Operation Cordelia

Buffy

C'mon, Stephan, rise and shine. Some of us have a ton of trig homework waiting.

Angel

Hey.

Angel

Is this a bad time?

Buffy

Are you crazy? You don't just sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make noise when you walk. You stomp or... yodel.

Angel

I heard you were on the hunt.

Buffy

I'm supposed to be, but... lazy bones here doesn't wanna come out and play.

Angel

When you first wake up it's a little disorienting. He'll show.

Buffy

It's weird to think of you going through that.

Angel

It's weird to go through. So, uh, you're here alone?

Buffy

Yeah! Why?

Angel

I just thought you'd have somebody with you. Xander or someone.

Buffy

Xander.

Angel

Or someone.

Buffy

Nope. (hops down off the gravestone) Why? Are you jealous?

Angel

(chuckles) Of Xander? Please. He's just a kid.

Buffy

Is it 'cause I danced with him?

Angel

'Danced with' is a pretty loose term. 'Mated with' might be a little closer.

Buffy

Don't you think you're being a little unfair? It was one little dance, which I only did to make you crazy, by the way. Behold my success.

Angel

I am *not* jealous.

Buffy

You're not jealous? What, vampires don't get jealous?

Angel

See? Whenever we fight you always bring up the vampire thing.

Buffy

Well, I didn't come here to fight.

Buffy

Oh, right, I did.

Buffy

Where's my stake? I-I know I had a stake!

Angel

I didn't see a stake!

Buffy

(out of breath) What do you mean he's just a kid? Does that mean I'm just a kid, too?

Angel

Look, obviously I made a mistake coming here tonight. (turns and leaves)

Buffy

Oh, no you don't. You can't just turn and walk away from me like that. (starts following him determinedly) It takes more than that to get rid of me.

Buffy

Oof! Uhhh...

Angel

You okay?

Buffy

I'm fine. (sits up and exhales) Gee, I wish people wouldn't leave open graves laying around like this. (stands up slowly)

Angel

So. Another vampire has risen tonight.

Buffy

I don't think so. Look at those tracks. Whoever was buried here didn't rise from this grave.

Buffy

She was dragged from it.

Giles

(clears his throat) W-w-w-what I'm proposing is, um... and I-I don't mean to appear indecorous, is, is, um, a, a-a-a social engagement, um, a, a, a, a-a date, if you're amenable.

Giles

You idiot!

Buffy

Boy...

Buffy

I guess we never realized how much you like that chair.

Giles

I-I-I was just working on... (knocks over a few books)

Buffy

Your pickup lines?

Giles

(bends down) Um, in a manner of speaking, yes. (picks up the books)

Buffy

Then if you wouldn't mind a little Gene and Roger, you might wanna leave off the 'idiot' part. Being called an idiot tends to take people out of the dating mood.

Xander

Hmm, it actually kinda turns me on. (looks at Buffy)

Buffy

(to Xander) I fear you. (goes to the table) You also might wanna avoid words like 'amenable' and 'indecorous', y'know. Speak English, not whatever they speak in, um...

Giles

England?

Buffy

Yeah. You just say, 'Hey, I got a thing, you maybe have a thing, maybe we could have a thing.'

Giles

(sarcastically) Oh, thank you, Cyrano.

Buffy

I'm not finished. Then you say, 'How do you feel about Mexican?'

Giles

About Mexicans?

Buffy

Mexican. Food. You take her for food, for which you then pay. (sits at the table)

Giles

Oh. Right.

Xander

So this chair-woman. We are talking Ms. Calendar, right?

Giles

W-what makes you think that?

Xander

(sits) Simple deduction. Ms. Calendar is reasonably dollsome, especially for someone in your age bracket. She already knows that you're a school librarian, so you don't have to worry about how to break that embarrassing news to her.

Buffy

And she's the only woman we've actually ever seen speak to you. Add it all up and it all spells 'duh'.

Xander

Now, is it time to have a talk about the facts of life?

Giles

You know, I'm suddenly deciding this is none of your business. (starts up the stairs)

Xander

Y'know, because that whole stork thing is a smoke screen.

Giles

So, um, how did things go last night? Did Mr. Korshak show up on schedule?

Buffy

More or less. Angel and I took care of him.

Xander

Angel.

Buffy

(gives Xander a look) There's something else, though. We found an empty grave.

Giles

Another vampire?

Buffy

No. No, this one was dug up and the body was taken out.

Giles

Grave robbing? That's new. Interesting. (comes back down to the table)

Buffy

I *know* you meant to say gross and disturbing.

Giles

Yes, yes, yes of course. Uh, terrible thing. Must, must put a stop to it. Damn it.

Xander

So. Why does someone want to dig up graves?

Giles

Well, I'll, uh, collect some theories. Uh, it would help if we knew who the body belonged to.

Buffy

Meredith Todd. Ring a bell?

Xander

No.

Buffy

She died recently. She was our age.

Xander

Drawin' a blank.

Giles

Why don't we ask Willow to, uh, fire (indicates the PC) this thing up and, uh, track Meredith down?

Smile! (takes her picture)

Willow

Hey!

Oh, look at those legs! (goes to take her picture)

Willow

No, thank you.

Eric, will you knock it off?

Willow

(smiles) Hey, Chris!

Hey.

Willow

Oh, I, I was just wondering what you were gonna do this year.

Why?

Willow

'Cause every year you win and I place second, so I just thought I'd see what I'm up against.

You know what the key is? If Dr. Clark doesn't understand your experiment he gives you higher marks so it looks like he understands your experiment. (reads Willow's entry) 'The Effects of Sub-Violet Light Spectrum Deprivation on the Development of Fruit Flies'? (smirks) That should do the trick.

Cordelia

(shows up and signs up) Okay, I'm doing this under protest. It is not fair that they're making participation in this year's science fair mandatory. I don't think anyone should have to do anything educational in school if they don't want to.

Willow

(reads) 'The Tomato: Fruit or Vegetable'?

Cordelia

I wanted to do something I could finish in a weekend, alright?

Cordelia

Stop it! What are you doing? (Eric takes another picture) We are under florescent light, for God's sake.

The camera loves you!

Cordelia

I didn't think yearbook nerds came out of hibernation till spring.

(snaps another picture) It's for my private collection. (winks)

Eric! Will you quit it?

Buffy

Comin' through. Sorry. (Eric takes her picture) Uh, sorry to interrupt, Willow, but it's the Bat Signal.

Willow

Okay, sure. See you later, Chris. Thanks for the tip.

Okay.

Cordelia

(disgusted) Uhhh! (leaves)

Cordelia's so fine. Y'know, she'd be just perfect for us.

Don't be an idiot. She's alive.

Willow

This shouldn't take long. I'm probably the only girl in school who has the coroner's office bookmarked as a favorite place.

Cordelia

(coming in) Hi. Sorry to interrupt your little undead playgroup, but I need to ask Willow if she'll help me with my science fair project.

Willow

It's a fruit.

Cordelia

I would've asked Chris to help me, but then that would've brought back too many memories of Daryl.

Willow

I found it! Meredith Todd died in a car accident last week.

Cordelia

Of course I have learned to deal with my pain.

Buffy

How was her neck?

Willow

Fine, except for being broken.

Cordelia

Hello! Can we deal with my pain, please?

Giles

There, there.

Willow

It says that Meredith and two other girls in the car were killed instantly. They were all on the Fondren High Pep Squad, on the way to a game.

Buffy

You know what this means.

Xander

That Fondren might actually beat Sunnydale in the cross-town body count competition this year?

Buffy

She wasn't killed by vampires. Somebody did dig up her corpse.

Cordelia

Eww! Why is it that every conversation you people have has the word 'corpse' in it?

Xander

Okay, so we got a body snatcher. What does that mean?

Giles

Uh, h-here's what I've come up with. Demons who eat the flesh of the dead to absorb their souls. Or, i-i-it could obviously be a, a voodoo practitioner.

Willow

You mean making a zombie?

Giles

Uh, zombies, more likely. For most traditional purposes a voodoo priest would require more than one.

Buffy

So, we should see if the other girls from the accident are AWOL, too. Maybe we can figure out what this creep has in mind if we know whether or not he's dealing in volume.

Xander

So, we dig up some graves tonight?

Willow

Oh, boy! A field trip! Are you gonna call Angel?

Buffy

I don't think so.

Xander

Yeah, why bother him, huh?

Buffy

Angel and I have been, um... Never mind. As far as Angel's concerned, I'm taking the night off, okay?

Xander

So, we're set then. Say, nineish? BYO shovel?

Willow

And I'll pack some food. Who else likes those little powdered doughnuts?

Xander

Me.

Willow

Cordelia?

Cordelia

Darn, I have cheerleader practice tonight. Boy, I wish I knew we were gonna be digging up dead people sooner. I would've canceled.

Xander

Alright, but if you come across the army of zombies, can you page us before they eat your flesh?

Giles

Xander?

Xander

Huh?

Giles

Zombies don't eat the flesh of the living.

Xander

Yeah, I knew that. But did you see the look on her face?

Buffy

I couldn't believe Angel. He was acting all jealous, and he wouldn't even admit it.

Willow

Jealous of what?

Buffy

Of Xander.

Willow

Because you did that sexy dance with him?

Buffy

Am I ever gonna live that down?

Willow

No. (munches a doughnut)

Buffy

Anyway, he was being totally irrational.

Willow

Love makes you do the wacky.

Buffy

That's the truth.

Xander

Y'know, this might go a lot faster if you femmes actually picked up a shovel, too.

Giles

Here, here.

Buffy

Sorry, but I'm an old-fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies. (to Willow) So, speaking of the wacky, what was Cordelia's whole riff about painful memories? Who's Daryl?

Willow

Daryl Epps. Chris' older brother. He was a big football star. All-State two years ago. He was a running... He was a running... Uh, someone who runs and catches.

Buffy

Was he a studly?

Willow

Big time. All of the girls were crazy for him.

Buffy

And he broke Cordy's heart? Thus possibly proving its existence.

Willow

He died. Rock climbing or something? He fell.

Buffy

Man, that's lousy. Poor Chris.

Willow

Ever since then Chris has been real quiet. Kind of in his own world. I heard their mother doesn't even leave the house anymore.

Giles

I think we're there.

Willow

By the way, are we hoping to find a body, or no body?

Xander

Call me an optimist, but I'm hoping to find a fortune in gold doubloons.

Giles

Um, body would mean flesh-eating demon, no body would point towards the, uh, army of zombies thing. Take your pick, really. Right, then, uh... (to Xander) Go on. (indicates the casket)

Xander

You're closer.

Buffy

Pathetic much? (climbs down) Move over.

Cordelia

Guys, if we don't get this down by tomorrow, no one's gonna be led by our cheers. Practice.

Okay. See ya later.

Cordelia

Hello?

Cordelia

Xander Harris, if this is some kind of joke...

Angel

Cordelia. This is the last place I expected you to hang out.

Cordelia

(quietly) Oh, God! God, it's you. Why were you following me?

Angel

I wasn't sure it was you at first. I'm looking for Buffy.

Cordelia

Buffy? Well, she's, uh... big shock, she's at the graveyard.

Angel

She said she'd be home.

Cordelia

Well, she lied. Isn't she a rascal? Well, you're in luck. It just so happens that my night is free. (tries to get out) Uh, hold on, my skirt is caught.

Cordelia

There.

Xander

So, both coffins are empty. That makes three girls signed up for the army of zombies.

Willow

Is it an army if you just have three?

Buffy

Zombie drill team then.

Angel

You're back.

Buffy

Angel!

Angel

Xander.

Xander

Angel.

Angel

(to Buffy) I thought you were takin' the night off.

Buffy

I, I was, um, but something came up.

Angel

Cordelia told me the truth.

Xander

(chuckles) That's gotta be a first.

Giles

Um, as long as you're here, perhaps you could be of some help. Hmm? (to Buffy) Hmm?

Buffy

We were investigating. Somebody's been digging up the bodies of dead girls.

Angel

I know. We found some of them.

Buffy

You mean, like, two of the three?

Angel

I mean, like, some of them. Like parts.

Cordelia

It was horrible. Angel saved me from an arm. God, there were so many parts, they were everywhere. Why are these terrible things always happening to me?

Xander

Karma! (coughs to cover it)

Willow

So much for our zombie theory.

Giles

So much for all our theories.

Buffy

I don't get it. Why go to all the trouble to dig up three girls only to chop them up and throw them away? It doesn't make any sense. Especially from a time management standpoint.

Angel

Well, what I saw didn't add up to three whole girls. I think they kept some parts.

Buffy

Could this get yuckier?

Willow

They probably kept the other parts to eat.

Buffy

Question answered.

Giles

Why dispose of the remains five miles from the cemetery at a school, of all places?

Buffy

Maybe because whoever did it had some business in the neighborhood. Like, say, classes?

Giles

Oh. Ah.

Angel

This was no hatchet job. Whoever made those incisions really knew what they were doing.

Giles

(disbelieving) Yes, really. What student here is gonna be that well versed in physiology?

Willow

Well, I can think of five or six guys in the science club. And me.

Xander

So, Will, come clean. Promise to never do it again, and we'll call it a night. (no response) He joked! (smiles)

Buffy

Willow, why don't you get these guys' locker numbers so we can do some checking?

Cordelia

No. I have to go home now. I have to take a bath and burn my clothes.

Xander

(in mock disappointment) You have to go? Aw, too bad. Keep in touch. Buh-bye.

Cordelia

I don't wanna go alone. I'm still fragile. (to Angel) Can you take me?

Cordelia

Great! I'll drive?

Xander

How about that? I always pegged him as a one-woman vampire.

I'm going out, Mom.

I'll be back later, okay? Mom?

Dar-yl! Dar-yl! Dar-yl! Dar-yl! Dar-yl!

Giles

You understand, in my capacity as school official, this search is completely unauthorized, and I, I cannot condone it.

Buffy

Fine, your butt's covered. Wanna grab a locker? (hands him a sheet)

Giles

Uh, yes, yes, of course. (takes the sheet)

Buffy

(approaches a locker) Okay, Eric. Let's see what's on your annoying little mind.

Willow

(at another locker) Nothing in here but back issues of Scientific American. Ooo, I haven't read this one! (starts to read)

Giles

Nothing remarkable here.

Xander

(opens one) Guys!

Xander

Your friend Chris Epps' locker.

Willow

(reads off book titles) 'Grey's Anatomy', 'Mortician's Desk Reference', 'Robicheaux's Guide to Muscles and Tendons'.

Giles

I think it's fair to say Chris is involved.

Xander

He's into corpses alright, but we still don't know why.

Buffy

Yes, we do.

I guess you'll say / What can make me feel this way? / My girl / Talkin' 'bout my girl / My girl... How's my baby?

She's not your baby.

She's not gonna be anybody's baby if we don't finish her soon.

I'm working on it.

So am I, friend. So am I.

Xander

Any sign of our suspects?

Buffy

Not yet. I don't get it. Why would anybody wanna make a girl?

Xander

You mean when there's so many pre-made ones just laying around? The things we do for love.

Buffy

Love has nothing to do with this.

Xander

Maybe not, but I'll tell you this: people don't fall in love with what's right in front of them.

Xander

People want the dream. What they can't have.

Xander

The more unattainable, the more attractive.

Willow

And for Eric the unattainable would include everyone. That's alive.

Buffy

Uh, Eric's sick enough to do something like this, but what about Chris? He seems like a human person.

Willow

I dunno. That thing with his brother was really hard on him. And he talked about death a lot. Maybe he just wanted to get one-up on it.

Buffy

But it's not doable. I mean, making someone from scraps, actually making them live.

Willow

If it is, my science project's definitely coming in second this year.

Xander

(spots Giles) And speaking of love...

Willow

We were talking about the re-animation of dead tissue.

Xander

Do I deconstruct your segues?

Buffy

(to Giles) Hey.

Giles

(distracted) Oh! Yes. Hello.

Buffy

Still no sign of our mad doctors?

Giles

What? Oh! Uh, corpses, yes. Evil. Huh. Very good.

Did you bring it? (the student shakes his head) Tomorrow.

I forgot it.

Giles

Very, very good.

Buffy

Okay, Giles, just remember, 'I feel a thing, you feel a thing...' But personalize it.

Giles

Personalize it?

Buffy

She's a technopagan, right? Ask her to bless your laptop. (starts to leave) Have fun.

Giles

What? Oh! Don't...

Xander

Best of luck. (follows the girls)

Giles

...leave?

(walks by) Good morning, Rupert. (continues without stopping)

Giles

Uh, Ms. Calendar?

(looks at him but keeps going) Oh, no, please call me Jenny. Ms. Calendar's my father.

Giles

(follows) Jenny, then.

Giles

You know, uh, Jenny, um...

Hmm?

Giles

Would it a-appear indecorous... Uh, no, not in-in-indecorous, um...

Yeah...?

Giles

Well, um... Wha... (exhales) Ah, ah, um...

Rupert, look, I've gotta get inside and set up the lab.

Giles

What, what I'm proposing is...

Ah! I gotta go! Sorry! (goes into her room)

Giles

(to himself) You idiot!

(sticks her head back out) Hey! Listen, if it's important, why don't you just tell me at the game?

Giles

Game? Oh, uh, you're going to the football game?

Yeah, you seem surprised. (smiles)

Giles

No! No, I-I-I-I-I-I just assumed that you, you, you spent your evenings downloading incantations and, and, and casting bones.

On game night? Are you nuts? You're going, too, right?

Giles

Oh, of course. Always, always do.

So, we should just go together! Look, I could pick you up after school, and we'll grab a bite to eat on the way if you like. How do you feel about Mexican?

Good! Okay! And whatever it is you wanna tell me, you can just tell me then. Okay?

Giles

Okay! Tonight, then.

Giles

(to himself) That went well. I think.

Willow

I still don't get how Chris could do it. I mean, arresting the cell deterioration is one thing, but...

Xander

Hello! (holds up a visible head) I wanna get ahead.

Willow

(exhales) Maybe an electrical current combined with an adrenaline boost.

Xander

For the love of God, can somebody scratch my nose?

Buffy

(comes into the room) Well, it's official. Chris and Eric didn't come to school today.

Xander

That's no coincidence.

Willow

Maybe they finished their project.

Buffy

God! What if it worked? What, what if that poor girl is walking around?

Xander

Poor girls, technically.

Buffy

What could she be thinking?

Willow

And what are they gonna do with her?

Giles

(comes in also) I don't think we need to worry about that just yet. I spoke to a press person this morning about the remains. The police have finished sorting through them, and apparently they found three heads in the dumpster.

Buffy

They only had three girls.

Giles

Precisely.

Willow

So, they don't have the whole, uh, package?

Xander

Heads must be no good. Huh. I found 'em attractive enough. (gets looks from the girls) Well, obviously I'm not as sick as Chris and Eric.

Giles

Based on what the police have put together, I would say they're one step short of completing their masterpiece.

Willow

One step.

We're running out of time. If we wait too long, the onset of atrophy in the limbs will be irreversible.

We can turn up the current. That'll buy us a day, at least.

We will lose the entire body if we don't attach a head soon.

We have time.

We don't! The crash with the girls was lucky. But we can't just keep waiting around for another lucky accident to drop a head in our laps. You know what we have to do. Hell, it's just one lousy girl.

I won't do it. I... I can't... kill anyone. (turns to the shadows) Please! Understand. I... I can't do that! Please don't make me.

But you gave me your word. You promised me, little brother. (comes into the light) That I wouldn't be alone.

The body is perfect. And if we harvest a head tonight, she'll be ready by sunrise.

When you brought me back you promised you'd take care of me. I need this, Chris. I need someone.

Please don't ask me to do this. Don't ask me to take a life.

I tried to tell him. If you take a life in order to make a life, the whole thing is a wash. No harm, no foul.

Maybe you could... you could go out...

No!

Let people know.

They can't see me. Chris, you've always been smarter than me. You were always the brains. You're the only one who can help me now. Third and long, seconds to go. Where do you throw? Where do you throw?

Number five. Daryl's gonna drive.

Help me, brother.

Thank you. (to Eric) Show me!

(points) This one.

Ha, ha. A man of taste.

(sings) My girl / Talkin' 'bout my girl / My girl

Willow

I checked the obits. Nothing that would make for a likely candidate.

Xander

They seem kinda picky for guys who had three heads to begin with.

Willow

Formaldehyde.

Giles

Formaldehyde. Yes, yes, yes, yes, of course, it accelerates neural decay in the brain cells.

Willow

After a couple days they're useless. They're gonna need something really fresh.

Buffy

How fresh?

Willow

As fresh as possible. Buffy, you don't think that they would...

Buffy

I think anybody who cuts dead girls into little pieces does not get the benefit of any doubt. I wanna end this thing now.

Giles

I second that.

Buffy

Okay, fine. You guys go to Eric's, we can go to Chris', and meet up.

Giles

(remembering) Oh! I'm supposed to be at the big game, I-I believe it's called.

Buffy

Fine. Go ahead. We'll take care of this.

Giles

Well, yes, but shouldn't I, I-I, um...

Buffy

Okay, then why don't, uh, we all meet there?

Giles

Fine. Yes.

Willow

Buffy? Don't be too hard on Chris. I mean, he's not a vampire.

Buffy

No. He's just a ghoul.

Buffy

Hi. Um, I'm a friend of Chris'. I kinda need to talk to him. Uh, do you know if he's home?

Buffy

So, is he home?

Westbury game. November 17, '95. Daryl rushed 185 yards that night. Four TD's. He was MVP, and he made All-City that season.

Buffy

Yeah, that was a great one. Um, but is Chris home?

I dunno. Is today a school day? Oh, watch! Watch this move! Daryl takes a kickoff, he sheds one, two, three defenders, and he breaks into the open field for a ninety-five yard touchdown!

He woulda been nineteen next week.

Buffy

(whispers) Cordelia!

Cordelia. You coming?

Cordelia

Yeah, I'll be right out.

Cordelia

Oh, God! Chris, you scared me. What are you doing in here?

Cordelia

Is something wrong?

Buffy

Joy! Lisa! Where's Cordelia?

Cordelia has a game to think about. She doesn't need losers like you. (tries to go)

Buffy

(blocks her way) I'm sorry, what did you say?

Buffy

Are you okay?

Cordelia

Oh my God, Buffy!

Buffy

Don't worry, he's gone.

Cordelia

I was on my way down to the field when Chris came in, and all of a sudden someone jumped me.

Buffy

Shh! Quiet down. Relax. Take it easy.

Cordelia

(hears music) That's the fight song. Oh my God, it's time for the cheerleader pyramid at mid-field. I've gotta go.

Buffy

Well, are you sure you're okay to go out there?

Cordelia

Yeah, you don't understand, I *have* to go. I'm the apex! (runs out)

Buffy

Chris? (walks slowly) I know what you're trying to do. You and Eric. I know about the bodies from the cemetery. But you haven't hurt anyone yet. (Chris steps out into the open) Look, I know what it's like to lose someone that you're close to. But that's no excuse. What you're doing is wrong.

I have to do this for him. He needs someone.

Buffy

Who, Eric? He needs industrial strength therapy!

He always looked out for me. Stood up for me. He's all alone. Everybody loved him. And now he's all alone.

Buffy

Who are you talking... (realizes) Oh my God!

(yelling) You promised me! You promised I wouldn't have to be alone!

It's not too late.

Nothing's changed! We can still do this! You and me. Your brother's not the only one who can create life. Whadaya say?

Let's go scare you up a date.

Buffy

Daryl! Daryl? Daryl!

Buffy

He's not here. Where else could he be?

But he would never go out. U-unless...

Buffy

He's gonna pick up where you left off.

Go, Razorbacks, go! Go, team, go! Go, Razorbacks, go! Go, team, go!

I don't know what it is about football that does it for me. I mean, it lacks the, the grace of basketball, the, uh, poetry of baseball. At its best it's unadorned aggression. It's such a rugged contest.

Giles

Rugged. American football. (laughs)

And that's funny because?

Giles

No! (laughs) I just think it's rather odd (they sit) that a nation that prides itself on its virility should feel compelled to strap on forty pounds of protective gear just in order to play rugby.

Is this your normal strategy for a first date? Dissing my country's national pastime?

Giles

Did you just say 'date'?

You noticed that, huh?

Willow

Hi, Ms. Calendar! Hi, Giles.

Hey, guys. What's up?

Willow

Eric's was a bust. Nothing there.

Xander

Yeah, nothing but a bunch of computer equipment and a pornography collection so prodigious it even scared me.

Willow

Did Buffy get back yet?

Giles

No, uh, no. Uh, perhaps you should, uh, circulate nearer the field, see what you can find.

Xander

So, what's the score?

Buffy

I don't see her. Do you?

No.

Cordelia

Please, what's going on? Just take off the blindfold. I promise I won't scream! I promise!

She's beautiful!

No! It's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding.

Cordelia

Please? Just take off the blindfold! I promise I won't scream! I promise!

Cordelia?

You can scream all you want. We're in an abandoned building.

Okay, that's enough.

You were always good to me. Always noticed me. But I ignored you. I'm sorry. I'm glad I have a second chance to tell you that.

Cordelia

D-Daryl?

I was thoughtless. I see that now. But I've changed. I've learned to appreciate how much it meant that you wanted to be with me.

We're ready.

Cordelia

Ready? Ready for what?

You're gonna feel a little pinch, maybe some discomfort around the neck area. But don't worry. When you wake up, you'll have the body of a seventeen-year-old. In fact, you'll have the body of several.

Buffy

He was here, Chris. Where did he take her?

To the rest of the body. To the lab.

Buffy

Where is that?

I promised him that I...

Buffy

Look, he'll kill Cordelia! You can't just give and take lives like that. It's not your job.

He's in the old science lab. Everything's set up there.

Buffy

Thank you. Now find Xander and Willow and tell them what's going on.

Cordelia

(frightened) Daryl, please. You don't have to do this.

We have to. So we can be together.

Cordelia

We'll be together anyway! I'll be with you, I promise!

Is that right?

Cordelia

Mm hm!

You see anything you like?

And when you're finished you won't go out. You won't run away. But we can hide together.

Cordelia

(very frightened) Please! Please!

Sterile enough for government work.

Cordelia

No! No, please!

Cordelia

Buffy, help me!

Buffy

Daryl, listen. I know what you're doing, okay? Your brother sent me to stop you.

He wouldn't do that. My brother loves me.

Cordelia

Buffy, they're crazy!

Buffy

It's okay, Cordelia. I'm gonna get you outta here.

No, I'm not done with her yet!

I'm not finished!

I won't live alone!

I'm getting out of here!

(grabs Eric by the shirt) You have to help me!

Let go!

Xander

Buffy!

Buffy

Get Cordelia!

Cordelia

Xander!

Cordelia

Get me out of here!

Cordelia

C'mon! C'mon! Get it off!

Cordelia

Get it off! Get me outta here! C'mon!

Daryl!

Don't!

She's mine!

Daryl!

Daryl!

No. We'll be together always. No! Mine!

The first time he woke up after... He said I shouldn'ta brought him back. I-I was just... tryin' to look out for him. Like... he woulda done for me.

Angel

(suddenly shows up) I saw the fire. I figured you'd be here. Is everyone okay?

Buffy

Yeah. We're okay.

Giles

Sorry about all this.

It's okay. Although a good rule of thumb for a first date is don't do anything so exciting that it'll be hard to top on the second date.

Giles

Believe it or not, since I've moved here to live on top of the Hellmouth, the events of this evening actually qualify as a slow night. (pauses and considers) Did you just say 'second date'?

You noticed that, huh? (smiles)

Xander

Well, I guess that makes it official. Everybody's paired off. Vampires get dates. Hell, even the school librarian sees more action than me. You ever think that the world is a giant game of musical chairs, and the music's stopped and we're the only ones who don't have a chair?

Willow

All the time.

Cordelia

Xander? I just wanted to thank you for saving my life. What you did in there was really brave and heroic, and I just wanted to tell you if there was anything that I could ever do to...

Xander

Do you mind? We're talking here.

Xander

So where were we?

Willow

Wondering why we never get dates.

Xander

Yeah, so why do you think that is?

Buffy

God, the whole thing was so creepy. Well, at the same time, I mean... he did do it all for his brother.

Angel

Sounds like he took it a little over the edge.

Buffy

Love makes you do the wacky.

Angel

What?

Buffy

Crazy stuff.

Angel

Oh. Crazy, like a two-hundred-and-forty-one-year-old being jealous of a high school junior?

Buffy

Are you fessing up?

Angel

I've thought about it. Maybe it bothers me a little.

Buffy

I don't love Xander.

Angel

Yeah, but he's in your life. He gets to be there when I can't. Take your classes, eat your meals, hear your jokes and complaints. He gets to see you in the sunlight.

Buffy

I don't look that good in direct light.

Angel

It'll be morning soon.

Buffy

I should probably go. I could walk you home.