

Yeah? You're all talk.

Buffy

GILES! I accidentally killed Spike. That's okay, right?

Giles

Uh..uh..um.. Just a minute..

Willow

I mean, I'm going through something. You'd think every once in awhile Buffy would make best friends a priority.

Xander

You know, Will, it's not like she could just let Spike go.

Spike

(Sneering) I get this spell reversed, they'll be finding your body for weeks.

Buffy

Oh, make a move — please. I'm dying for a good slay.

Willow

Spike's more important than me. I get it.

Xander

Buffy's gotta find out what's up with those commandos. Right now she needs Spike.

Willow

Well, fine. Why doesn't so just go marry him?

Giles

If the two of you could remain civil long enough to—

Buffy

It's just so sudden. I don't know what to say.

Spike

Just say yes, and make me the happiest man on earth.

Buffy

Oh, Spike! Of course it's yes!

Buffy

Giles! You'll never believe what's happened!

Willow

It's just not fair.

Xander

Willow, I know it's hard to see it right now, but everything you're feeling is because of you and Oz. Not because of Buffy and me or anybody. But eventually you'll meet somebody else, and it'll be better.

Willow

Yeah, ‘cause most relationships are great and trouble-free. I don't think so. I think we're all doomed to badness.

Xander

We're not doomed.

Willow

Oh, yeah? Let's-let's look at your bio. Insect Lady, Mummy Girl, Anya.. You're a demon magnet.

Xander

I was just trying to help.

Giles

Willow, it's-it's me. Something's happened. I need your help. I can't see very well. Everything's blurred. (He grabs the scotch) I'm certain it's a spell of some kind, because.. well..it seems something else is going wrong..

Buffy

Here you go .. 98.6. (They kiss)

Giles

.. horribly wrong.

Buffy

There's so much to decide. Ceremony, guests, reception..

Spike

Well, first thing I'd say, we're not having a church wedding.

Buffy

How 'bout a daytime ceremony. In the park.

Spike

Fabulous. Enjoy your honeymoon with the big pile of dust.

Buffy

Under the trees. Indirect sunlight, only.

Spike

Warm breeze tosses the leaves aside, and again — you're registering as Mr and Mrs Big-Pile-of-Dust.

Buffy

Stop it! This is our wedding and you're treating it like a big joke!

Spike

Oh, pouty! Look at that lip.. gonna get it.. gonna get it..

Buffy

(Playfully) Oh.. stop..

Giles

Yes, please stop.

Buffy

Giles, did you see my ring?

Giles

Thankfully, not very well.

Buffy

I'm not crazy, and I know that you probably don't approve, and my father's not that far away, I mean, he could— but this day is about family — my real family — and I would like you to be the one to give me away.

Giles

(Touched) Oh, Buffy! That's.. that's so.. (Comes to his senses) Oh! For God's sake! This is nonsense. Something is making you act this way. Don't you realize what you're doing?

Buffy

Living a dream.

Giles

He's gonna have to take a bit of time to get used to it, pet.

Buffy

they all will. (She turns back to Giles) But you guys wern't crazy about Angel at first, either.

Spike

You wern't gonna say that name.

Buffy

Sorry. Why don't we talk about where we're going to register.

Spike

Well, where would Angel like to register? And can we have the photographer Angel would've wanted? And, flowers Angel would have liked?

Buffy

(Stands) Hey! You think I don't live with the shadow of Drusilla over my head? That I'm not wondering if you're going to be thinking of her on our honeymoon when you're making.. sweet love to me..?

Buffy

Giles are you okay?

Giles

I rather think not. I seem to be rather.. rather.. blind. Completely, in fact.

Buffy

What? How could this happen?

Giles

A spell, I believe.

Buffy

Well, we'll fix it. Don't worry.

Spike

What you want is a general reversal spell. Gonna need supplies.

Giles

Are you.. helping me?

Spike

Well, it's almost like you're my father-in-law, in'nt?

Buffy

See? This is how it's gonna be. Spike'll even take care of you while I'm at the magick shop.

Buffy

From now on, we're a family.

Giles

That's alright. I have more scotch.

Riley

Hey, Buffy. What's up?

Buffy

Riley, look — aren't they beautiful?

Riley

Um, yeah.. they're nice. A little dressy, maybe.. for school, but..

Buffy

Riley..

Riley

Buffy?

Buffy

I really like you. I hope you know that you mean a lot to me, and if things were different—

Riley

Different than what?

Buffy

I want you to promise me that we can always be friends, and I'd really like you to be there on "The Day".

Riley

The day when..

Buffy

The wedding!

Riley

The wedding. What wedding?

Buffy

My wedding! I'm getting married — can you believe it?

Riley

I don't think "no" is a strong enough word.

Buffy

I know! It's crazy! I mean, we fought for all these years, and then.. Sometimes you just look at someone, and you know.. You know?

Riley

No..

Buffy

I think maybe we fought because we couldn't admit how we really felt about eachother.

Riley

(Confused) Can we start again?

Buffy

You'll really like him. Well, nobody really likes him..

Riley

I just need to clear a few things up..

Buffy

I don't even really like him..

Riley

Buffy..

Buffy

But.. I love him. I do.

Riley

Who?

Buffy

What?

Riley

What's his name?

Buffy

Who?

Riley

The groom.

Buffy

Spike!

Riley

That's a name?

Buffy

Don't be mad.

Riley

I'm not mad!

Buffy

No, you are mad!

Riley

No, I am! Er.. I really.. Wow. Who is this guy? Does he go here?

Buffy

Spike? (Laughs) Oh, no.. He's totally old.

Riley

Old.

Buffy

Well, not as old as my last boyfriend was.

Riley

(Befuddled) Okay.. It's late.. and I'm, I'm very tired now. So, I'm just gonna go far away and be.. away.

But—

Riley

No, stay.

Buffy

You're ruining my happy day.

Xander

That's okay, mom — we don't need anymore snacks.

Anya

I liked those fruit roll-ups.

Xander

Shush, I thought she'd never clear out. Besides, just think of my lips as, the fruit roll-ups of love. (Pause) Okay, that was gross. I'm a little distracted. Willow was really upset. I shouldn't have let her go away mad.

Xander

Regaining focus.

Anya

We just got rid of your mom. Let's not bring Willow into this. It's time for just the two of us.

Anya

No, no, it's a Pargo demon! Drowning it's the only way to kill it!

Xander

What the hell is going on?!

Buffy

Duh dum, da-da.. Duh dum, da-da, duh dum da da dum da da dum da da..

Giles

So the plan is to cure my total, incapacitating blindness .. tomorrow.

Buffy

(Unconcerned) They were all out of Tagas Root at the magick shop. They'll have more tomorrow. I'm completely on top of it.

Buffy

Aren't they a perfect little us?

Spike

I don't like him. He's insipid. Clearly human.

Buffy

Oo, red paint. We could smear a little on his mouth — blood of the innocent..

Spike

That's my girl..

Giles

Stop that right now! I can hear the smacking.

Buffy

Honey, we need to talk about the invitations. Now, do you wanna be William the Bloody, or just Spike? ‘Cause, either way, it's gonna look majorly weird.

Spike

Where as the name Buffy gives it that touch of classic elegance.

Buffy

What's wrong with Buffy?

Giles

Huh.. such a good question.

Spike

(Ignoring Giles) Well, it's a terrible name.

Buffy

My mother gave me that name.

Spike

Your mother, yeah, she's a genius.

Buffy

Don't you start in on my mother.

Xander

Board up the windows, and barricade the doors.

Giles

What's going on?

Anya

Demons. They keep coming and coming.

Xander

I think we lost them, but I couldn't see. (Sees Spike) Spike! He's all untied! (Pause) Which you probably noticed..

Buffy

Xander, calm down, okay? If you lost them, that'll give us some time to figure this out. (To Spike) Maybe the demons have something to do with Giles being blind.

Anya

Giles is blind?

Giles

Please stop whatever you're doing. You smell like fruit roll-ups.

Spike

This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.

Buffy

(Hanging on Spike's arm) Spike's right. We really should get organized.

Anya

Why are you holding hands?

Spike

They have to hear it sooner or later..

Buffy

(Excitedly) Spike and I are getting married!

Xander

(Baffled) How? What? How?

Giles

Three excellent questions.

Spike

(To Buffy) What are you lookin' at?

Buffy

The man I love.

Xander

Can I be blind, too?

Xander

Wait.. married.. I know something.. what is it..? Everything's so familiar.. Work, brain — work! Oh! Oh oh! Willow!

Buffy

(Talking around the kissing) Mm..what about Will.. Mmm, honey, get off. (Pulls away from Spike)

Xander

Something about Willow and her griefy-poor-me mood swings — so, so tired of it.

Anya

You mean I don't have to be nice about her anymore?

Buffy

Well, we're all tired of it, but what does it have to do with what's going on?

Xander

She told me I was a demon magnet, a-and you two should get married. (Gestures to Spike and Buffy)

Giles

(Coming to realization) And.. that I didn't see anything.

Buffy

She did a spell.

Giles

Yes.. to have her will done. Whatever she says is coming true.

Buffy

And you both were effected. I probably only escaped because I'm the Slayer. Some kind of natural immunity.

Xander

Yeah. Right. You're marrying Spike because you're so right for eachother.

Buffy

Xander.

Spike

That's it — you're off the usher list.

Giles

People, Willow is out there and she probably doesn't know what she's doing.

Xander

We gotta find her.

Buffy

Before somebody gets really hurt.

Xander

Why does he have to come? (Indicating Spike)

Buffy

Xander, Spike is going to be my husband. I want him included.

Spike

I agree with Xander here. Seems like a lot of work for people who hunt us.

Buffy

Spike, these are my friends. Besides, it's kinda my job.

Spike

(Pats her hand) For now.

Buffy

What? You want me to stop working?

Spike

Let's see — do I want you to give up killing all my friends? Yeah, I've given it some thought.

Buffy

This is burned.

Anya

Ta'hoffren. Bastard, he's opened a portal here.

Buffy

Who?

Spike

Oh, fluffy.

Spike

Wear this to the rehearsal dinner and the whole thing's off.

Buffy

Shut-up, honey.

Anya

Ta'hoffren. He made me a demon 1120 years ago.

Buffy

Why would he attack Willow?

Anya

I don't believe he did.

You have much anger and pain. Your magic is strong, but your pain — it's like a scream that pierces dimensional walls. We heard your call.

Willow

I-I'm sorry. I'll try for a quiet rage. Bye.

Our intention is not to quash your potential — quite the contrary.

Anya

I'd been dumped, I was miserable, doing a few vengeance spells — boils on the penis, nothing fancy.

Xander

Please skip ahead.

Anya

Ta'hoffren got wind of me, he offered to elevate me.

Buffy

Meaning?

Anya

He made me a demon.

Buffy

Oh God, Willow. But, you can summon this guy from this crypt, right? You can make him stop .. oh my God! Wouldn't this be a perfect place for pictures?

Spike

I'm not posing for chattal.

Xander

Hey.. demon.

Buffy

Okay, listen — now we're gonna do this without ruining the foliage.

Buffy

Let's go!

Anya

Blesséd be, the name of Ta'hoffren. Let this space be now a gateway to the world of Arash Ma'har, where demons are spawned.

The pain and suffering you brought upon those you love is inspiring. You are ready to join us here in Arash Ma'har.

Willow

Pain.. What pain?

Spike

Buffy!

Xander

Not doin' well here.

Anya

(Still chanting) We come in supplication. We bend as the reed.. in the flow of the, uh.. No, wait.. we-we come in the flow of the, uh.. Ugh! (Takes a deep breath) Blesséd be, the name of Ta'hoffren..

Spike

They're strong, and I can't fight. If they get in, I don't know if I can protect you.

Buffy

You think you have to protect me?

Spike

Oh, not with the Girl-Power bit!

Willow

Oh, God. But I didn't mean to!

But you did. This is the result of your power. You will make a fine vengeance demon.

Willow

No, please! You have to help them!

It is not my concern. You are my interest in this matter.

Willow

Really.. no offense intended.. I mean, you've been super-nice and everything, but.. I don't want to be a demon. I just wanna go back and help my friends.

That is your answer?

Willow

It-it is.

Buffy

Oh, Spike.. are you okay?

Spike

Slayer..

Willow

Let the healing power begin. Let my will be safe again. As these words of peace are spoken, let this harmful spell be broken.

Buffy

Oh, ugh..

Spike

Oh, bloody hell!

Buffy

Spike lips! Lips of Spike!

Willow

Hi, guys.

Anya

How long are you going to keep making these?

Willow

Oh, until I don't feel so horribly guilty. I figure about a million chips from now. Also, I have to detail Giles' car.

Xander

Time.

Giles

A-ha.. Five past two. Thursday.

Willow

(To Giles) Look, cookies. A very not-evil thing I did. Oatmeal?

Giles

Yes, very funny, they're chocolate chip. I can see them. I still need my glasses, though. You could be more specific and give me 20/20.

Willow

Eat a cookie; ease my pain?

Buffy

(Takes one, taking a bite) Mm. Better?

Willow

Well, baking lifts about 30% of my guilt, but only 7% of my inner turmoil. Guess that'll just take awhile.

Buffy

It'll happen.

Spike

Don't I get a cookie?

Buffy

No.

Spike

Well, I gotta have something. I still have Buffy taste in my mouth.

Buffy

You're a pig, Spike.

Spike

Yeah.. well I'm not the one who wanted, "Wind Beneath My Wings" for the first dance.

Buffy

That was the spell.

Willow

Did I mention about the sorry part?

Buffy

We may be into a forgetting spell later. (Astonished) I loved him. He were betrothed. (She makes a face)

Willow

Well, at-at least you were getting along.

Buffy

But we wern't. I mean, I wasn't even nice. And the bad-boy thing — over it. Okay, I totally get it. I'd be really happy to be in a nice relationship with a decent, reliable.. Oh my God! Riley thinks I'm engaged.

Willow

What?

Buffy

Riley. He-he-he saw me. What the hell am I going to say?!

Buffy

You thought I was serious?

Riley

Well, no.. um.. you wern't serious?

Buffy

Oh, God.. please. I marry a guy named Spike?

Riley

Maybe. We haven't known eachother that long.

Buffy

No, it's just.. I saw that fear in your eyes when you caught me looking at wedding dresses, and I had to give you a hard time.

Riley

I did not have fear in my eyes.

Buffy

Yes you did. You were looking at me like I was a cartoon ball and chain.

Riley

So you decided to tell me you're getting married.

Buffy

Uh-huh.

Riley

So, you're insane.

Buffy

Uh-huh!

Riley

But you're still single.

Buffy

Yes.

Riley

Okay, then. Just another little piece of the Buffy puzzle.

Buffy

You really have a lot to learn about women, Riley.

Riley

You're gonna teach me.