Der tiefe Abgrund

(to Angel) Who are you?

(holding a contract, speaks to the girl) This is to confirm that you have been rescued by Angel, C.E.O. and President of Wolfram & Hart...

(to Angel) You run a law firm?

Angel

(innocently) Well, just lately.

Wesley

Why on earth are we here?

Fred

What? Because we're crusaders against evil and now the law firm that represents most of the evil in the world has given us its L.A. Branch to run however we want?

Angel

(buttons his jacket) We're turning this place inside out.

Lorne

Yes, it's perfect. It's the project you've been waiting for. Yeah, it's "Joanie Loves Chachi" meets "The Sorrow and the Pity."

Angel

(sips from his mug, then looks up at his secretary) Harmony.

Harmony

Hey! Boss.

Angel

You're my secretary?

Fred

Have you seen my lab? It's giganamous. And I'm in charge.

I'm just wondering if you're ready for the next step.

Gunn

You don't know me or you wouldn't ask that question.

Angel

(rubbing his chin) Yes, we are. We're gonna change things. We came to Wolfram and Hart because it's a powerful weapon. (picks up the envelope from his desk, rips open the envelope) We'll deal... (an amulet falls out of the envelope) with whatever comes next.

Spike

Aah! (doubles over in pain, panting, glaring ferociously)

Wesley

(softly) Spike?

Angel

(angrily) Spike.

Spike

Go on, then.

Buffy

No. No, you've done enough. You could still—

Spike

No, you've beat them back. It's for me to do the cleanup.

Buffy

(worried) Spike!

Spike

I mean it! I gotta do this. (holds out his hand to stop her)

Spike

(another earthquake; Buffy lets go of his hand) Now go! (Buffy runs up the stairs) I wanna see how it ends.

Spike

(confused) What...what...

Harmony

(hands on her hips) What the hell are you doing here, Spike?

Wesley

Harmony, please.

Gunn

(sneering) This is Spike? The Spike?

Fred

Wait a minute. Who's—

Lorne

(calmly, to Spike) Easy, slim. Easy. No one's gonna hurt you.

Gunn

Speak for yourself, green jeans.

Fred

OK, would somebody please tell me who—

Wesley

William the Bloody. He's a vampire. One of the worst recorded. Second only to—

Angel

Me. (an angry Spike turns to face Angel) But you're dead.

Harmony

(gesturing widely, rolling her eyes knowingly) Well, yeah. Who here isn't? (looks around) Besides him (to Wes) and him (to Gunn) and her (to Fred) and... (to Lorne) What are you again?

Spike

(looks up and frowns) Bugger.

Spike

(looks down at his body in the desk) What? What's happened to me?

Harmony

Well, I'm no doctor, but I think you're a ghost.

Spike

(points at her) I'm no—I'm no bloody ghost.

Harmony

Hey, you're the one sticking out of a desk, pal. (angrily) And you can't talk to me like that. We're not going out anymore.

Gunn

Where'd he come from?

Wesley

(picks up the amulet from the floor) From this.

Fred

What is it?

Angel

Something I gave to Buffy before—

Spike

Buffy! Is she—

Angel

She's OK.

Spike

Where—where is she?

Angel

Europe, last I heard from her.

Spike

Wanna see her... Wanna talk to her.

Angel

That's gonna be tough.

Spike

(scoffs) You can't keep her from me.

Angel

She's not mine to keep... or yours.

Spike

Says you. You got no idea what we had.

Angel

You never had her.

Spike

(in Angel's face) More than you, you poncy—

Harmony

Oh...my...God! You and the slayer actually... I mean, I know you had that twisted obsession with her, but...yecch. That's just... yecch. (walks away, stops) I... yecch! (leaves)

Spike

I must be in hell.

Lorne

Uh, no. L.A., but a lot of people make that mistake.

Fred

(to Wes and Gunn) So Spike and Buffy are—

Wesley

He was, um, an ally of hers for some time, at least that's what Angel told me. That's all Angel told me.

Gunn

So he's a good-guy vampire like Angel?

Angel

He's nothing like me.

Spike

Got that right. What have you done to me? (looks around the office) What is this place?! (to Fred, Gunn and Wes) Who are you people? What the bloody hell is happening?!

Lorne

(to Wes) Honey of a story.

Wesley

Story?

Lorne

Yeah, the vampire slayer both men loved, both men lost. Oh, I could sell that to any studio in a heartbeat. I see Depp and Bloom. But then I see them a lot. Sorry. Hazard of running the entertainment division. Gotta get out more.

Spike

(to Fred) So what are you then? Scanner girl?

Fred

(scanning Spike) I'm Fred. I head up Wolfram & Hart's Science Department.

Spike

Wolfram & Hart. Heard of that. Thought it was a law firm.

Fred

It is, among other things.

Spike

Also heard they represent the worst evil in the universe.

Angel

It did, among other things, but now I'm in charge.

Spike

Are you now?

Fred

Weird. (picks up a folder) I'm getting electromagnetic readings consistent with spiritual entities, but there's no ectoplasmic matrix.

Gunn

Meaning?

Fred

Ectoplasm's what makes ghosts visible to the human eye. If he's a ghost, technically we shouldn't be able to see him. (writes in the folder) And I'm detecting brainwave activity.

Angel

On Spike? (chuckles) That is weird.

Fred

Also, ghosts generally absorb light and heat energy making the area around them a few degrees cooler. Spike's radiating heat.

Spike

(smirks) Think I'm hot, do you?

Fred

Mm...lukewarm. Just above room temperature.

Spike

Well, what the hell am I then?

Wesley

Whatever he is, it's clearly tied to this amulet. Spike's essence, for lack of a better term, must have been held within it. (to Spike) Do you have any memory of a strange sensation when it released its energy?

Spike

What? You mean my skin and muscle burning away from the bone? Organs exploding in my chest? Eyeballs melting in their sockets? No. No memory at all. Thanks for asking.

Angel

OK, he's connected to the amulet. Last I heard it was buried deep inside of the hellmouth. How did it end up here?

Fred

Maybe he's here for a reason. You know, some higher purpose or something he's destined for. Sent to us by the powers that be to help us or—

Spike

Who gave them the bloody right to do that? (scoffs, paces) Can't a man die in peace without some high almighty deciding it's not his time. Let's have a little more fun with him, eh? You think that saving the sodding world would be enough to earn me a rest. You'd think—

Fred

Spike?

Spike

Hmm? (looks at his body) Oh, balls. (disappears)

Gunn

Now what?

Fred

I don't know. He just... (looks at Angel) What did he mean, "saving the world"?

Angel

Oh, that—well—Buffy did most of the work. Well, he helped, but—

Spike

(rematerializes) Hmm? What? What?

Lorne

Took the "what's" right out of our mouths.

Gunn

Where'd you go?

Fred

Don't you know?

Spike

I'm—I was... (to Angel) You! This is your fault.

Angel

Mine?

Spike

You brought that bloody amulet to Sunnydale. You would have been the one to use it, until you chickened out.

Angel

What did you—

Spike

(incensed) You heard me! You left town in the nick of time, didn't you, before the death and mayhem? Abandoned the woman you claimed to love.

Angel

She made the call. Wasn't my choice.

Spike

And this, bloody hell, wasn't mine. I'm not you. I don't give a piss about atonement or destiny. Just because I got me a soul doesn't mean I'm gonna let myself be led around by—

Fred

E-excuse me?

Wesley

Did—did you just say— Spike has a soul? (to Angel) You never said.

Angel

Didn't seem worth mentioning, you know.

Gunn

(frowns) Seems to be a lot of that.

Spike

Or maybe Captain Forehead was feeling a little less special. Didn't like me crashing his exclusive club—another vampire with a soul in the world.

Angel

(in Spike's face) You're not in the world...Casper. (walks away)

Spike

Running away again. (Angel rolls his eyes and continues walking) Nice new M.O. I can see why heroes like you get rewarded with the shiny new glass and chrome. Why didn't I think of that?

Angel

I'm not responsible for what happened to you. (walks past Harmony's desk)

Harmony

Angel, it's almost three o'clock. You have a meeting scheduled—

Angel

Not now, Harmony.

Spike

And here you've even managed to get my ex-tumble, the littlest vampire, fetching coffee for you. Nice perks for the sell-out.

Angel

Little tip, Spike: Try not to talk about things you don't understand.

Spike

I'm not the prat here. I know you, Angel. What do you think you're doing? Made some devil's bargain to take over this company. Thought you'd use it to fight the evil of the world from inside the belly of the beast. Trouble is you're too busy fighting to see you and yours are getting digested.

Angel

(stops in front of the elevators) Not gonna happen.

Spike

Oh, you think you're in control here? Guess again, mate. You're no more in control than I am. Except I'm not gonna bloody stand for it, while you're just a blind... (looks over Angel's shoulder) Grox'lar Beast.

Angel

What?

Spike

Oh, brilliant.

Angel

Somebody want to tell me how a Grox'lar Beast got past security? I don't have time for this.

Spike

Of course not. Man's gotta stay focused on profit margins and power lunches.

Harmony

Angel—

Angel

Yeah, Spike? I got a business to run. That means responsibilities, appointments to keep.

Harmony

That was your three o'clock.

Angel

That... (Spike laughs at him) I'm meeting with Grox'lars?! They eat babies!

Harmony

Just their heads. You were supposed to open negotiations with his clan.

Angel

Negotiations for what?

Gunn

(walks up to the scene) Get 'em to stop eating baby heads.

Angel

Oh. So that's good. Oh, so this—this is bad.

Gunn

No, actually the Grox'lar clan respects someone who takes a strong opening position. Wolfram & Hart didn't just jack me up here with the human laws, also demon laws from every dimension. Probably should have been briefed you about the Grox'lar, but we got a little... (looks at Spike) sidetracked. Plus I've been implementing our reforms. Mostly staff overhaul. I've fired 40 employees in the past 2 days.

Angel

(walks away) How's that going?

Gunn

(follows Angel) As expected. Anger, tears, venomous death threats.

Harmony

(to Spike) Listen, I know I was a little crabby before. I mean, hello?! A little awkward seeing you at my work. But if you want to talk or something, you know, about us or... (Spike walks away without acknowledging her) OK. Too soon. I understand... (under her breath) Slayer-loving freak.

Gunn

Caught an associate we laid off trying to smuggle this out of the voodoo division.

Angel

(takes the doll) It's a nice likeness.

Spike

(walks up to the door) This place just goes on and on, doesn't it? Like a ruddy theme park attraction.

Angel

I'm in a meeting, Spike.

Spike

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't care.

Gunn

Look, we're ruffling a lot of dangerous feathers out there. There's gonna be a backlash. Count on it.

Angel

Well, we'll just have to ride out the ripples for a while.

Gunn

(looks at the door) I'm sensing a ripple on its way now.

Yes, uh...Novac, sir. Uh, what's this about you shutting down the Internment Acquisitions Division?

Angel

(to Gunn) Internment Acqui—

Gunn

Grave-robbing.

Listen, I know you fellas are in charge now, and you're doing a bang-up job. I'm with you 110%, but that department brings in mucho revenue to this company.

Angel

Well, Novac, we'll just have to tighten our belts and do without.

No, you're not getting it... sir. I.A.D. is under contract to provide fresh bodies to Magnus Hainsley. You know who he is, right? (Angel looks at Gunn) Oy. OK. He's one of our oldest clients. Big potatoes. We stop delivering, and he is not gonna be... thrilled.

Angel

Then he's probably not gonna like it when you advise him that he's no longer our client.

(worried) Me?

Angel

(walks toward Novac) You got it, counselor. You tell Mister— (clears throat)

Gunn

Hainsley.

Angel

Hainsley that Wolfram & Hart is under new management and out of the grave-robbing business. Now, run along and go argue your case.

(unsure) Me?

Angel

Go.

Spike

You don't have to take that from him, mate.

Angel

Stay out of this, Spike. You don't work here.

Spike

Damn right I don't. Look at you. This is what you do now? Delegate the dirty work to spineless, low-level flunkies. (to Novac) No offense. (Angel walks back toward Gunn) The mighty hero reduced to a bloody bureaucrat. If a certain slayer could see you now—

Angel

Get out of here, Spike.

Spike

Gladly. Cruel enough punishment being stuck here as a spook while you play "Chairman of the Boring." But hell if I'm gonna spend my afterlife in your stinking city. Get stuffed.

Angel

You don't think he's really gone, do you?

Wesley

That what's on your mind?

Angel

(stands, walks to sit behind his desk) Could have been me, Wes. Was supposed to be me.

Wesley

You're not feeling guilty?

Angel

About Spike? (chuckles) He's not—that's not—that's not— (sighs) Wolfram & Hart gave me the amulet. They must have expected me to use it. And they had to have known it would've done to me what it did to Spike, so—

Wesley

Why bother handing you the keys to the kingdom? (sits)

Angel

Doesn't make sense. What are the senior partners playing at?

Wesley

Maybe there's dissent in their ranks, or maybe there's another player in the game they—and we don't know anything about. Then again, maybe they got exactly what they were after.

Angel

Spike.

Wesley

He may be the one they—

Angel

What are you doing here? I thought you left town.

Spike

(standing in the doorway) Don't think I didn't bleeding try. Every time I got as far as the city limits I kept popping back here like my insides are getting yanked.

Wesley

Hmm. I suspected as much. The amulet's Wolfram & Hart's property. It's bound to this place, and since Spike's connected to it...

Spike

Hey! I'm nobody's bloody property, Percy. So what? I'm just stuck here forever? (to Angel) I bet you're loving this, aren't you?

Angel

Knowing you'll be haunting me till the end of time? (smirks) Hmm. It's a dream come true.

Harmony

(knocks on Angel's door) Uh, boss? That Novac lawyer you sent over to dump the client... well, he's back.

Angel

OK, send him in.

Harmony

Mmm, OK.

Angel

What is...

Spike

(smirks) Ol' buckets here was right. You guys are doing a bang-up job.

Angel

Harmony, get me Novac's contact list, close relations, next of kin, and let's be discreet about this for the time being, OK?

Harmony

Discreet? Oh, you mean like not tell anyone about bucket-o-lawyer.

Angel

Harmony, contact list.

Gunn

(walks off the elevator, hands a file to Angel) Hey, got word you wanted the file on Magnus Hainsley. Dig this. He's a sorcerer, big time. Rich with old money and older mojo. Owns a respectable block of shares in Wolfram & Hart and he's connected up the wazoo. Carries influence with power players in the entertainment industry, politics—

Angel

(flipping through the file) He's a necromancer.

Wesley

Power over the dead. That explains the bodies Wolfram & Hart's been providing him.

Angel

But not what he's been doing with them. (to Spike) Out of my chair.

Spike

Make me.

Gunn

What's in the buckets?

Spike

Your man Novac. Guess he's been— what do you call it? Downsized.

Angel

It's a message from Magnus Hainsley, and I'm gonna reply to it personally.

Wesley

You can't take Hainsley on yourself.

Angel

(walks toward his private elevator) I'm not gonna risk him turning somebody else into chowder.

Wesley

Angel, you have a multi-billion dollar company at your disposal with armed and trained personnel.

Angel

They cramp my style. (walks into his elevator)

Wesley

Your style's not gonna cut it with a necromancer. We should probably avoid an eye-for-an-eye escalation here.

Angel

Not going for his eyes, Wes.

Gunn

I know what you should go for. (Angel stops the elevator doors before they close) It'll hurt him. Bad.

Spike

(sitting in the passenger seat) Knew you'd pick the Viper. So bloody predictable.

Angel

Spike, get out of the car.

Spike

No.

Angel

What?

Spike

This haunting-you-till- the-end-of-time idea of yours is starting to sound appealing. I could drive you completely starkers, right out of your gourd. Yeah, and you wouldn't be able to do a sodding thing about it. (Angel slams the door and walks over to the next car, a silver Camaro) (Spike is sitting inside the car in the passenger seat; Angel groans) Fancy a road trip. This'll be fun, eh? You and me together again. So...where are we off to?

Angel

To see the wizard. (starts the car and drives away)

Do you have an appointment with Mr. Hainsley?

Spike

Let's just say he sent us an invitation.

Angel

We're—I'm from Wolfram & Hart.

Spike

I'm his date. (Angel rolls his eyes)

Mr. Hainsley is with a customer at the moment. I'm afraid he does not suffer interruption lightly.

Angel

Not so worried about his suffering. Go ahead and interrupt.

As you wish. Please wait here, gentlemen. (exits)

Spike

Oh, life among the power elite. It's all so civilized. Hainsley grinds up one of your people into chum, and you drop by for tea.

Angel

I'm hoping to avoid a body count here.

Spike

(looks off into the other room) No worries. Looks like this Hainsley keeps one on hand.

Spike

(scoffs) Man likes to play with dollies.

Angel

This isn't for him. It's a showroom.

(casually) I thought about going older with it. I don't know, more distinguished, kind of a 50-something Shirley Temple Black with it. You know, that ultra-respectable ambassador to somewhere feel. But in the end I... I went with pretty. I suppose we all do, in the end, don't we? You know, in the end. Pretty people just seem to have it so much— (the man sticks his hand in the woman's belly) Oh. Whoa. There's something you don't see every, uh— (the man reaches a hand back toward the demon) Augh! Mmm! (the man's hand glows orange as the demon's essence flows into the man's body through one hand, and out through the other, going into the woman) OK, yeah, that's feelin' a little weird.

Excuse the interruption, sir. There are some more men from Wolfram & Hart asking to see you. They seem rather adamant.

Kill them.

Very good, sir. (exits)

Spike

I don't know. Maybe the geezer's just lonely. Throws himself a surprise party every night. Picks out one of these painted pigeons and shows her a good time, if you know what I mean. What? I'm sure they don't mind.

Angel

Yeah, I mind.

Spike

Why? They're the lucky ones, aren't they? It's over for them. They've shuffled off, cleanly, the one time. Nobody's shoving them back into the stinking world against their will.

Angel

(angrily) I mind.

(enters the room) Mr. Hainsley has asked that I send you back to Wolfram & Hart, gentlemen. (reveals that he's holding butcher knives behind his back) In a manner of speaking.

Spike

Uh-oh. Looks like it's buckets for you.

Spike

A spoon?! That's just... (the butler reaches up to his forehead, pulls the spoon out, and turns toward Angel angrily) Well, OK, that's more... (the butler collapses) Disappointing, really.

Angel

I know you can't help me, but could you maybe not root for the other team?

Spike

Hey, I'll root for anyone with half a chance of taking you down a notch.

Angel

What is your problem?

Spike

(walks up to Angel) You are, ya ponce! You're my problem. You got it too good. (Angel walks away, Spike follows) You're king of a 30-floor castle, with all the cars, comfort, power, and glory you could ever want, and here I save the world, throw myself onto the proverbial hand grenade for love, honor, and all the right reasons, and what do I get? Bloody well toasted and ghosted is what I get, isn't it? It's not fair.

Angel

(stops, turns to Spike angrily) Fair?! You asked for a soul. I didn't! It almost killed me. I spent a hundred years trying to come to terms with infinite remorse. You spent 3 weeks moaning in a basement, and then you were fine! What's fair about that?!

Spike

(fading again) Are you getting blurry, or is it— (disappears)

Come in. It's open.

Angel

Hainsley.

(drying his hands) Didn't know it was the head cheese himself. I thought for sure you were another lackey. You should show more respect.

(lying on the table, the woman sits up) Oh, uh, I can see you guys have a thing going on. (walks toward the door) Don't wanna get in your way. I'll let myself out.

Angel

So how much do you charge, huh? Installing the average demon in a human body? I'm sure a lot of them would love to pass as people. You know, walk amongst the sheep.

Believe me, friend, the average demon can't afford it. (laughs)

Angel

I'm cutting off your supply, Hainsley. As of now your body shop is— (with a flick of his wrist, Hainsley takes control of Angel's body, freezing him in place) Aah!

Who do you think you're talking to? (turns his hand, causing Angel pain; Angel groans; Hainsley pulls Angel toward him) I eat the dead for breakfast, son. And you're just another plate o' bacon and eggs. (Spike shows up behind Angel) A ghost, huh? You brought a ghost as your backup, vampire?

Spike

I'm not here to back him up. I just haunt the bastard.

Angel

Stay out of this.

Spike

Oh, stick it—far as it'll go. You go ahead, wiz. Do what you want.

What I want is to turn you inside out, like a shirt. I could dust you right now, boy. Wouldn't even need a stake. (lets go of Angel, who grunts from the pain he was in) But that would be too big an insult for the senior partners to overlook. Seems that they've got plans for you

Angel

(exhales sharply) I've got plans of my own. (dials his cell phone) Gunn, do it.

And what was that? Just call in an air strike?

Angel

I just froze all your bank accounts, terminated your paper assets, and turned your books over to a very motivated contact we have at the I.R.S. 5 minutes from now, you'll have nothing but this house. 10 minutes from now, that'll go into foreclosure.

(frowns) You can't do that.

Angel

I'll let myself out.

It's not legal. You think you can get away with that? (scornful chuckling) I'll sue you to hell.

Angel

Good luck. We're your lawyers. (walks out)

This isn't over, vampire.

Spike

That's how you're gonna fight the forces of evil now—call the I.R.S.?

Angel

Whatever it takes.

Spike

Hello, I.R.S.? Will you fight my battles for me? And while you're at it, will you wipe my wide, spotty... (disappears)

Angel

Oh, thank God. (walks out of the house)

Spike

(reappears) Ass? (to Hainsley) You...

Power over the dead. But enough about me. Let's talk about you. You're a ghost. Well, close enough, anyway. That's just a horrible way to be. You're not here, you're not there, just lost, somewhere in the middle. And you can't fight against it. You can't fix it. Hell, you can't even lift a finger 'cause you simply don't have any.

Spike

Yeah. What's it to you?

I can give you back what's been taken from you—freedom, power of choice. I can put your destiny back in your own flesh-and-bone hands. That's right. A corporeal body. I can make that happen. But to do that, I need you to do something for me. Something that might require...

Spike

(excited) Hurt Angel, that it? You want me to hurt Angel? (grins devilishly) You've come to the right ghost.

Gunn

Wiped out every asset we could find on Hainsley. Wasn't easy. Man's got his fingers in a lot of dirty pies.

Angel

Yeah, well, I think pies are gonna be off his menu for a while.

Gunn

Yeah, well, it's gotta hurt. I mean, damn, who doesn't love pie? (sits)

Fred

You're back.

Wesley

Hainsley out of business?

Angel

Yeah, for the time being.

Fred

So he's not going away?

Angel

Well, I think that, "this isn't over yet, vampire," may be the tipoff. Look, guys, can we get back to my, uh, spiritual crisis?

Wesley

Yes. Spike.

Angel

Popped out on me at Hainsley's place. But we all know that he'll be back and back and back, and I really don't want that happening again, so explain to me how we're gonna get him out of here.

Fred

He can't get out of here.

Angel

Please don't tell me that.

Fred

OK. Wesley...you tell him.

Wesley

I've had my entire department doing thorough research on the amulet. There's not much. Not in the way of releasing Spike from it, anyway. At least not in the conventional sense.

Angel

And what's the unconventional sense?

Wesley

Something he asked for. Eternal rest.

Harmony

(straightening her desk) Fine. Don't talk to me.

Spike

What?

Harmony

Whole time we were a thing, you treated me like day-old rat blood. Why should now be any diff, just 'cause you've gone all Patrick Swayze?

Spike

What are you on about?

Harmony

Well, gee, nothing much. Just since you're all soulful now, I thought maybe, just maybe, you might've learned to open up a little. You know, talk? But I guess the leopard can't change his stripes.

Spike

Spots, you dink. Leopards have spots.

Harmony

Oh! Excuse me, Mr. Brainy. Thank you so much for sharing. Wow. What a breakthrough.

Fred

I mean, I know he's already dead, but... he'd be gone-dead. Forever. It just doesn't seem right.

Wesley

I agree, but neither is leaving him here, trapped between realms, with no control over his fate, not able to touch anything, affect anything. Unable to fight. Letting him cross over seems the most merciful thing—

Angel

Yeah, yeah, mercy. I'm all for it. Just, hey, tell me how we do it.

Wesley

The amulet's protected, invulnerable to anything, but... the magic that's protecting it doesn't work on hallowed ground.

Gunn

Hallowed. Like a church?

Wesley

Or cemetery, yes. It has to be taken there and destroyed.

Fred

Destroyed how?

Wesley

I think a sharp blow would probably do the trick.

Gunn

Angel, what do you think?

Angel

(sits back in his chair) I think I want to sleep on it.

Spike

(from the shadows near Angel's windows) Well, look at you.

Angel

Aw, no. No. No, no!

Spike

Sitting in luxury's ample lap. Top of the world. Looking down on... well, everyone. It's good to be king, isn't it?

Angel

Ground rules. Haunt me all you want during business hours, but this space—off limits.

Spike

Relax, beefcake. I didn't come for a fight.

Angel

Really?

Spike

Not that I could, right? Can't touch, can't affect anything... Yeah, I overheard your little group powwow about me.

Angel

How much?

Spike

Enough of enough.

Angel

Look, Spike—

Spike

Necromancer tried to make a deal with me.

Angel

What?

Spike

Said he could bring me back—body and soul—if I used our close personal relationship to double-cross you.

Angel

Tempting. So what'd you say?

Spike

You see, right there, that's the problem. You having to ask me that. I don't play for that side anymore, or haven't you heard? Besides... even if mr. Death could do what he promised, I trust him about as much as you trust me.

Angel

What do you want from me?

Spike

I can't live like this, Angel. Being useless. (sighs) Being nothing. I want it to end.

Spike

Suppose this'll do. Feels hallowed enough.

Angel

(looks at the amulet he's holding) Sure you want to do this, Spike?

Spike

(scoffs) What, think I could really stand hanging out with you and your lot, now and forever? Wisecracking ghost sidekick. No bloody thanks. Come on. You know as well as I do, it's for the best. (Angel picks up an urn from a nearby grave) I'm glad it's you, though. Finally doin' me in. Feels right. You being my grandsire and all. Circle of death, eh?

Angel

Good-bye, Spike.

Spike

See you around, Angel.

Spike

Uh, I think you missed.

And the dead shall rise! Just 'cause I say so.

Angel

Hainsley—

Vampire should think twice before messing with a man who wields power over all things lifeless. (drops Angel to the ground, knocking him out) If you ask my advice.

Spike

Took your sweet time stepping in, Hainsley. I came this close to getting a one-way to the great beyond.

Relax, son. I wasn't going to let anything happen to you. You're the linchpin of my plan.

Spike

Our plan. And you bloody better hold up your end of it. I'm not gonna be used by you.

Yes, you are. But afterwards, I'll give you your reward, just as you asked. I'll put you back in the driver's seat of your afterlife. Control. That's all anyone really wants, isn't it?

Hello, vampire. Have a nice nap? (Angel tries to sit up, but Hainsley uses his power to push him back down) Naw, don't get up. You've had a rough day. You know, so have I, thanks to you.

Angel

Yours is about to get a hell of a lot worse.

I don't think so. Me necromancer. You...dead. You can't lay a finger on me.

Angel

Maybe not. But what do you think the senior partners are gonna do to you when I turn up missing?

Oh, you're not going to be missing. You're going to show up to work bright-eyed and bushy-tailed tomorrow morning, when you'll reverse the seizure of my personal assets and reinstate the Internment Acquisitions Department.

Angel

And why would I do that?

Spike

(steps out from the shadows) Not you. Me. Wearing your body.

Angel

And to think I didn't trust you.

Spike

Come on, Angel. What choice did I have? Bloody exorcism? Letting you and yours banish me to oblivion? No, thanks. Necro here's gonna give me my body back... after I take yours for a test drive, fix his little problems. And here's the kicker: I go in, and you go... pfft! Off to never-never-come-back land. And then... yours very truly will be running the show. Your cars, your fancy digs, everything—everyone—I deserve...will be mine. (wistfully) And maybe I'll have a go with that Fred. She looks like a goer, and she seems to really look up to you.

Angel

Shut up.

Spike

You know what? You're right. Enough talk. Let's do this, already. I'm itchin' to get physical.

I've never installed anyone in a conscious dead body before. I imagine this is going to be extremely painful. (chuckles)

(to the orange glow in his arm) Unh! What? What...are you doing?

Angel

Spike...would you mind?

(pulls his hand out of Angel's body) No! Noooo!

Angel

(stands up and faces off with Hainsley, kicking him across the room) Can touch you now, Hainsley.

(controls Angel's body again, throwing him across the room) Think you're clever, eh? But—unnnnh!— Your ghost can't control me for long. I hold the power. I rule the dead. (reaches toward Angel, but can't control him anymore)

Angel

Not today.

Spike

Oh, bollocks. (Hainsley's body falls to the ground) I was just getting warmed up.

Angel

That was you hitting me?

Spike

The last bit, yeah. Hainsley's been dead since he hit the table. (Angel frowns) Oh, come on. Had to get a few licks in, didn't I?

Wesley

I see. So Spike came to you with this plan.

Angel

More or less. Once he learned Hainsley used himself as a conduit for body transfers, our trap fell into place.

Wesley

A bit reckless. Well, if Spike's going to be sticking around, it'd be prudent of him to share his plans with the rest of us in future.

Angel

Yeah, well, sharing's not something Spike does very well.

Harmony

Preaching to the horse's mouth.

Fred

Spike. What are you...can I help you?

Spike

Well, that's the heart of it, isn't it? The crux. The nub.

Fred

I'm sorry?

Spike

You're the smart one, aren't you? The go-to girl who knows all about this ghost mumbo-jumbo.

Fred

Um... (laughs nervously) Well, actually, Wesley's the occult expert. He—he was trained as a Watcher. He knows about the supernatur—

Spike

Yeah, but you're the science queen. The hows, the what-ifs—that's your cup of tea. You figure things out in that cute little noggin of yours.

Fred

(nervously) I guess. What... I-is there something...

Spike

I'm slippin'.

Fred

What?

Spike

Don't wanna go, but it's like... It's like the ground underneath me is... splitting open and my legs are... straddling both sides of this bloody big chasm. It's getting wider, pulling me in.

Fred

Is that... is that what's happening when you keep vanishing?

Spike

(faces away from Fred) I know what's down there—where it's trying to take me—and it's not the place heroes go. Not by a bloody long shot. It's the other one. Full of fire and torment. And it's happening. And I'm terrified. (faces Fred) Help me?