Das Ritual

Buffy

(out of breath) Okay, one more time. You're the who?!

I'm de Slayer.

Buffy

Nice cover story. But here's a tip: you might wanna try it on someone who's not the real Slayer.

Ya can't stop me! Even if ya kill me, anodder Slayer will be sent to take me place.

Buffy

Could you stop with the Slayer thing? I'm the damn Slayer!

Nonsense! Dere is but one, and I am she.

Buffy

Okay, (sniffs) a scenario. (holds up her hand) You back off, I'll back off, but you promise not to go all wiggy until we can go to my Watcher and figure this out.

Wiggy?

Buffy

You know. No kick-o, no fight-o? Kendra considers the offer a moment, then relaxes her stance and crosses her arms.

I accept your scenario.

Buffy

So. You were sent here?

Yes, by my Watcher.

Buffy

To do what, exactly?

To do my duty. I am here to kill vampires. Cut to the back room at Willy's bar. The camera pans from the window over to the cage. The sunlight has advanced past the cage door and is only about three feet from the far wall. Angel is crouched in the far corner, cowering and afraid. He looks up at the light coming through the window. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Kendra stands at attention as Giles paces. Buffy just leans on a chair with her left hand and has her right hand on her hip.

Giles

And your Watcher is, i-is Sam Zabuto, you say?

Yes, sir.

Giles

We've never met, but he, he's, he's very well-respected.

Buffy

What, so he's a real guy? As in non-fictional?

Giles

And you are called...?

I am de Vampire Slayer.

Buffy

We got that part, hon. He means your name.

Oh. Dey call me Kendra. I have no last name, sir.

Buffy

(haughty) Can you say 'stuck in the 80's'?

Giles

Buffy, please. Uh, there's obviously some, some misunderstanding here. Willow comes bouncing into the library with a smile on her face. Kendra marches around Buffy to intercept her.

Willow

(greets them) Hey!

Identify yourself! Willow is taken aback and her smile fades to a frown.

Buffy

Back off, pink ranger! This is my friend.

Friend?

Buffy

Yeah. As in person you hang with? Amigo?

I don't understand.

Buffy

(to Giles, exasperated) You try. I'm tapped. (sits) Giles: Uh-uh, Kendra, uh, there are a-a-a few people, uh, ci-civilians if you like, who, who know Buffy's identity. Willow is one of them, a-a- and they also, um, spend time together, uh, socially.

And you allow dis, sir?

Giles

Well, uh...

But de Slayer must work in secret for security.

Giles

Of course, uh, but, uh, with Buffy, however, it-it's, um, some flexibility is required. Buffy gives Giles a look.

Why?

Willow

(confused) Hi, guys. W-what's goin' on? (goes to sit across from Buffy) Buffy: Apparently there's been a really big mix-up.

Giles

Uh, it seems somehow that, uh, another Slayer has been sent to Sunnydale.

Willow

Is that even possible? I mean, two Slayers at the same time?

Giles

Not to my knowledge. Um, th-the new Slayer is only called after the previous Slayer has died. Uh... (realizes) Oh, good Lord! You were dead, Buffy.

Buffy

I was only gone for a minute.

Giles

Clearly it doesn't matter how long you were gone. You were physically dead! Thus causing the activation of the, the next Slayer. (nods toward Kendra) Kendra: She died?

Buffy

Just a little.

Giles

She drowned, but she was revived.

Willow

So there really are two of them!

Giles

It would seem so. This is completely unprecedented! I'm quite flummoxed. (sits) Buffy: What's the flum? It's a mistake, she isn't supposed to be here, she goes home! (to Kendra) Look, no offense, I really don't mean this personally, but I'm not dead, and frankly having you around creeps me out just a little bit.

I cannot just leave. I was sent here for a reason. Mr. Zabuto said all de signs indicate dat a very dark power is about to rise in Sunnydale.

Buffy

(gets up) And what's your great plan for finding this dark power? You just gonna attack people randomly till you find a bad one?

Of course not.

Buffy

Then why the hell did you attack me?

I tought you were a vampire.

Buffy

Oh, a swing and a miss for the rookie. (walks around Kendra to Willow) Kendra: I had good reason to tink you were. Did I not see you kissing a vampire?

Willow

(stands up in her defense) Buffy would never do that! (realizes) Oh. (to Buffy) Except for that sometimes you do that. (to Kendra) But only with Angel. (to Buffy) Right? (sits again) Buffy: Yes! Right. (to Kendra) Look, you saw me with Angel, and he is a vampire, but he's good.

Angel? You mean Angelus? I've read about him. He is a monster.

Giles

No, no, no, he's, he's good now.

Willow

(smiles) Really!

Buffy

He had a gypsy curse.

He has a what?

Buffy

Y'know what, just trust me on this one, okay? He's on the home team now.

I cannot believe you. He looked to me just like anodder animal when I...

Buffy

When you what? (confronts her) What did you do to him?

I...

Buffy

What did you do?! Cut to the back room of Willy's bar. Angel leans against the back wall, weakened by the ambient light. Willy comes in and looks at him. He opens the cage door and walks in. He uses his body to shade Angel from the direct sunlight and drags him out of the cage and into another storage room. There he opens a hatch in the floor to the sewers below and drops Angel down into the shallow water. Angel is too weak to get up on his own. Willy lowers himself through the hatch and drops to the water, too. He's unhappy about the fact that his shoes have just been ruined. Spike walks into the light from the shadows.

There you go, friend. He'll be as good as new in a day or so. Two of Spike's thugs arrive to drag Angel away. Willy holds up his hands to stop them.

Spike

(pulls out a wad of cash) What's the matter, Willy? Don't you trust me? (starts handing him bills) Willy: Oh, yeah. Like a brother. Spike slaps him across the cheek.

Wild horses couldn't drag it. Spike holds up the last bill, crumbles it and drops it into the water.

Spike

Oops! Sorry, friend. Willy bends over to pick up the bill as the two thugs grab Angel and drag him off.

What are you gonna do with him anyway?

Spike

I'm thinkin' maybe dinner and a movie. I don't want to rush into anything. I've been hurt, you know. He follows his goons down the sewer. Willy counts his money again. Cut to Buffy's house. Cut to the foyer. Norman's case is open and Cordelia is going through the samples.

Cordelia

Do you have anything in raisin? I know you wouldn't think so, but I'm both a winter and a summer.

Nine ninety-nine, tax included.

Cordelia

You said that already. Do you have anything in the berry family?

Are there more ladies in the house?

Cordelia

Oh, no, they're not home. (faces him) You know, nothing personal, but maybe you should look into selling dictionaries, or... some... She sees a mealworm crawl out of his sleeve and onto his hand. Xander comes back down the stairs and sees Norman. Cordelia slowly backs away from him.

Xander

Hey, what's up?

Cordelia

Um, he's a salesman, and he was just leaving, right? Uh, okay! Buh-bye! Thank you!

Xander

(reaches up to guide him out) Okay, Mary Kay, time to... Another mealworm crawls across Norman's cheek and into his right ear. Xander backs away.

Cordelia

Uhh... (finds a roll of duct tape) Here! I don't do worms. He gives her an exasperated look, grabs the roll from her and shoves the broom into her hands.

Xander

Cover me! She sweeps at the mealworms while he pulls a length of tape off of the roll and sticks it to the bottom of the door.

Cordelia

Eww! Eh! Eh! Cut to the back room of Willy's bar. Buffy barges through the door.

Buffy

Angel?! Kendra walks into the cage where she left him and looks around.

No ashes.

Buffy

What?

When a vampire combusts, he leaves ashes.

Buffy

Yeah, I know the drill.

So I did not kill him.

Buffy

And I don't need to kill *you*. Willy shows up at the door.

Whoa! There's a lotta tension in this room. Kendra attacks him and pushes him out of the back room and onto the floor.

Buffy

Doesn't anyone just say 'hello' where you come from? Kendra turns Willy over on the floor and grabs him by the shirt, ready to punch.

Dis one is dirty! I can *feel* it!

Buffy

That's really good for you, Percepto Girl, (lifts him up) but we're not gonna get anything out of him if he's, oh, say, (slams him into the bar) unconscious. (to Willy) Where's Angel?

My buddy Angel? You think I'd let him fry? I saved him in the nick! He was about five minutes away from being a crispy critter.

Buffy

Where'd he go?

Uh, he said he was gonna stay underground. You know, recuperate.

Buffy

Are you telling me the truth?

I swear on my mother's grave! Should something fatal happen to her, God forbid.

Den he is alright. We can return to your Watcher for our orders.

Buffy

(lets go of Willy) I don't take orders. I do things my way.

No wonder you died.

Buffy

(ignores the comment) Let's go. They start to leave. Willy steps away from the bar.

I, I have to ask. (the girls looks back) Has either of you girls considered modeling? I have a friend with a camera? Strictly high-class nude work. You know, art photographs. But naked. Buffy and Kendra exchange a look and just walk out without a word.

(moans) I was dreaming.

Spike

Of what, pet?

We were in Paris. You had a branding iron.

Spike

I brought you something. He goes over to the stairs and picks Angel up from the landing.

And there were worms in my baguette.

Spike

(drags Angel in) Your sire, my sweet. (dumps him on the floor) Drusilla: My Angel?

Forever. They kiss passionately. Angel watches from the floor, all tied up and gagged. He strains against his bonds. They break off their kiss.

Spike

(smiles) Alright, you can play, but don't kill him. He mustn't die till the ritual.

Bring him to me. Spike picks Angel up from the floor and forces him over to Drusilla. She grabs him by the chin and looks him in the eye.

Giles

Kendra, I-I've, uh, conferred with your Watcher, Mr. Zabuto, and, uh, we both agree that, uh, until this matter with Spike and Drusilla has been resolved that you two should work together.

Buffy

Oh, that'll be a treat.

So, you believe dat Spike is attempting to revive dis Drusilla to health?

Giles

Yes, well, I-I-I-I think that's the, uh, the dark power that your, your Watcher re-referred to. You see, uh, you see Drusilla's not only evil, she's, uh, well, she's also quite mad, and-and-and-and if she's restored to her full health, then, uh, well, there's no, absolutely no telling what she might do.

Den we will stop Spike.

Buffy

Ooo, good plan, let's go, charge!

Giles

Buffy...

Buffy

It's a little more complicated than that, John Wayne.

Giles

Yes, I'm, I'm afraid it is. You see, Spike has also called out the Order of Taraka to keep Buffy out of the way.

De assassins? I read of dem in de writings of Dramius.

Giles

Oh, really? W-w-which volume? They exit the hall and walk along the colonnade.

I believe it was six, sir.

Buffy

Um, how do you know all this?

From me studies.

Buffy

So, obviously you have a lot of free time.

I study because it is required. (Giles smiles) The Slayer handbook insists on it.

Willow

There's a Slayer handbook?

Buffy

Wait. Handbook? What handbook? How come I don't have a handbook?

Willow

Is there a T-shirt, too? (gets a look from Buffy) 'Cause that would be cool... (rolls her eyes) Giles: After meeting you, Buffy, I realized that, uh, the handbook would be of no use in your case.

Buffy

Well, what do you mean it would be of no use in my case? Wha- what's wrong with my case?

Giles

Uh, Kendra, um, perhaps you'd like to show me the, the part in, uh, Dramius Six where, uh, uh, where it refers to the Order of Taraka. Really, I-I, I seem to have never been able to get through that book. It was a bit stodgy.

(smiles) It was difficult. All dose footnotes. Giles and Kendra laugh out loud.

Buffy

(to Willow) Hello, and welcome to planet pocket protector.

Giles

Oh, well, B-Buffy, Principal Snyder was snooping round after you.

Buffy

(stops) Eee. Career fair.

Giles

Best make an appearance, I think.

Buffy

Right.

Buffy's a student here?

Giles

Yes.

Riiight, of course. And I imagine she's a cheerleader as well.

Giles

Oh, no, well, a-a-actually she had to give up her cheerleading. (gets a look from Kendra) Uh, it was quite an amusing story, actually. Uh, uh, let's go and find the book, shall we? The two of them head off to the library. Buffy and Willow continue their walk.

Buffy

Get a load of the she-Giles.

Willow

Creepy.

Buffy

Ew. I'll bet Giles wishes I was more of a book geek.

Willow

Giles is enough of a book geek for the both of you.

Buffy

Yeah, but did you see how they were vibing? (mocks them) Volume six, ha, ha, ha!

Willow

Buffy, no one could replace you. You'll always be Giles' favorite.

Buffy

I wonder.

Willow

Of course, you will. You're *his* Slayer. The *real* Slayer.

Buffy

No. I wonder if it would be so bad, being replaced.

Willow

You mean, like, letting Kendra take over?

Buffy

Maybe. I mean, maybe after this thing with Spike and the assassins is over, I could say, 'Kendra, you slay, I'm going to Disneyland.' Willow: But not forever, right?

Xander

Could you sit down, or change your pattern or something? You're making me queasy.

Cordelia

(leans on the washer) Because you're just sitting there. You should be thinking up a *plan*.

Xander

I have a plan. We wait. Buffy saves us.

Cordelia

How will she even know where to find us?

Xander

Cordelia, this is Buffy's house. Odds are she'll find us.

Cordelia

Well, what if she doesn't? What am I supposed to do? Just waste away down here with you? Haw, haw, no thank you! (makes tracks for the stairs) Xander: (gets up to stop her) What are you doin'?

Xander

That's brilliant! What if he isn't?

Cordelia

Oh, right! You think we should just slack here and hope that somebody else *decides* to be a hero? (goes back to the washer) Sorry, forgot I was stranded with a LOSER! (leans and crosses her arms) Xander: And yet I never forgot that I'm stuck with the numb-brain that let Mr. Mutant in the house in the FIRST PLACE!

Xander

What, is he supposed to have an arrow with the word 'assassin' over his head?! All it took was the prospect of a free makeover, and you licked his hand like a big, dumb dog!

Cordelia

You know what? (heads for the stairs again) I'm going. Xander just raises his eyebrows, ready to let her go. She stops at the foot of the stairs and faces him again.

Xander

Then go! I'm not stopping ya!

Cordelia

I bet you wouldn't! I bet you'd let a girl go off to her doom all by herself!

Xander

Not just any girl. (nods) You're special.

Cordelia

I can't believe that I'm stuck spending what will probably be my last few moments on Earth here WITH YOU!

Xander

I *hope* these are my last few moments! Three more seconds with you, and I'm gonna... (steps closer) Cordelia: (steps closer) I'm gonna what? Coward!

Cordelia

I *hate* you!

Xander

I HATE YOU! They look at each other for another second before grabbing each other and engaging in a mad, passionate kiss. It goes on for several seconds before they suddenly release each other and look at each other in surprise.

Cordelia

(nods) Mm-hm! She rushes up the stairs with Xander right behind. They stop at the top, crouch down and give each other anxious looks. Xander grabs one end of the tape and pulls it off. There aren't any worms on the other side. Xander moves the broom aside and opens the door slowly. They both look out into the hall for any sign of the mealworms.

Buffy

My tests say that I should look into law enforcement -- duh! -- and environmental design.

Willow

Environmental design. That's landscaping, right?

Buffy

I checked the 'shrub' box. But landscaping was yesterday, so law enforcement it is. They stop near the steps to the couches in the lounge. Buffy looks around and notices Oz looking over at Willow.

Willow

(looks with her eyes) Oh, that's Oz. He's expressing computer nerd solidarity. Oz gets up and starts to walk over.

Buffy

Really? Then why is he on his way over here right now? Willow is surprised when she sees him coming.

Willow

(smiles) Hey! (notices) Your hair! Is brown!

Oz

Oh, yeah, sometimes. So, uh, did you decide? Are you gonna be a Corporate Computer Suit Guy?

Willow

Oh. Uh, well, I-I think I'm gonna finish high school first. What about you?

Oz

I'm not really a computer person, you know. Or a work of any kind person.

Willow

They why'd they select you?

Oz

Oh, I sorta test well. Y'know, which is cool. E-except that it leads to jobs.

Willow

Well, don't you have some ambition?

Oz

Oh, yeah! Yeah. E-flat, diminished ninth.

Willow

Huh?

Oz

Well, the E-flat, it's, it's doable, but that diminished ninth, y'know, it's a man's chord. Now, you could lose a finger. Willow nods, pretending to understand. Cut to Buffy. She signs up at the law enforcement table and joins the group. Patrice, the recruitment officer, picks up the clipboard and looks it over.

Alright, listen up, and answer when I call your name. Buffy Summers. Buffy raises her hand. Patrice calmly puts the clipboard back down. Quickly she draws her gun and aims it at Buffy. Buffy reacts in a flash and pushes the recruiter's hands and weapon up into the air as the first round goes off. Panic sets in throughout the hall, and people start to run and duck for cover. Buffy keeps struggling with the officer, and another round goes into the ceiling. She knees her in the gut, and she drops the gun and falls to the floor. Buffy starts to run as Patrice gets to her knees and pulls out her backup gun. Another bullet flies at Buffy as she dives over a table. She stands up again and looks around at everyone.

Buffy

GET DOWN! She starts to run again, right past Oz and Willow. Patrice follows Buffy with her aim.

Oz

LOOK OUT! He lunges for Willow and pulls her to the floor with him, but takes the next bullet meant for Buffy in the arm. Patrice keeps following Buffy with her gun and shoots off the cranium of a skeleton. Buffy has disappeared down the hall, and the police recruiter carefully makes her way to the wall to peek around it down the hall. She doesn't see her, but senses that she's there, and decides to go to the other end of the wall to come around the other side. The camera pans to the other side where Buffy is leaning against the wall, breathing hard and waiting for Patrice to make her next move. When she is about to come around the other corner, Buffy leaps over a table and tackles her to the floor. She drops her backup gun and it slides away. Buffy gets to her feet and adopts a fighting stance. Patrice gets back to her knees, pulls out her small ankle backup and aims it at Buffy as she stands back up. Before she can get off a round Kendra kicks the gun out of her hands. She follows it up with a kick to Patrice's face, making her fall flat on her back. She makes her stand next to Buffy. Patrice grabs Jonathon as a hostage, pulls out a short blade and threatens him with it. The two girls watch her slowly back toward the door at the end of the hall with the boy in tow. Halfway there she drops Jonathon and makes a dash for the door. Kendra doesn't hesitate to give chase. Buffy rushes over to Oz and Willow and kneels down next to them. Oz is holding his arm.

Buffy

How is he?

Willow

He's shot! (to Oz) Are you okay?

Oz

I, uh, I'm shot! (takes his hand away briefly and chuckles) Y'know. (laughs) Wow! It's odd! And painful. Buffy gets up again when Kendra shows back up.

She's gone.

W-was that a demonstration? Buffy looks around at the scene. Cut to the library. Giles has the first-aid kit out, and Willow is wrapping Buffy's knee.

Buffy

She was definitely one of the Taraka gang, Giles, and way gun happy.

Giles

This, um, Oz chap, he, he, he's alright?

Willow

The paramedic said it was only a scrape. Thank goodness. Cordelia and Xander walk into the library. Kendra tries to head them off.

Buffy

Down, girl!

Xander

Who sponsored career day today? The British Soccer Fan Association?

Giles

(on his way to the table) We had a, a rather violent visit from the Order of Taraka.

Xander

You wanna talk Order of Taraka? We just met the king *freak* of the... (sees Kendra) Hello. Kendra looks at the floor, humbling herself before Xander.

Giles

Oh, forgive me. Uh, Xander, Cordelia, this is Kendra. Uh, i-it's rather complicated, but she's also a Slayer.

Cordelia

(heads for the table) Hi. Nice to meet you.

Xander

A Slayer, huh? (to Buffy) I knew this 'I'm the only one, I'm the only one' thing was just an attention-getter.

Buffy

(hops off of the counter) Just say hello, Xander. (makes for the table with Willow) Xander: Welcome. So! You're a Slayer, huh? I like that in a woman.

(nervous) Uh... I hope... I tank you... I mean, sir, um... I will be of service.

Xander

(looks at the others) Great! (to Kendra) Good. It's good to be a giver. (goes to the table) Giles: Xander, um, this, this, uh, assassin you encountered, what, uh, what did he look like? Cordelia finds a mealworm in her hair and freaks out. She drops it onto a book on the table and gets up.

Cordelia

Uhh! Uhh! Ohmigod, I'm showering! (runs from the library) Xander: (indicates the mealworm) Like that.

Buffy

You and bug people, Xander. What's up with that?

Xander

No, but this dude was completely different than praying mantis lady. He was a man *of* bugs, not a man who *was* a bug. He slams the biology book shut on the mealworm to kill it and sits down.

Giles

The, uh, the-the-the important thing is everybody's alright. Still, it's quite apparent that we're under serious attack.

Buffy

These Taraka are definitely serious. (looks at Kendra) Fortunately for me, so is Kendra.

Giles

And, uh, I fear the worst is still to come. I've, I-I've discovered the remaining keys to Drusilla's cure. The, uh, the ritual requires that, the presence of her sire, and it must take place in a church on the night of the new moon. Buffy suddenly looks very concerned.

The new moon. But that is tonight.

Giles

Exactly. And I-I'm sure the assassins were here to kill Buffy before she could put a stop to things.

Buffy

They need Drusilla's sire. You mean the vamp that made her?

Giles

Yes.

Willow

Buffy, what is it?

Buffy

(looks down) Angel. He's Drusilla's sire.

Xander

Man, that guy got major neck in his day! Willow slaps him hard on the shoulder.

Buffy

Will this ritual kill him?

Giles

Yes, I'm afraid it will.

Buffy

We need to find this church. We need to find where this ritual is gonna take place!

Giles

Agreed, and we must work quickly. (checks his watch) We have five hours before sundown.

Willow

(opens her laptop) Don't worry, Buffy, we'll save Angel.

Angel? But our priority is to stop Drusilla!

Xander

Angel's our friend! Except I don't like him.

Buffy

Look, you've got your priorities, and I've got mine. Right now they mesh. So, are you gonna help me, or are you gonna get out of my way?

(considers) I'm wit you.

Buffy

Good. 'Cause I've had it. Spike is going down. You can attack me, you can send assassins after me, that's fine. But nobody messes with my boyfriend! ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ Drusilla's room. She runs her hand across the lid of an elegant wooden box labeled 'Holy Water'. She sings quietly as she lifts the lid and takes out a small crystal pitcher.

The lamb is caught in the blackberry patch. (approaches Angel) My mummy ate lemons. Raw. She kneels next to him. Angel is tied to the posts of her canopy bed by both wrists high above his head.

Angel

Dru...

(sternly) Shhh! (stands up) And pomegranates. (climbs onto the bed behind Angel) They used to make her face and fingers aaall red. She reaches over his shoulder and lets more holy water dribble onto his chest. Again Angel grits his teeth in pain, but won't let himself scream out loud.

Angel

(shivering in pain) If I could...

(interrupts angrily) Bite your tongue! They used to eat cake, and eggs, and honey. (sweetly) Until you came and ripped their throats out. She pours the rest of the holy water onto his chest, and Angel screams out loud in agony. Cut to the library. Giles comes out of the stacks and heads toward the stairs with a large volume full of pictures. Willow is sitting on the steps websurfing on her laptop. He looks down at her screen and sits down next to her.

Giles

There are forty-three churches in Sunnydale? (pulls out a roll of mints) That seems a little excessive. (tears off some wrapping) Willow: It's the extra evil vibe from the Hellmouth. Makes people pray harder. Giles offers her a mint, and she smiles and takes one. He gets back up and continues over to Xander and Cordelia at the table.

Xander

Yeah, yeah, we got monsters, we got demons, but no bug dude or police lady. Giles sets the volume down in front of them and opens it.

Giles

Well, you should have better luck with this one. There's a whole section devoted to the Order of Taraka. Cut to Giles' office. Kendra looks through the window at them doing their research. Buffy is sharpening a knife.

And dose two, dey also know you are de Slayer?

Buffy

Yep.

Did anyone explain to you what 'secret identity' means? (goes to the desk) Buffy: Nope. Must be in the handbook. (Kendra picks up the crossbow) Right after the chapter on personality removal. Be careful with that thing!

Giles

Is everything alright?

Buffy

Yeah, it's okay. Kendra killed the bad lamp.

Sorry! Dis, uh, trigger mechanism is different. (sets the bow down) Perhaps when dis is over you can, uh, show me how to work it.

Buffy

When this is over I'm thinking pineapple pizza and teen video movie fest. Possibly something from the Ringwald oeuvre. Cut to the main room. Xander turns the page and finds a drawing of the bug dude.

Xander

Oh, here we go! I am the bug man, coo coo ka choo. Giles and Willow come over to have a look. Xander reads in another book.

Cordelia

I know what it means, *dorkhead*.

Xander

(takes mock offense) Dorkhead! You slash me with your words! Giles rubs his eyes. Willow raises her eyebrows at them. Cut to the office. Kendra is handling a stake.

Your life is very different dan mine.

Buffy

You mean the part where I occasionally have one? Yeah, I guess it is. (carves at a stake) Kendra: De tings you do and have, I was taught, distract from my calling. Friends, school... even family.

My parents, dey sent me to my Watcher when I was very young.

Buffy

How young?

I don't remember dem, actually. I've seen pictures. But, uh, dat's how seriously de calling is taken by my people. My modder and fadder gave me to my Watcher because dey believed dat dey were doing de right ting for me, and for de world. (puts down the stake and gets a sympathetic look from Buffy) Please, I don't feel sorry for meself. Why should you?

Buffy

I don't know, I... I guess it just sounds very lonely.

Emotions are weakness, Buffy. You shouldn't entertain dem.

Buffy

Kendra, my emotions give me power. They're total assets!

(picks up her knife) Maybe. For you. But I prefer to keep an even mind. (wipes the blade) Buffy: (puts down her knife) Mm. I guess that explains it.

Buffy

(plays with the stake) Oh, well, when we were fighting, uh, you're amazing! Your technique, it's flawless, it's, hmm, better than mine.

I know.

Buffy

Still, I woulda kicked your butt in the end. And ya know why? No imagination.

(rubs her blade more vigorously) Really? Ya tink so? (puts down the rag) Buffy: Oh, I know so. You're good, but power alone isn't enough. A good fighter needs to know how to improvise, to go with the flow. Uh-uh, seriously, don't get me wrong, y-you really do have potential. (puts away the stake) Kendra: (holds her knife ready) Potential? I could wipe de floor wit you right now!

Buffy

(looks Kendra in the eye) That would be anger you're feeling.

What?

Buffy

You feel it, right? How the anger gives you fire? A Slayer needs that. They both look over at Xander as he walks into the office.

Xander

Excuse me, ladies. Kendra looks down at the floor while he grabs a book from the desk. Xander notices her knife.

I'm not permitted to speak with boys.

Buffy

Unless you're pummeling them. (has a realization) Wait a minute.

What?

Buffy

That guy! The sleazoid you nearly decked in the bar.

You tink he might help us?

Buffy

I tink we might make him! Cut to Drusilla's room. She is kneeling between Angel's spread-apart legs and holds the little pitcher of holy water above him.

Say 'Uncle'. (lowers the pitcher) Oh, that's right, you killed my uncle. She is about to pour some onto his chest again when Spike comes in.

Spike

That's it, then. (Drusilla looks up at him) Off to church.

(stands up) It makes pretty colors.

Spike

Pft! I'll see him die soon enough. I've never been much for the pre-show. He reaches up to untie one of Angel's bonds while Drusilla puts away the holy water and gets Miss Edith.

Angel

Too bad. That's what Drusilla likes best, as I recall.

Spike

What's that supposed to mean? (steps over to the other bond) Angel: Ask her. She knows what I mean. Drusilla has come back to stand behind Spike's shoulder, and he turns his head to face her.

(to Angel) Shhh! Grrrruff! Bad dog.

Angel

You shoulda let me talk to him, Dru. Sounds like your boy could use some pointers. She likes to be teased. Spike has finished untying the other bond and throws it to the floor.

Spike

Keep your hole shut! (stands over him) Angel: Take care of her, Spike. The way she touched me just now? I can tell when she's not satisfied.

Angel

Or maybe you two just don't have the fire we had.

Spike

That's enough. He pounds his other hand into the wooden railing of Drusilla's bed, grabs the piece that broke off and holds it up to stake Angel.

Spike, no! Spike holds back. Angel tries to goad him on with a stare. Drusilla steps over to Spike and gently puts her arm on his shoulder and snuggles up to him.

Spike

Oh! Right. Right, you almost got me! Aren't you a 'throw himself to the lions' sort of sap these days. Well, the lions are on to you, baby. See, if I kill you now you go quick, and Dru hasn't got a chance. And if Dru dies your little Rebecca of Sunnyhell Farm and all her mates are spared her coming-out party. (squeezes Angel's throat) Drusilla: Spike, the moon is rising. It's time.

Ah! Honest! I don't know where Angel is!

Buffy

What about this ritual? What have you heard?

N-nothing! I-it's all hush-hush!

Just hit him, Buffy!

Buffy

(to Willy) She likes to hit.

You know, m-maybe I did hear something about this ritual. Yeah, i-i... I-it's coming back to me. But, uh, I'd have to take you there.

Buffy

Let's go. (starts to drag him out of the bar) Kendra: First we must return to de Watcher.

But it is procedure.

Buffy

It's brainless, you mean! If we don't go now, Angel could die. (starts out again) Kendra: Is dat all you're worried about? Your boyfriend?

It's as I feared. He clouds your judgment. We can't stop dis ritual alone!

Buffy

Are you listening to me? He could die!

He's a vampire. He *should* die. Why am I de only person who sees it? Buffy just stares at her a moment before turning around again and heading for the door with Willy in tow.

Here ya go. Don't ever say your friend Willy don't come through in a pinch. They round a corner, and Patrice and a vampire are waiting there for them.

Spike

Eligor. I name thee. Bringer of war, poisoners, pariahs, grand obscenity. He turns back to the altar. Angel and Drusilla are both strapped together to a chain that hangs from the ceiling. Angel's right hand is tied to the chain above his head.

Black medicine. Spike sets the censer down on the altar and picks up the Du Lac Cross with his gloved hand.

Spike

Come. (holds up the cross upside-down) Restore your most impious, murderous child.

Murderous child. He grabs the downward-pointing tip of the cross with his other hand and yanks down, pulling out a dagger. He lays the rest of the cross back on the altar.

Spike

From the blood of the sire she is risen. He takes Drusilla's left hand and raises it to Angel's, and she clasps it.

It's payday, pal. I got your Slayer. Spike strides up the aisle to meet him.

Spike

(angry) Are you tripping?! You bring her here?! Now?!

You said you wanted her. Buffy sees Angel and Drusilla tied together at the altar.

Spike

In the ground, pinhead! I wanted her dead.

Now, that's not what I heard. Word was there was a bounty on her dead or alive.

Spike

You heard wrong, Willy.

Buffy

(whispers) Angel.

Spike

Yeah. (steps over to Buffy) It bugs me, too, seeing him like that. Another five minutes, though, and Angel will be dead, so... I forebear. Don't feel too bad for Angel, though, he's got something you don't have.

Buffy

(angry) What's that?

Spike

Five minutes. Patrice! She lets go of Buffy and draws her gun. Buffy struggles to get loose from the vampire holding her. The other door suddenly bursts open, and Kendra comes in doing a series of backflips, ending in a flying double kick, one foot to the back of each of the vampire's heads. They fall to the floor, pushing Buffy into Spike and knocking him down. Kendra lands on her feet, ready to fight. She wastes no time running over to Spike as he gets up, meeting Buffy there to fight him.

Buffy

It's your lucky day, Spike.

Two Slayers! (decks him) Buffy: No waiting! (jabs him) Spike falls but quickly gets up. Buffy breaks off to fight Patrice, leaving Kendra to take care of Spike. He ducks a roundhouse kick from her. Buffy faces off with Patrice. She extends her arms down, and a blade slides out from each sleeve. One of the vampires gets up from the floor next to them and starts to reach for Buffy when a bolt impales him. He falls and turns to ashes while Giles looks on from the door, still holding the crossbow. Buffy and Patrice begin to fight hand-to- hand. Patrice thrusts one blade, then the other at Buffy, but she catches her arms and holds them up while she knees Patrice in the stomach. Buffy follows up with a kick to her face and sends her stumbling back into the wall. Spike lands a punch on Kendra, knocking her down, and she scrambles to avoid his follow-up kick. The other vampire gets up also, and Giles runs to engage him. He swings the crossbow at him, but the vampire grabs it, and they struggle over it. Giles swings at the vampire and hits him in the face. Willow jumps up onto his back and starts choking him with her arm. Xander spots Norman and taunts him.

Xander

Hey, larvae boy! (Norman sees him) Yeah, that's right, I'm talkin' to you, ya big cootie! Norman smiles and starts after him. Xander scrambles for the doors and carefully steps through as he closes them behind him to avoid stepping into the puddle of liquid adhesive Cordelia has poured there. She still has the bucket in her hand.

Buffy

Switch! She bends over and Kendra rolls over her back to face Patrice, immediately landing a punch and knocking her into the wall a third time. Buffy faces Spike.

Spike

I'd rather be fightin' you anyway.

Buffy

Mutual. She blocks his thrust, then kicks him in the face and again in the gut. He doubles over and falls to the floor. In the hall Cordelia and Xander continue stomping away.

Cordelia

Die! Die, die, die! Die! Xander puts his hand on her lower back to calm her.

Xander

I think he did, Cordy. She drops the bucket and they run off. Inside, Buffy blocks a punch from Spike, and another, but then he lands punches to her stomach and face. She blocks his next swing and holds his arm while she punches him twice in the face. She grabs his coat and pulls him around and throws him over several pews and into the wall. Behind another pew Willy gets up. Spike growls as he stands back up and sees Willy trying to sneak out of the church. He rushes over and grabs him by the back of the neck.

Spike

Where are you going? Buffy seizes the opportunity to run to the altar and pull the dagger out of Angel and Drusilla's hands.

Now, there's a way in which this isn't my fault!

Spike

They tricked you.

Mm-hm! They were duplicitous!

Spike

Well, then I'll only kill you just this once. (goes for the bite) Drusilla: (weakly) Spike! Spike stops before biting Willy and looks over at her. He sees Buffy trying to untie them. He lets go of Willy and rushes over to the altar, grabs Buffy and shoves her to the floor. He backhand punches her as she gets back up, knocking her down again. Willy wastes no time running out of the church past Willow and Giles, who are still fighting the other vampire. Giles has him held back by both arms and Willow has a stake raised to kill him.

Willow

Hold him steady! She plunges the stake into the vampire's heart and he bursts into ashes, leaving Giles all dusty. Xander and Cordelia run into the back of the nave as Willow pats the dust off of Giles. Patrice throws Kendra over a knocked-over pew and climbs over after her. She swings at Kendra twice, but misses both times when Kendra ducks. She swings again and this time slashes her in the arm. Kendra grabs her wound and looks down at it.

Dat's me favrit shirt! Dat's me *only* shirt! Now Kendra is really mad, and she kicks Patrice in the back of the knee, making her lose her balance. She grabs Patrice by the arm and throws her into a cabinet in front of the organ, smashing it to pieces and knocking her out. Kendra runs over to join the others. Spike takes a torch from its wall hanger and throws it into a pile of old drapes, setting them ablaze.

Xander

Look out! Spike unstraps Drusilla from Angel.

Spike

Sorry, baby. Gotta go. He lifts her into his arms and starts down the aisle.

Buffy

I'm good! A moment later the organ superstructure collapses onto Spike and Drusilla, with its huge brass pipes clanging and rolling everywhere. Buffy turns her attention back to Angel and helps him sit up. She cradles his head with her arm.

Let's get him out! Angel moans as they begin to help him up.

Buffy

Careful!

C'mon. With their help he gets to his feet. Kendra gets under his arm to support him. The others run out of the church as the three of them make their way up the aisle and out the other door. The wreckage of the organ has caught fire now, too. Cut to the school lounge the next day. Oz is getting a box of animal crackers from a vending machine. His arm is in a sling. He straightens up and sees Willow there.

Oz

Oh, hey! (offers the box) Animal cracker?

Willow

(smiles) No, thank you. How's your arm?

Oz

(tries to open the box) Suddenly painless.

Willow

You can still play the guitar okay?

Oz

Oh, not well, but not worse. They start to walk down the hall. Willow takes the box from him to open it.

Willow

Y'know, I never really thanked you.

Oz

Ooo, yeah, please don't. I don't do thanks. (Willow hands back the open box) I get all red. Have to bail. It's not pretty.

Willow

(smiles) Well, then forget that thing. E-especially with the part where I kind of owe you my life.

Oz

(pulls out a cookie and stops) Oh, look! Monkey! And he has a little hat. And little pants.

Willow

(smiles) Yeah, I-I see!

Oz

The monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that? Willow smiles brightly.

Willow

The monkey is French?

Oz

All monkeys are French. You didn't know that?

Willow

No. (giggles) Cut to another part of the halls. Cordelia comes walking along. When she sees Xander she immediately turns and walks the other way. Xander runs around her and stops her.

Xander

We need to talk. Cordelia rolls her eyes and crosses her arms as she goes into an empty classroom. Xander looks back and forth down the hall to make sure no one sees them going in together and follows her. He stands a distance away from her. They both fidget with their hands.

Cordelia

Right. Okay. Why shouldn't we run?

Xander

What happened, there's a total explanation for it.

Cordelia

You're a pervert?

Xander

Me?

Cordelia

Yeah!

Xander

No-no-no-no! (takes a step closer) I seem to recall I was the jumpee, my friend!

Cordelia

As if! (takes a step closer) You've probably been planning this for months!

Xander

Right, I hired a Latvian bug man to kill Buffy so I could kiss you. I hate to burst your bubble, but you don't inspire me to spring for a dinner over at Bucky's Fondue Hut.

Cordelia

Fine! Whatever. (starts to leave, but steps back, closer) You know, the point is: don't try it again!

Xander

I didn't try it! (calms a bit) Forget about the bugs, okay? The memory of your lips on mine makes my blood run cold.

Cordelia

(steps closer) If you dare breathe a word of this...

Xander

Like I want anyone to know!

Cordelia

Then it's erased!

Xander

Never happened!

Cordelia

Good!

Xander

Good!

Cordelia

*Good*! They stare into each other's eyes for a moment, and then grab each other in another mad, passionate kiss. This time they don't break off. Cut to the front of the school. Buffy is walking Kendra to her taxi.

Tank you for de shirt, it was very generous of you.

Buffy

Hey, it looks better on... well, me, but no worries. Now, when you get to the airport...

I get on de plane with me ticket, and sit in a seat. Not de cargo hold.

Buffy

Very good.

Dat is *not* traveling under cover.

Buffy

Exactly. Relax! You earned it. Sit in your seat, you eat your peanuts, you watch the movie, well, unless it's about a dog or Chevy Chase.

I'll remember. (opens the cab door) Buffy: I, um... I just wanted to thank you... for helping me save Angel.

Buffy

(smirks) Tell me about it.

Still, he is pretty cute.

Buffy

Well, maybe they won't fire me for dating him.

You always do dat.

Buffy

Do what?

You talk about slaying like it's a job. It's not. It's who you are.

Buffy

Did you get that from your handbook?

From you.

Buffy

I guess it's something I really can't fight. (smiles) I'm a freak.

Not de only freak.

Buffy

Not anymore. They look at each other for a moment, then Buffy makes a move to hug Kendra, but she backs away.

I don't hug.

Buffy

Right. No. Good. Hate hugs. Kendra smiles at her and gets into the cab. Buffy holds up her hand in good-bye. She watches as the taxi pulls away. Cut to the church. The fire has burned itself out. The camera pans over the scorched rubble of the pipe organ to Spike, unconscious but breathing. Drusilla grabs him by the arm. She is vamped out.

Don't worry, dear heart. She pulls him off of the floor and holds him up by his arm. His head just droops down.